# What is "high society" today? Does it even exist? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Tags:** movies\ **Created:** [September 17, 2025, 12:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123 "2025-09-17T12:34:09Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 17\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/21 "2025-09-19T00:31:06Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > From the movie and my reading, it feels like there were a lot of very restrictive rules about behavior and entertaining and dress and, well, pretty much every aspect of one’s life The female lead of Downton Abbey, like Winston Churchill’s mother, is a rich American heiress that has married into the British aristocracy. Part of the attraction of the British aristocracy for rich American heiresses like those featured in “Age of Innocence”, was that the stuffy formal restrictions of the British aristocracy at the time were so much looser and freer than the restrictions of the NYC high society they were escaping.. ---
**Author:** ![Melbourne](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b5e925/32.png) [@Melbourne](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Melbourne)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 12:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/22 "2025-09-19T00:37:23Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > At least in the U.S., opera houses and concert halls are nowhere near as stuffy and exclusive as they were a century ago, though you’ll still see a black-tie dress code at the occasional opening night or gala event We’re all getting old, aren’t we? When my mother attended the opera in Chicago almost a hundred years ago, she enjoyed the crowded standing area, surrounded by working-class Italians cheering for the soprano, rather more than the expensive seats my Dad took her too when he was courting. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/23 "2025-09-19T00:43:10Z")
AFAIK, in the Northeast I don’t think there’s much of a formally structured “_Bridgerton_”-style “high society with galas and coming out parties and whatnot. Then again, other than a few wealthy friends, relatives, and classmates I don’t really travel in the same circles as the mega-rich. Maybe the closest thing to that is how the wealthy tend to travel in the same circles and live in the same neighborhoods. Same fancy private schools. Vacation homes in The Hamptons were mentioned. Private social clubs like the NY Athletic Club or Ivy League affiliated clubs like the Harvard Club or Cornell Club still exist. Memberships in country clubs. Stuff like that. Many of these are by invitation only or are prohibitively expensive for most people. I’ve been in some of those places for one reason or another. They tend to strike me as almost anachronistic holdovers from the turn of the last century. ---
**Author:** ![Crafter\_Man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crafter_man/32/458_2.png) [@Crafter\_Man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crafter_Man)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/24 "2025-09-19T01:29:21Z")
I thought it still existed in the higher-class parts of the south (Alabama, Georgia, the Carolinas). ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/25 "2025-09-19T18:07:24Z")
> [@msmith537](#): > > Private social clubs like the NY Athletic Club or Ivy League affiliated clubs like the Harvard Club or Cornell Club still exist. Memberships in country clubs. Stuff like that. Many of these are by invitation only or are prohibitively expensive for most people. I’ve been in some of those places for one reason or another. They tend to strike me as almost anachronistic holdovers from the turn of the last century. I’ve had occasion to go to The Country Club for curling events. Rumor is that they turned Tom Brady down for membership because he’s new money. ---
**Author:** ![2\_More\_Bits](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2_more_bits/32/4148_2.png) [@2\_More\_Bits](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2_More_Bits)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/26 "2025-09-19T18:24:08Z")
[Metropolitan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolitan_(1990_film)) is an excellent and funny (IMO) film from 1990 about debutante season in Manhattan. Perhaps such things have changed in the past few decades. I wouldn’t know. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 6:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/27 "2025-09-19T18:32:54Z")
I liked that along with Whit Stillman’s other films. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/28 "2025-09-19T20:44:56Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > I’ve had occasion to go to The Country Club for curling events. Rumor is that they turned Tom Brady down for membership because he’s new money. You can relax! Brady and Giselle were finally admitted after 2 years. What I read was they turned them down not so much for being “new money” as fears their high profile nature might bring attention to the club. That does beg the question though about what constitutes “high society” in this day and age. [Apparently there are a lot of very exclusive golf clubs that even the very rich have a hard time getting into.](https://www.forbes.com/sites/jimdobson/2025/01/07/the-20-most-exclusive-golf-and-country-clubs-in-america-honored-with-platinum-status/) There are obviously still networks of highly influential and wealthy people and families that attend all sorts of exclusive social events. I would imagine it’s a lot more subdued than the conspicuous opulence of the Gilded Age. Perhaps more like _Billions_ or _Succession_. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 8:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/29 "2025-09-19T20:58:46Z")
