# What Is Attractive To Females **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2013, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218 "2013-09-19T07:11:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 11:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/101 "2013-09-19T23:16:32Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > It is “othering” language. > It’s also [distancing language](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Distancing_language). Distancing language being commonly used for self-deception, it makes it clear that your protestations that “of COURSE females are individuals!” is something you do not actually, truly believe. “Male” and “female” are also used as distancing language by police and military, particularly for people who are suspected culprits or for people who are about to be killed. ---
**Author:** ![Cheshire\_Human](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/5f8ce5/32.png) [@Cheshire\_Human](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheshire_Human)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/102 "2013-09-19T23:38:07Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > Well, there’s his first mistake. Why would any intelligent person think there’s any valid generalizations to be made WITHIN humanity, much less across multiple different species? > > You mean like he did, as you ever-so-helpfully just pointed out? Precisely. OOPS. This isn’t the Pit. Nevermind. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2013, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/103 "2013-09-19T23:38:58Z")
> [@aNewLeaf](#): > > Yep, that’s a good list. Fitness is a whole 'other thing, as a man you can qualify on fitness alone if you have a rare special type of body. > But most men have to be able to carry on an interesting funny conversation while being casual and confident. Having a job and a life help. No, I mean fitness INDICATORS, different from just fitness. Fitness indicators are what the mate in any species looks for as a sign that the other is good for mating. The fitness indicator (F.I.) of several species include: the height at which an eagle can fly, the aesthetics of a bower birds nest, the alpha of several species etc. One of the unique traits a human has is their mind. and it has been thought the mind is man’s F.I. especially when humor, intelligence, confidence, and being interesting are generally thought attractive to women. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/104 "2013-09-20T00:26:14Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > But you ARE females. > And yes, you are people, but what females are generally finding attractive can be a mystery. I’ve heard many men use “no fat chicks” as a screening device. Personally, I like fat and thin, but there you go. Women tend to hear a fella say “females” and conclude that he is a loser the same way. Hide, just a little bit, the fact that you consider a woman someone to fuck, suck, clean and cook and you may get as far as far as the first two. Not having an attitude at all about it is an opening to being a grown up. ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 10:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/105 "2013-09-20T10:11:42Z")
> [@Kaio](#): > > How can you carry this much cognitive dissonance in your head and not explode? > > . Duh! It’s simple: as a species, we aren’t all attracted to the same things. On one hand, you have men who clearly have their own unique preferences because they’re all individuals. And then on the other hand, you have females who like whatever it is females like. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 10:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/106 "2013-09-20T10:29:49Z")
> [@thenonepercent](#): > > Why is it that HUMAN FEMALES perpetuate this misandry of not providing an easy to follow procedural list of attractants so Nice Guys like the OP can input the correct GET SEX code? > > Gateway, I suggest you check gamefaqs. I tried “up up down down left right left right b a” but she just slapped me. ---
**Author:** ![Ibanez](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/a4c791/32.png) [@Ibanez](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ibanez)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 11:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/107 "2013-09-20T11:56:46Z")
To OP: _These aren’t the women’s opinions you’re looking for._ Jedi hand wave. ---
**Author:** ![mo50](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8797f3/32.png) [@mo50](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mo50)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 12:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/108 "2013-09-20T12:20:20Z")
I’m vaguely recalling a study I read about awhile back (sorry I don’t have a link) that suggested women are often attracted the macho, bad boy type type while ovulating, but prefer the steady, reliable guy otherwise, assuming all the other factors are within the ballpark range like looks, intelligence, income, height and so forth. Not unlike how a guy might get turned on by a porn star type but wouldn’t want to marry her. Hey, a woman reserves the right to change her mind! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Double\_Foolscap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Double\_Foolscap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Double_Foolscap)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 12:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/109 "2013-09-20T12:25:22Z")
Oi, **Gateway**. [Relevant to your interests.](http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-to-have-more-sex-right-now21-today21/) ---
**Author:** ![Don\_t\_Panic](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/don_t_panic/32/398_2.png) [@Don\_t\_Panic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_t_Panic)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/110 "2013-09-20T12:27:00Z")
> [@mo50](#): > > I’m vaguely recalling a study I read about awhile back (sorry I don’t have a link) that suggested women are often attracted the macho, bad boy type type while ovulating, but prefer the steady, reliable guy otherwise, assuming all the other factors are within the ballpark range like looks, intelligence, income, height and so forth. Not unlike how a guy might get turned on by a porn star type but wouldn’t want to marry her. > Hey, a woman reserves the right to change her mind! 🙂 I guess that fits the cliche of the woman who is married to the millionaire, but is screwing the pool boy. ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 12:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/111 "2013-09-20T12:55:15Z")
> [@Double\_Foolscap](#): > > Oi, **Gateway**. > > [Relevant to your interests.](http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-to-have-more-sex-right-now21-today21/) The author of that article is attractive to this female (person). ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/112 "2013-09-20T13:07:34Z")
> [@Double\_Foolscap](#): > > Oi, **Gateway**. > > [Relevant to your interests.](http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-to-have-more-sex-right-now21-today21/) That three part comic on the second page is exactly what I am talking about. Make a woman laugh and you may just charm her into your bed. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/113 "2013-09-20T13:30:38Z")
