# What Is Attractive To Females **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [September 19, 2013, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218 "2013-09-19T07:11:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 9
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 6:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/161 "2013-09-24T18:52:47Z")
> [@handsomeharry](#): > > Speaking of alien entities, in what world is the word ‘female’ a sign of being extra-terrestrial? > I think you need to stop being empowered. You’re already over the top. thumbs up! ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/162 "2013-09-24T18:53:09Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Not in my experience. If you can call someone ugly or even really ugly then how can you be attracted to them? I understand that you can like their personality, but what kind of physical relationship can there be if you think they’re ugly? In my experience, an extremely SATISFYING physical relationship…even if you do have to resort to candlelit encounters. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/163 "2013-09-24T18:54:27Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > How did they get the $? Talent, drive, ambition, alternatives to genetic gifts. Those people auditioned for the jobs, trained themselves to play music, or honed a natural talent. What is preventing any ordinary looking person from doing the same? Ask all the people who have done the same things the rich celebrities have but haven’t gotten rich. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/164 "2013-09-24T18:55:04Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > thumbs up Just remember, when someone doesn’t like a word you call them, it’s their fault and they should just get over it! That’s much easier than, you know, using a different word. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 6:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/165 "2013-09-24T18:55:43Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > In my experience, an extremely SATISFYING physical relationship…even if you do have to resort to candlelit encounters. So the person is so ugly you cant have sex with the lights on? I’ll bet that felt good when you told em why. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/166 "2013-09-24T18:56:35Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > And there are many many more non-rich ugly people with no romantic success. > It has nothing to do with being ‘nice’ or not, it has to do with being attractive or not. Just because you can point out someone and say ‘He’s ugly and he gets laid’ doesn’t mean that everyone else who’s ugly gets laid too. So he beat the odds, good for him. But he’s the exception, not the rule. I see the issue- you see “romantic success” as “gets laid”. That’s the source of this misunderstanding. ---
**Author:** ![Gateway](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/dbc845/32.png) [@Gateway](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gateway)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/167 "2013-09-24T18:57:30Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > Just remember, when someone doesn’t like a word you call them, it’s their fault and they should just get over it! That’s much easier than, you know, using a different word. Yeah cuz you know, like, female is SO offensive. Hey, you think if i called em mammles or homosapiens their heads would explode? ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 6:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/168 "2013-09-24T18:58:12Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > But you gave them the chance because they were attractive, otherwise you would have just shut them down before anything else could happen. > > He couldn’t have been that ugly then. > > Again, they can’t be that ugly if they’re getting laid all the time. Someone is attracted to them, they’ve attracted someone, they are attractive. It’s the definition of the word. Again, the physically attractive guys approached ME. I listened to just about all the guys, whether they were physically attractive or not. I only shut them down when they tried to neg hit me, or otherwise showed that they were jerks. As for the guy I was talking about, physically, this guy was extremely ugly. Hell, he was known on campus as being one of the 10 ugliest guys in college. I’m sure that he did have some women who shut him down before he had a chance to really talk to them. But that was their loss. He knew he was ugly, and he tried harder to be charming. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 6:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/169 "2013-09-24T18:59:49Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > So the person is so ugly you cant have sex with the lights on? I’ll bet that felt good when you told em why. HE was the one who liked the candlelit encounters. He thought it was more sensual. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/170 "2013-09-24T19:07:44Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > I see the issue- you see “romantic success” as “gets laid”. That’s the source of this misunderstanding. Um… no. If you want to substitute ‘is romantically successful’ in go for it. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/171 "2013-09-24T19:09:55Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > HE was the one who liked the candlelit encounters. He thought it was more sensual. You said you could have a very satisfying physical relationship with someone who was ugly, even if you did have to resort to candlelit encounters. This sounded like you were resorting to the candle encounters because he was ugly, not because he liked it. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/172 "2013-09-24T19:12:07Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > tried to neg hit me What does that mean? > [@](#): > > As for the guy I was talking about, physically, this guy was extremely ugly. Hell, he was known on campus as being one of the 10 ugliest guys in college. I’m sure that he did have some women who shut him down before he had a chance to really talk to them. But that was their loss. He knew he was ugly, and he tried harder to be charming. He was known on campus as one of the 10 ugliest guys? That harsh. ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/173 "2013-09-24T19:30:12Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > thumbs up! Then both of you have sorely misunderstood the use of the word “alien”. She meant “Entirely different from my own, male experience” not otherwordly. > [@hotflungwok](#): > > Ask all the people who have done the same things the rich celebrities have but haven’t gotten rich. Then they weren’t talented, successful, or driven or any combination of the three. No one is owed pussy, I’m sorry to inform you. If you weren’t blessed with genetic gifts, heirlooms, family money or natural talent, then find another way to make yourself appealing. Most of us aren’t beautiful. Most of us aren’t born rich, or talented, or driven. But some of us are quite ugly and still successful with the opposite sex. It’s your choice to mourn your station or enhance your talents. ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/174 "2013-09-24T19:49:18Z")
> [@CLee](#): > > Then they weren’t talented, successful, or driven or any combination of the three. No one is owed pussy, I’m sorry to inform you. If you weren’t blessed with genetic gifts, heirlooms, family money or natural talent, then find another way to make yourself appealing. Most of us aren’t beautiful. Most of us aren’t born rich, or talented, or driven. But some of us are quite ugly and still successful with the opposite sex. It’s your choice to mourn your station or enhance your talents. Wow. You think that I think that I’m owed pussy? That I’m just sitting here crying? That’s what you got out of my posts? First, take your personal insults and cram them. Second, you know jack about me and have no idea what my ‘talents’ are like or whether I’m ‘enhancing’ them. I talked about my experiences in this thread, I’m ever so sorry they don’t jive with yours. Kinda makes me wonder which button I pushed to cause such a personal rant. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/175 "2013-09-24T19:53:01Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Um… no. If you want to substitute ‘is romantically successful’ in go for it. What I was saying is perfectly accurate, because I was talking about long term romantic happiness (which I see as "romantically successful). You were talking about getting laid, which is a different thing. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/176 "2013-09-24T19:56:19Z")
> [@Gateway](#): > > Yeah cuz you know, like, female is SO offensive. Hey, you think if i called em mammles or homosapiens their heads would explode? You were asking for people’s opinions in this thread. Many gave you their opinion about your use of the word “female”- perfectly reasonable opinions. You are free to reject this information, as you have, and we are free to make fun of you for rejecting good and reasonable advice (especially since it costs you nothing). It’s possible you’re wrong here- just think about it. It’s not a huge deal- just a word that some people take in a negative way. You can ignore it, but you run the risk that some decent women might be turned off in the future if you call them “females”. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/177 "2013-09-24T19:58:30Z")
I’ll also go on to say that being ugly, while being somewhat of an obstacle to casual sex (if that’s what you’re after), is by no means a total barrier. It just means that ugly people will have to find some other advantages and avenues to make up for it- it might be money, or a sense of humor, or some great achievement, or just being a great and sensitive person, or getting good at finding people who don’t care much about looks. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/178 "2013-09-24T20:00:06Z")
Isn’t it a bit difficult for someone to argue that they never have any success at dating because they are too ugly when it could be that they are just awful people? This is a black swan thing. If you argue that there are no black swans, a single black swan sighting disproves it. You can’t prove that ugly guys can’t find love/romance/sex, but you can disprove it. And if one side gets to bring in anecdote to make the argument, the other side gets to bring in anecdote to refute it. But the No True Ugly Man arguments are fairly amusing. ---
**Author:** ![CLee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f19dbf/32.png) [@CLee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CLee)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/179 "2013-09-24T20:16:21Z")
> [@hotflungwok](#): > > Wow. You think that I think that I’m owed pussy? That I’m just sitting here crying? That’s what you got out of my posts? First, take your personal insults and cram them. Second, you know jack about me and have no idea what my ‘talents’ are like or whether I’m ‘enhancing’ them. I talked about my experiences in this thread, I’m ever so sorry they don’t jive with yours. Kinda makes me wonder which button I pushed to cause such a personal rant. I’m ugly, and I get laid. How am I supposed to relate to you? ---
**Author:** ![hotflungwok](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/edb3f5/32.png) [@hotflungwok](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/hotflungwok)\ **Post date:** [September 24, 2013, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218/180 "2013-09-24T20:17:02Z")
> [@iiandyiiii](#): > > What I was saying is perfectly accurate, because I was talking about long term romantic happiness (which I see as "romantically successful). You were talking about getting laid, which is a different thing. You’re just harping on the word I used. I used ‘get laid’ as a shortcut, I don’t think getting laid is the desired goal. If you’d read my discussion with Lynn Bodoni I already stated that I understand liking someone’s personality, it was the physical aspect I was questioning. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218.md?page=8) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-attractive-to-females/669218.md?page=10)