What is geeky and what is non-geeky?

Fair point, it’s just maybe the circles I travel in that seem to have lost this distinction and just consider anyone that “geeks out” to be a nerd or geek. After all, like you point out, it’s possible for people to have some niche subjects that they’re obsessed with and talk way over people’s heads, but otherwise be able to socialize with a random group of people fine. But by the same token, I know some people who don’t seem to have any particularly niche interests that just can’t socialize well at all. For better, I think, it seems to me that our society has gotten away from socially ostracizing someone who likes traditionally nerdy things like sci-fi or videogames and is treating them more and more the same as someone who is obsessed with less traditionally nerdy things like sports.

Well, in general, football fans or the hyper religious have never been thought of as geeky, where the former has, but it still seems to me that that usage to describe certain non-mainstream interests has largely faded, at least in my experience. And, by the same token, I’ve actually started to hear the adoption of nerd/geek by some traditionally non-geek groups. Like, as mentioned upthread by another poster, a football geek would be someone that could name random stats about players from years ago. Or someone that could differentiate a '34 Ford from a '36 from a glance, I’ve heard them called car geeks.

You have interesting lists!

I’m curious about some things on those lists, though. For example, I consider hunting, fishing, camping, and hiking to be quintessentially requiring isolation from (most) others. Many people do these activities in part to “get away”, and many people do them either completely solo or with only one or two other people. So I find it odd that they are on the “non geeky” list, since you say that isolation is indicative of geekery. Also, many video games not only encourage but require interaction with other players - as does something like Dungeons and Dragons.

Interesting point.

It seems that anything that involves interaction with nature is non-geeky by definition, while interaction with technology is more likely to be considered geeky. The geekiest thing in the world is building a robot. The least geeky thing is… probably something involving animals. Buffalo herding?

Hang on, BTW, this doesn’t seem entirely right either. Lepidoptery, for instance, is way into geeky territory.

They can all be done in groups. It’s a general point though. As you note later, geeks can socialize with other geeks.

More specifically, I’d say they exemplify the opposite of geekiness – they’re physical activities that require going outside. Geeky activities tend to be intellectual in nature and involve staying inside.

Manly activities are the opposite of geeky ones in general, too. If there’s any uncertainty you can decide by what women are attracted to, since most women are repelled by geekiness. For example, is a dude working on his car in his garage geeky or not? In most cases that’d be seen as cool, because working on cars is seen as manly. Going out and cataloging butterflies? Not so much. Cataloging poisonous snakes? Now we’re getting somewhere.

A WoW raid is geekiness personified. Video games are axiomatically geeky.

Right. Don’t think about anything. Just drink beer and watch football. That makes you normal.

D&D vs. fantasy football: one is a nerdy pursuit involving hours of poring over stats and constant shuffling of tactics, often to the detriment of career and family. The other is a tabletop game.

Isn’t the stereotype geeky basement dweller watching hours of porn from his 320 GB collection in Cheetos-stained sweatpants, while the “cool guy” actually has a real, live woman?

Do you want to haul out a 300 lb deer alone? All these hobbies can get pretty geeky when they require a several hundred dollar game camera, fish finder, Patagonia tent, or GPS for that extra 0.1% benefit.

Speaking as a straight, old guy: if the topic is something that does NOT increase your attractiveness to girls, it is geeky.

  • Being a guitar player in a band? Clearly not geeky.
  • Getting into the minutiae of guitars - taking them apart, knowing their history, etc.? Very geeky. Nothing like watching a girl’s eyes shut down back in the day as she realized I was more of a guitar geek than a cool-guy rock star.

My family considers me a bit of a geek because of my reading and television view preferences, which include Smithsonian channel, PBS, and subscriptions to Scientific American, SPE, and Nature.

Unless that band is Weezer, They Might Be Giants, Bare Naked Ladies, Rush…

It’s apparent the terms geek & nerd are deeply in flux. Which is another way of saying the meaning is shifting but not everybody has gotten the memo and right now the meaning is all over the place depending on who’s talking and who’s listening.

I think **Blaster Master **did a superb job on what the terms mean to a 20-something when applied to other 20-somethings.

For us 50-somethings the terms still carry a lot more of the old connotations and fewer of the new ones. e.g. …

One can readily be a Star Wars geek. If you saw any episode since its original theatrical run or own any artifacts you’re suspect. OTOH, it’s physically impossible to be an NFL geek. An NFL addict or NFL fanatic? Sure. A boring slobbering NFL monomaniac who won’t shut up about it already? Absolutely. But “NFL geek” is simply a total contradiction in terms. Does not compute, as a certain type of SF geek might say.

The quintessential old-style geek / nerd was somebody who substituted mastery of arcana for typical social skills and interests.

**BlackKnight **does a nice job of applying old-school thinking to a new-school list and highlighting the cognitive disconnect that results.

Note I’m not arguing whether the new or old definitions are somehow better or worse than the other. They’re simply different. And the OP needs to understand that. He really needs two sets of lists, one for old style and one for new. Applying the wrong list to the right people won’t work.
Along the way, I’d like to explore whether geek & nerd have converged or diverged or what. I have always considered nerd a description of a personality type, whereas geek was a description of a behavior pattern. IMO, there was always a lot of overlap; nerdly folks tended towards geeky behaviors. But there have always been exceptions on both sides. Or is that just my personal idiosyncratic take on the words?