> [@2\_More\_Bits](#): > > [Metropolitan](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metropolitan_(1990_film)) is an excellent and funny (IMO) film from 1990 about debutante season in Manhattan. Perhaps such things have changed in the past few decades. I wouldn’t know. Your linked caused me to go down a rabbit hole that led here… > **[International Debutante Ball](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/International_Debutante_Ball)** > > The International Debutante Ball is an invitation-only, formal debutante ball, to officially present well-connected young women from upper-class families to high society. Founded in 1954, it occurs every two years at the Waldorf Astoria Hotel in New York City. > Young women from all over the United States and from around the globe are brought together at the ball and the surrounding parties, including daughters of presidents of the United States, billionaire businessmen, diplomats, nobility, amb... ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/30 "2025-09-19T21:52:40Z")
I was the Houseboy at a sorority at Berkeley back in the 70’s. Went to several debutante balls in San Francisco as a “safe date.” All those folks are still around, they’re just very discrete. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 10:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/31 "2025-09-19T22:05:26Z")
As a kid, I remember reading books that mentioned debutante balls, but it never occurred to me to expect one, nor did I know anyone who had one. I suppose I mentally consigned them to the “olden days” since I know even my mom didn’t have one. ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/32 "2025-09-19T23:15:26Z")
> [@FairyChatMom](#): > > Do people still have huge staffs of servants to tend to their every need? Is livery a thing outside of maybe royal families? After Jeff Bezos bought a $37.5 million waterfront estate in Seattle in 2019, he purchased 3 nearby homes to house his “staff”, so apparently the servant thing is still going on, though Bezos has been accused of not treating some well. [Housekeeper's claims that Jeff Bezos made staff go 'without rest or meal breaks' are without merit, his lawyer says](https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/jeff-bezos-made-housekeepers-go-rest-meal-breaks-work-unsafe-unsanitar-rcna55482) > [@](#): > > Do you personally know anyone who exists in the upper strata, or perhaps do you, and you’re just on the Dope to slum with the riff-raff? I’m descended from shtetl trash, so being on the Dope is a way to hang out with my betters. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 11:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/33 "2025-09-19T23:19:21Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > > [@msmith537](#): > > > > Private social clubs like the NY Athletic Club or Ivy League affiliated clubs like the Harvard Club or Cornell Club still exist. Memberships in country clubs. Stuff like that. Many of these are by invitation only or are prohibitively expensive for most people. I’ve been in some of those places for one reason or another. They tend to strike me as almost anachronistic holdovers from the turn of the last century. > > I’ve had occasion to go to The Country Club for curling events. Rumor is that they turned Tom Brady down for membership because he’s new money. Where are you that there’s only one country club? ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [September 19, 2025, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/34 "2025-09-19T23:55:37Z")
Back when it was founded, it pretty much was the only country club in thr country, for golf, at least. Ever heard of Francis Ouimet, an amateur who stunned the golf world by winning the U. S. Open in 1913, or the 1999 Ryder Cup, when the U.S. team staged a huge comeback to beat the Europeans? Those were both at The Country Club. I’m a little conflicted whenever I go there. It was probably a haven of snobbish exclusivity back in the day, although everyone I’ve met there has been great. I’m only ever there in the winter, though. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 20, 2025, 12:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/35 "2025-09-20T00:01:49Z")
Thank you for the clue. For anyone else wondering, @Robot_Arm is apparently referring to a Brookline Massachusetts place called “[The Country Club](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Country_Club).” Not the least bit confusing to continue with that name. ---
**Author:** ![fedman1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e495f1/32.png) [@fedman1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fedman1)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2025, 12:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/36 "2025-09-21T00:04:39Z")
sorry, “discrete” means ‘individual’, I think you meant “discreet” ---
**Author:** ![sunacres](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/4491bb/32.png) [@sunacres](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sunacres)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2025, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123/37 "2025-09-21T11:15:26Z")
TIL! Thanks, I never realized there were two of them, despite having seen them in context forever. Brains are shit sometimes! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-high-society-today-does-it-even-exist/1023123.md?page=1)