# What is Charisma? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [October 11, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929 "2003-10-11T23:44:28Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2003, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/1 "2003-10-11T23:44:28Z")
[I’m posting this in IMHO because I want what to know what the Teeming Millions think charisma is, not what the dictionary says. You guys are way cooler than the OED. And I don’t think this is quite a big enough question to warrant Great Debates - but Mods, if I have erred, please accept my apologies.] What makes a person “charismatic”? We’ve all met charismatic people - they’re the ones in bars or parties that everyone is talking to, the politicians you can’t help but like, the natural leaders who even in high school took to the Student Council presidency like they’d been born to the role. But how does charisma work? Is it just a personality trait - mix a dash of intelligence, social skills, and self-confidence, and you’ve got charisma? Or is our perceptions of charismatic-ness just the person in question drawing, consciously or otherwise, on sets of verbal and nonverbal cues that we’re conditioned to respond to? And where does Al Gore trying to become an “alpha male” fit into all this? Discuss, deliberate, have fun. I’ll come back with beer. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/3 "2003-10-12T00:01:04Z")
Hmm- yeah, it seems like for that to have worked one would have to be famous. If _I_ were to just walk into a room at random and start acting like I new everybody, it would be seen as somewhat irritating. But fame obviously isn’t _needed_ for charisma - I know several non-famous people I’d describe as “charismatic”. So what else is there? ---
**Author:** ![JThunder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e95f7d/32.png) [@JThunder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JThunder)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/4 "2003-10-12T00:03:52Z")
She used to play Cordelia on _Buffy_ and _Angel_. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/5 "2003-10-12T00:12:28Z")
Okay two things: one, I don’t know why I spelled “knew” n-e-w. I’m literate, honest. Second, I promised beer. Here it is. _drops thirty-rack on floor_ enjoy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Excellent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f19dbf/32.png) [@Mr.Excellent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Excellent)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/6 "2003-10-12T00:14:53Z")
**Jthunder** , I think you’ve already had enough. ---
**Author:** ![astro](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9dc877/32.png) [@astro](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/astro)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/7 "2003-10-12T00:26:52Z")
Interesting question- Charisma is most specifically (to me) the ability of a person to make you think that they are speaking _directly_ to you, even if they are addressing a multitude, and if they are speaking directly to you that you are the most interesting, and most important person in the world. It’s more art than science, and I think a healthy chunk of it is really beyond the reach of training. It’s one of those, “you’ve either got it you don’t” things. IMO, in it’s primal essence it’s a focus on being communicative and engaged with other people, and it’s amazing to me how body language, gestures, and eye contact can communicate 99% of this to other people before a word is spoken. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/8 "2003-10-12T00:46:14Z")
Charisma? Just role a couple dice to find out what yours is . . . ---
**Author:** ![Urban\_Ranger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Urban\_Ranger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urban_Ranger)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 1:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/9 "2003-10-12T13:19:02Z")
Charisma is the ability to put the other person in the spotlight, that you are genuinely interested in him or her. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/10 "2003-10-12T19:04:27Z")
Happy, spontaneous, sympathetic, ego-less, polite, brave, intelligent, flattering, humble. But enough about me, let’s talk about you. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Terminus\_Est](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terminus_est/32/3087_2.png) [@Terminus\_Est](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terminus_Est)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/11 "2003-10-12T19:32:44Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DreadCthulhu \* > \*\*Charisma? Just role a couple dice to find out what yours is . . . \*\* Only two? That must explain why yours is so low. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2003, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/12 "2003-10-12T20:12:02Z")
Charisma is a combination of self-confidence and social skills. (I was going to say empathy but some sociopaths are very charismatic, so social skills sounds better to me.) To be Charismatic someone has to believe that they are a great person, god’s gift to everybody, and have the ability to come off charming while believing this. Self-confidence without social skills makes people relentless assholes, while social skills without self confidence makes them seem “nice” rather than charismatic. ---
**Author:** ![Carm6773](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2bfe46/32.png) [@Carm6773](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Carm6773)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/13 "2003-10-13T01:13:13Z")
Charisma is the child of one of my former students. Yes, she named her daughter _Charisma_. Scary, huh? ---
**Author:** ![Sinshine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f04885/32.png) [@Sinshine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sinshine)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/14 "2003-10-13T02:25:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ccwaterback \* > \*\*Happy, spontaneous, sympathetic, ego-less, polite, brave, intelligent, flattering, humble. But enough about me, let’s talk about you. 😃 \*\* Actually, **ccwaterback** is pretty much right on the money. On both counts. I had a copy of the old Dale Carnegie standby, How to win friends and influence people, which went walk-about. Whoever borrowed it hopefully put it to good use. I don’t know if you are looking for a debate on the characteristics of charisma, or a how-to on being the Magnetic One. If it’s the latter, it’s a decent starting point. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 6:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/15 "2003-10-13T06:21:53Z")
Problem with Carnegie is that it does not work with total depressives. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/16 "2003-10-13T06:54:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Sinshine \* > **Actually, ccwaterback is pretty much right on the money. On both counts.** I just tried to jot down some of the characteristic words that describe charismatic people I have known. I try to be all these things, and on some days I hit the bulls eye, other days I’m just not up to it. I think **Larry Borgia** ’s comment pretty much nailed charisma. ---
**Author:** ![ccwaterback](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/df705f/32.png) [@ccwaterback](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ccwaterback)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 7:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/17 "2003-10-13T07:21:53Z")
A couple more words to add to my list: confident and generous. ---
**Author:** ![kung\_fu\_lola](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/f4b2a3/32.png) [@kung\_fu\_lola](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kung_fu_lola)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/18 "2003-10-13T16:13:19Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Larry Borgia \* > \*\* To be Charismatic someone has to believe that they are a great person, god’s gift to everybody, and have the ability to come off charming while believing this. \*\* IMO, this is _le mot juste_. What a lot of people don’t talk about though, is that charisma is a double-edged sword; charismatic people can either be manipulative, **scary** bastards, or people who genuinely make the world a better place. I know of one of each. ---
**Author:** ![Eve](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Eve](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eve)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2003, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/19 "2003-10-13T16:45:53Z")
Elinor Glyn called charisma “It,” and said that “To have ‘It,’ the fortunate possessor must have that strange magnetism which attracts both sexes. He or she must be entirely unself-conscious and full of self-confidence, indifferent to the effect he or she is producing, and uninfluenced by others. There must be physical attraction, but beauty is unnecessary.” . . . For what it’s worth. ---
**Author:** ![Larry\_Borgia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larry_borgia/32/156_2.png) [@Larry\_Borgia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larry_Borgia)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 3:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/20 "2003-10-14T03:27:52Z")
Hey **ccwaterback** Thanks! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Kalhoun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/3bc359/32.png) [@Kalhoun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kalhoun)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2003, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929/21 "2003-10-14T13:08:09Z")
I can’t tell you what it is, but I sure know it when I see it! Seriously…I believe it to be an undefineable attribute. It’s more of an aura that a person exudes. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-charisma/206929.md?page=2)