> [@mo50](#): > > I’m vaguely recalling a study I read about awhile back (sorry I don’t have a link) that suggested women are often attracted the macho, bad boy type type while ovulating, but prefer the steady, reliable guy otherwise, assuming all the other factors are within the ballpark range like looks, intelligence, income, height and so forth. The evolutionary logic here would be the instinct to secure the best genes for one’s offspring as well as the best material security. If it is not available from a single man, then instincts are perfectly willing to take the genes from the “bad boy” and the security from the reliable guy. ---
**Author:** ![lavenderviolet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/cdc98d/32.png) [@lavenderviolet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lavenderviolet)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/114 "2013-09-20T13:55:27Z")
Being a chick/female myself, I can agree that there is no ONE answer that applies to all of us, but here’s the best advice I have for dudes: Most women - heck, most people - like a partner who has money. Make financial stability a priority. On an individual basis, some women may not care about money (I make enough money myself that I ended up marrying a guy who doesn’t make that much because he has other traits I value/need more than additional money), but on average, money is the one most reliable way that guys can make themselves more attractive. Even I certainly would say that, all other things being equal, it would have been NICE it if my partner had more money even if it wasn’t a dealbreaker that he didn’t. Try to cultivate a sense of humor. Humor is attractive to most people. The problem is that different people find different things funny, and if you are not naturally funny, it is really hard to intentionally become funny. But you could try taking improv classes or something if you wanted to try to become funnier. Other than those two things - humor and money - I don’t think there is any consistent formula. Some women value being “nice”/sensitive, but others prefer macho guys. Some women find certain physical traits attractive yet others don’t. If you’re not able to work on acquiring more money or becoming funnier, all you can do is just a trial and error effort of dating around until you find someone who wants to be with you. ---
**Author:** ![thenonepercent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@thenonepercent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thenonepercent)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 2:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/115 "2013-09-20T14:09:04Z")
What isn’t attractive to females: Being weirdly analytical and collecting PRO TIPS on how to optimize your build to efficiently harvest vagina points. ---
**Author:** ![Macca26](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/13edae/32.png) [@Macca26](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Macca26)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 2:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/116 "2013-09-20T14:30:57Z")
I went through the list he created of attractiveness indicators and rated my husband (as a stranger would rate him). I ended up with: 7 “yes” 2 “no” 5 “meh” If money had been on the list, it would’ve been a “no” as he didn’t have any. I am confused and saddened by how much a bankroll matters to other people. Maybe I have too romantic a view of love. My man doesn’t have to have lots of money, just work steadily and not be in debt. Anyway, decent indicator that you can be mediocre or fail half the list and still find someone who loves you, so long as you don’t reek or shamble around talking about “raping females”. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 8:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/117 "2013-09-20T20:20:06Z")
> [@Macca26](#): > > If money had been on the list, it would’ve been a “no” as he didn’t have any. I am confused and saddened by how much a bankroll matters to other people. Maybe I have too romantic a view of love. My man doesn’t have to have lots of money, just work steadily and not be in debt. Requiring that he be working steadily and not have debt is counting money as important. ---
**Author:** ![Frazzled](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frazzled/32/3368_2.png) [@Frazzled](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frazzled)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/118 "2013-09-20T20:24:16Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I tried “up up down down left right left right b a” but she just slapped me. I tried it this morning too. I got a laugh, told I was a geek, and then I got a kiss. Curious. This unpredictable and non-consistent output of female behavior despite using the same inputs is highly illogical. Have you upgraded to the latest version of female and run all of the service packs? ---
**Author:** ![JustinC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justinc/32/8083_2.png) [@JustinC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JustinC)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/119 "2013-09-20T21:04:35Z")
> [@Frazzled](#): > > The real question is “what’s attractive?” This question is independent of gender because in the end we’re all pretty much attracted to the same basic things (with variations of course). > > The easiest example, and the most obvious, is that we’re attracted to people who are fun to look at. A fit body is very nice and easy to get with good diet and exercise habits (admittedly those habits are very hard to maintain!). **Good grooming and personal style** go a long ways towards being pleasing to look at as well. > > But looks aren’t everything, and for many they’re not the most important. There are many other things people are attracted to. > > People are attracted to people who are interesting to watch. Athletes and actors are big examples here since people shell out big money to watch them. **Any activity where you are entertaining people** and they go out of their way to watch is extremely attractive. > > People are attracted to leaders. Teachers, coaches, mentors. This is the very definition of confidence. If you are good at something put it out there and share it with others. > > People are attracted to producers. **Are you artistic? Then paint. Are you a good cook? Then make dinner. Fix up your yard. Make your house look neat with a lot of little personal touches.** Just do _something_ that people will be interested in hearing about and sharing with their friends. > > People are attracted to the people other people are attracted to. If you do something that other people find interesting and fascinating and are talking about then that is naturally something that people want to know more about. > > People are attracted to people who make their friends jealous. Ok, maybe not jealous but people love talking about the person they’re dating and knowing that their friends are impressed with your feats and accomplishments. It’s fun feeling like we have a great catch! > > If you want to attract attention from the opposite sex, then the most sure fire way to do so is to do the things listed above. When you become attractive yourself then people will be drawn to you like a moth to flames. My bolding. So, if I want to attract females I just need to turn into a gay? I find females with a low sense of esteem or self-worth will take on just about any dude they find. All you have to do is get to know lots of different groups of women and there’s almost a 100% certainty one in every group will be single and feel bad about themselves. A few kind words from you and you’ll be doing the pants dance quicker than you can say ‘Shall I call you a taxi?’. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2013, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/120 "2013-09-20T21:09:02Z")
> [@JustinC](#): > > My bolding. So, if I want to attract females I just need to turn into a gay? Yes, please. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218.md?page=7)