# What Is Attractive To Females **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2013, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218 "2013-09-19T07:11:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/61 "2013-09-19T18:35:25Z")
> [@Frazzled](#): > > You are incorrect. I am not female, and while men are initially attracted to looks (especially when we’re in High School) _most_ of us mature and look at a fuller package as well. I have no problem attracting “females” and was sharing some of what I know works. If you want to attract girls, steps 1, 2, and 3 is to be attractive. > > But everything I said applies to men too. The women I’m most attracted to are ones that I think are fun to watch because they’re active, and ones who are confident, interesting, and creative. While I very much care that a woman I’m with takes care of herself and cares about her appearance - actual “looks” are a bit further down the line behind the less tangible things. > > I will tell you this - if all you care about is a girl who is hot and you want to learn the magic words to drop her panties - good luck. > > The tone of your post tells me you’re inexperienced and have no basis to be critiquing advice. Liking a woman for more then looks is not the same as being mature. Although I think its a good thing to consider for a relationship, its not objectively in and of itself a sign of maturity. I agree that it can happen that men value personality, but if not everyone shares your sexual preference it doesn’t make them immature. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/62 "2013-09-19T18:36:25Z")
> [@Smeghead](#): > > Humor, perhaps? Yep ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/63 "2013-09-19T18:37:08Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > 1. No > 2. If I choose to use the word female (oh my goodness!) or joke like that on a PUBLIC message board in a free country, then thats how it is. And you wonder why you can’t get laid. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/64 "2013-09-19T18:38:06Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > 1. No > 2. If I choose to use the word female (oh my goodness!) or joke like that on a PUBLIC message board in a free country, then thats how it is. Then why are you asking what females like? I told you 1) we don’t like being called Female and 2) we don’t particularly like rape jokes. Yet you refuse to stop doing both. So you just don’t give a shit. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/65 "2013-09-19T18:38:49Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > Hopeless. Its possible. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/66 "2013-09-19T18:38:51Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > 1. No > 2. If I choose to use the word female (oh my goodness!) or joke like that on a PUBLIC message board in a free country, then thats how it is. You asked what attracts “females”, and several people have pointed out to you that calling them “females” is unattractive. Others have pointed out that rape jokes are unattractive. Your rights are not under attack here. Why would you want to persist in behavior that has been identified as unattractive, not to mention rude and obnoxious? ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/67 "2013-09-19T18:48:23Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > Then why are you asking what females like? I told you 1) we don’t like being called Female and 2) we don’t particularly like rape jokes. Yet you refuse to stop doing both. So you just don’t give a shit. About what girls like: wrong About saying female or rape jokes: Well, right. I don’t want people who have bad thing happen to be triggered, but then again why keep reading if my posts are doing that to you. Since I cant seem to go through one thread on this board where someone feels that I need to change my posts to suit their preferences, then oh well. Besides, “he who trims himself to suit everyone soon whittles himself away.” ---
**Author:** ![Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/848f3c/32.png) [@Fuzzy\_Dunlop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fuzzy_Dunlop)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/68 "2013-09-19T18:53:31Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > Liking a woman for more then looks is not the same as being mature. Although I think its a good thing to consider for a relationship, its not objectively in and of itself a sign of maturity. I agree that it can happen that men value personality, but if not everyone shares your sexual preference it doesn’t make them immature. Although it’s obviously not the \*\*same \*\*as being mature, it most certainly is objectively and in and of itself a sign of maturity. It’s not like mature adults only look at attractiveness and personality, either. There are all kinds of other things adult men and women look for in a partner, like emotional stability, shared life goals and values, social status, an ability to provide for oneself. The list goes on and on. None of those are personality traits, and they’re certainly not physical traits. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/69 "2013-09-19T18:54:28Z")
Please. “Oh, hey, everybody, what do females like? Cuz I really want one to play with my ding-dong. Hahaha rape joke.” Actual real life women: “Well we don’t like being called females - we’re women, people, just like you. And do you mind please laying off the rape jokes?” “Hahahaha I don’t care what you say.” I’m not being “triggered” by your silly references to rape. I’m pointing out that in a thread asking for what women like, talking about rape might not be the best of ideas. It’s not the appropriate venue. Or am I using words that are too big? Put it this way: I wouldn’t date you. ---
**Author:** ![Hello\_Again](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/85e7bf/32.png) [@Hello\_Again](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hello_Again)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/70 "2013-09-19T18:56:03Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > but if not everyone shares your sexual preference it doesn’t make them immature. If by “sexual preference” you refer to being attracted to something other than a pretty face + wet hole, yeah, it does. Selecting partners solely on superficial appearances is practically the definition of immature when it come to relationships. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/71 "2013-09-19T18:59:48Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > About what girls like: wrong > About saying female or rape jokes: Well, right. I don’t want people who have bad thing happen to be triggered, but then again why keep reading if my posts are doing that to you. > > Since I cant seem to go through one thread on this board where someone feels that I need to change my posts to suit their preferences, then oh well. Besides, “he who trims himself to suit everyone soon whittles himself away.” Some friendly advice: one person gives you a hard time, maybe they’re an asshole. _Everyone_ gives you a hard time? Maybe you’re the asshole. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/72 "2013-09-19T19:00:00Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > About what girls like: wrong > About saying female or rape jokes: Well, right. I don’t want people who have bad thing happen to be triggered, but then again why keep reading if my posts are doing that to you. > > Since I cant seem to go through one thread on this board where someone feels that I need to change my posts to suit their preferences, then oh well. Besides, “he who trims himself to suit everyone soon whittles himself away.” If every thread has several people pointing out how you’re being rude, demeaning, or obnoxious, the problem may in fact lie within yourself. I wouldn’t touch you with a hundred foot pole. If you can’t recognize your own faults and work to change them, you’ll never find a worthwhile partner. And of course, you’ll only whittle yourself away to nothing if 100% of you is made out of being a jerk. ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/73 "2013-09-19T19:08:32Z")
Ohhhhh, I just figured it out, are we negging? Sweet, let’s do this… You just read a book about the pickup artist movement. You know everything there is to know about women and are insulting as many as you can on random message boards. Not taking advice tells them you’re your own man! Making rape jokes makes you sound dangerous and you know how women loove the bad boy. Any minute now they’ll start pouring in through your basement door. You’ve already hidden your half used crate of Jergen’s in a corner, no need for self gratification tonight! Noooo sirree, tonight your virginity ends. If you insult 1000 women on the internet surely you’ll get at least 1 taker. Oh my God she’s hot! Only small issue is her slightly larger than normal Adam’s apple. No biggie - she has boobs and you’re about to touch them! Great mama from bahama! If you don’t finish too early the surprises will be fast and furious tonight! I believe in you! Good luck dude! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/74 "2013-09-19T19:11:41Z")
> [@Frazzled](#): > > Ohhhhh, I just figured it out, are we negging? Sweet, let’s do this… You just read a book about the pickup artist movement. You know everything there is to know about women and are insulting as many as you can on random message boards. Not taking advice tells them you’re your own man! Making rape jokes makes you sound dangerous and you know how women loove the bad boy. Any minute now they’ll start pouring in through your basement door. You’ve already hidden your half used crate of Jergen’s in a corner, no need for self gratification tonight! Noooo sirree, tonight your virginity ends. If you insult 1000 women on the internet surely you’ll get at least 1 taker. Oh my God she’s hot! Only small issue is her slightly larger than normal Adam’s apple. No biggie - she has boobs and you’re about to touch them! Great mama from bahama! If you don’t finish too early the surprises will be fast and furious tonight! I believe in you! Good luck dude! See? I might consider going on at least one date with this person (I am pretty sure she is a woman, but work with me here.) She made me laugh, she listened to the things others say, and she’s sarcastic and funny. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/75 "2013-09-19T19:13:47Z")
One LAST post on this by me (rape jokes and choice of words ) because the topic is derailed. Female is what women are. Male is what men are. That is reality. If you have beef with that, it is simply YOUR rules and not THE rules. Different people have different senses of humor. If mine bugs you, then thats how it goes. Now quit raping my thread with off topic remarks ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/76 "2013-09-19T19:14:45Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > See? I might consider going on at least one date with this person (I am pretty sure she is a woman, but work with me here.) She made me laugh, she listened to the things others say, and she’s sarcastic and funny. Really have to change my name - I’m a guy 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/77 "2013-09-19T19:15:44Z")
Heavens to Betsy. WE DONE BEEN TOLD! To **Frazzled** : Well I _thought_ you were, but you called him “sweet”, so then I was unsure. There you have it then. 🙂 I see now you didn’t call him sweet, were just saying sweet. ---
**Author:** ![aNewLeaf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@aNewLeaf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aNewLeaf)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 7:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/78 "2013-09-19T19:16:32Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > Since I cant seem to go through one thread on this board where someone feels that I need to change my posts to suit their preferences, then oh well. What do all those threads have in common? Your posts. Think about it. ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/79 "2013-09-19T19:23:24Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > One LAST post on this by me (rape jokes and choice of words ) because the topic is derailed. Female is what women are. Male is what men are. That is reality. If you have beef with that, it is simply YOUR rules and not THE rules. > > Different people have different senses of humor. If mine bugs you, then thats how it goes. > > Now quit raping my thread with off topic remarks Do you genuinely not see the irony of posting this “I do what I want, and if you don’t like it, tough!” bullshit in a thread where you claim to be interested in learning how to change yourself to become more attractive to 50% of the population? Really? ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/80 "2013-09-19T19:23:28Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > One last post on this by me (rape jokes and choice of words ) because the topic is derailed. Female is what women are. Male is what men are. That is reality. If you have beef with that, it is simply YOUR rules and not THE rules. > > Different people have different senses of humor. If mine bugs you, then thats how it goes. > > Now quit raping my thread with off topic remarks This person is the target audience for the “seduction community”. Always looking for a shortcut to sophistocation and charm and impervious to self-improvement. Fortunately they are easy to spot and there is no shame in shunning such behavior until or unless they become better people. OP, learn the room. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218.md?page=5)