Now I’m starving. And I blame it all on you.
Another free-food related prank:
A former co-worker, JS, was renowned for sniffing out free food. He’d make friends with teams that had frequent potlucks so he could get invited. He’d sniff out catered meetings like a bloodhound to be first in line for the leftovers. He was very accomplished and took great pride in his foraging skills and would often recount his best scores with great humor. He took the natural ribbing that came with his obsession quite well.
JS came back from lunch, KH, a woman on his team, told him that there had been a big catered meeting and there was a ton of leftovers on the breakroom table. He dashed to the room without even removing his coat, to find nothing but a piece of paper on the table. On it, in KH’s writing were the words “Ha ha!” This moved HK into my personal pantheon of prank gods (along with two others) and gave me a set-up to get JS again.
Right away, JS calls to tell me what happened and expecting sympathy. I expected I’d have to wait weeks to do something with this. But my opportunity came about two hours later. I went to the breakroom to get some water; there was a platter of treats sent by a vendor (it was around the holidays): Cookies, candy, and a few packets of flavored hot chocolate mix. It was surrounded by a crowd and by the time I got to it there were a handful of cookies and a packet left. I grabbed a cookie, ambled back to my desk, and called HK. I told her to tell JS about the platter and that he should go see what was left. She did, and I could hear him shouting “No way am I falling for that again!”
About 20 minutes later, JS walked up to my desk holding a hot chocolate packet, with a look on his face like his dog just died.
I’m as Dutch as they come, I keep trying to like that stuff but I can’t. Which is odd, because usually I like that kind of strong, salty flavor in things.
Engineers do have their limits though. The department I work for won’t touch anything too foreign looking. We have a parent company in Japan, and when people come over with Japanese treats, they are regarded with great suspicion. I like them though - but they usually aren’t sugary enough to appease the engineers.
Looking further in the thread, I see that some of you have engineers who will eat vegetables. Not the ones here. Potlucks consist of meat and carbs.
Actually, the sister was from Indiana. The mom lives in San Diego.
Awesome.
43 posts in seven years? Duuude.
“The ratio of people to cake is too big.”-Milton, Office Space. (Anyone else think of that?)
Anyways, you can come to work with me-there’s one woman who works in the gift shop who makes the BEST cookies you’ve ever tasted. And she’s always bringing them in to share with all of the departments.
Lol, believe it or not, we do have non-chain restaurants in Indiana. 
Free food was pretty much the only thing I liked about working in an office. There’s nothing like a nice sugar fix at to make that afternoon crash all the more exhausting. 
I have a coworker that makes cookies like they’re the very turds of god himself.
It’s like watching a science documentary.
When my junk-food junkie husband gets a fit of ambition, he’ll clean out “his” cupboard in the kitchen and I take what he isn’t going to eat to work. Most of the time, even in an office full of women, it gets eaten.
This week’s experiment was:
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Crappy chocolate Easter bunnies (eaten)
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Two cans of Buzz Cola (still present after 9.5 hours)
So, for April Fool’s in my office, I am seriously considering making cupcakes, only instead having them be Meat Cupcakes. This thread gave me the idea.
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
I think I’ve found my Thanksgiving recipe!
I was reading this thread yesterday when I decided to go out back for a smoke break. Sitting on the bench was a piece of wax paper, and on top of that was a brownie. It looked fresh, there was not a bite taken out of it, it was perfectly safe and yummy to eat. Just sitting there, unguarded and unclaimed. For a moment I seriously considered it. Not that I wanted a brownie at that particular moment, but hey, free brownie, right?
Still, there’s just something about free food that’s found outside that’s a little sketchy. Never trust a bench brownie.
An hour later, it was still there. This morning, it’s still there, rain-soaked and untouched. No one will throw it out because maybe its owner will come back to claim it. It’s been passed over by countless humans, birds, squirrels, and maybe even the occasional rat.
Even a hungry rat will not trust a bench brownie.
Wasn’t it the Oprah show or something that did a test on this many years ago, where they provided an office some really weird nasty free food combinations, like hot dogs cut up and mixed with rice, and they all were eaten?
George Costanza would have scooped it up without a second thought.
That’s weird?
Sounds kinda good, actually…
This hungry rat wouldn’t take it because a single brownie on a paper towel looks like someone’s snack. To take it would be rude.
Half a dozen brownies on a plate or in a baking pan look like an Office Offering, and I’d take one.
By the next day, when I was sure the bench brownie didn’t belong to anyone, it’d be just unappetizing enough for me to be able to pass it by.