I feel like this is as close to a “right answer” as there is. There is no aspect of the human experience that is geek-proof; it’s just that there are a great many people who are really dedicated to no-selling their geekery.

I’m in this school of thought. Geek is the level of interest you take in a subject, not the subject. Example:
I’m not sure what the cool, hip and happening dudes are listening to these days, but let’s say it’s Kayne West. Liking Kayne isn’t geeky, being a huge fan isn’t geeky. Knowing technical details about the production of his albums and being able to recite sales figures, global chart positions and length of stay on the charts of Kayne’s albums and singles is definitely geeky.

Geek is almost like superfan, except geeks are more likely to know facts that even superfans aren’t interested in, especially numerical and technical facts.

Being geeky is geeky.

Look, it doesn’t really matter what your interests are. If you’re a geeky guy, you’re a geeky guy. It’s not like people are going to think Tom Brady or Brad Pitt are big geeks if it suddenly comes out they are into anime and D&D.

BTW, is there such a thing as a geeky girl? I mean, really? “Geeky” does seem to be mostly applied as a judgment on guys, and usually implies diminished masculinity and inability to attract girls. I mean, we all own the term now, in this era of Bill Gates, but the connotations are there.

For girls, geeky seems to be more about a fashion choice than anything else. And being geeky in this sense doesn’t make a girl less attractive. Rather the opposite. Can a girl be involuntarily geeky, as it were, in the way that a guy can?

Yes

You’re bumbling into some pretty sensitive territory here. Women who self identify as geeks are often treated as though they’re all fashion, no substance, or not “real” geeks. There are women who dress in stereotypical geek fashion and call themselves geeks but lack any of the attributes that most other people consider geeky, and in fact often insult those attributes (“OMG, I am such a geek! I like totally am a computer geek. I mean, not programming or gaming or anything lame like that, but I was on Facebook for like three hours the other night”). There are also women who have the passionate obsession with a subject that I associate with being a geek. They hate being lumped in with the first kind.

This starts getting into the so-called “Fake Geek Girl” idea, which is a pretty sexist and destructive trend within the geek subculture. Women who are interested in “traditionally” geeky subjects like science fiction or comic books or video games are often accused of not being “true” geeks, of faking their interest in order to attract and/or manipulate guys. There are, unfortunately, some men who see “geekdom” as an exclusively male domain, almost a refuge, and treat women who want to participate as invaders to be expelled.

It’s ridiculous, because that’s never been true. My own experiences with fandom and even with roleplaying have all included women, going back even to high school. My RPG groups, for example, have usually included girls. Star Trek, in particular, has always had a large contingent of female fans, and the idea of the Trekkie as pathetic social outcast guy has never jibed with my experiences.

But between the Fake Geek Girl idea, Gamergate, and Comic-Con having to establish policies about sexual harrassment of cosplayers, geekdom is often sadly unwelcoming to women.

My specialty! :stuck_out_tongue:

Well, there you go. I guess I wasn’t even aware that “geek” was a subculture.

I was going to say that geeks being unwelcoming to women makes little sense, as the stereotypical geek is unattractive to ladies, and should welcome any female attention. But now I’m starting to realize that I don’t actually know what the heck I’m even talking about.

I once got it into my head that as a teenager, I had been a proto-emo, before emos were invented. As a young man, I was melancholy, brooding and sensitive. It seemed to make sense to me. I recently tried to explain this to a lady of a goth persuasion (as in, she liked to wear black, not an actual member of a Germanic people from Late Antiquity). She gave me a look that made it clear that I didn’t actually have a clue what an emo even is, and even if she explained it, I would probably never get it.

I think I’ll just go back to my usual routine of chasing young people off my lawn.

Well, whole books could be (and have been) written about what constitutes a “subculture.” As a shorthand term, it will do for this discussion without necessarily being scientifically rigorous.

You would think so, but in practice it often doesn’t work that way. There’s a (bizarre, in my opinion) belief that geek activities are a private male domain, and that women who try to get involved are doing so for some nefarious reason–to get male attention, to take part in the cultural cachet that comes with being a geek these days, or some other damn thing. It’s an unfortunate but very real strain within the community. Some guys seem to see themselves as the gatekeepers of geekdom, duty-bound to identify and ostracize people who would “fake” their way in. The reason that someone would want to fake their way in is often obscure. At bottom, it strikes me as one more manifestation of good old fashioned sexism–men telling women that they’re Not Allowed to Do This. It’s just that in this case, “this” happens to be “be a geek.”

There was a long discussion of the “fake geek girl” notion in this thread.

Those guys have gotten more poontang than the U.S. Army.

It’s weird how invisible female fans can be. I’ve seen people online make jokes about how only men watch, say, “Game of Thrones”. However, the demographic split is actually about 60 / 40 - definitely lopsided, but not nearly as much as some people assume. The same is true about Magic: The Gathering (cite) - again, roughly a 60 / 40 split.

My hunch is that a lot of activities, geek-related or not, probably have the same thing happen. There is a real, significant divide in the gender ratio of an activity, which people notice. People being people, they exaggerate and end up believing that the split is closer to 95 / 5.