# What is it about having a big crush on someone

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-about-having-a-big-crush-on-someone/609018>\
**Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\
**Created:** [January 10, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-about-having-a-big-crush-on-someone/609018 "2012-01-10T04:26:25Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 5\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![John\_DiFool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_difool/32/19543_2.png) [@John\_DiFool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_DiFool)\
**Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-about-having-a-big-crush-on-someone/609018/1 "2012-01-10T04:26:25Z")

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…which drives a person towards absolute bugfuck wild-ups-and-downs insanity? Anyone know? I guess it’s been too long since my last one, and I had forgotten how much of a total nut I become.

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**Author:** ![Alice\_The\_Goon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ed8c4c/32.png) [@Alice\_The\_Goon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alice_The_Goon)\
**Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-about-having-a-big-crush-on-someone/609018/2 "2012-01-10T04:30:38Z")

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I think it’s about wanting something and not getting it. When I’m crushing on someone and it’s driving me crazy, I always think, "I’m a grown-ass woman, and I can get anything I want. I might have to work extra hard for it, or get a loan for it, or do whatever it takes to get it, but I have the ability to get whatever it is that I want. And here this is something that I want but can’t have. ☹ " So, essentially, it’s a form of temper tantrum.

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**Author:** ![Invisible\_Chimp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/f05b48/32.png) [@Invisible\_Chimp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Invisible_Chimp)\
**Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-about-having-a-big-crush-on-someone/609018/3 "2012-01-10T04:57:55Z")

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[Limerence](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/limerence) is like an addiction to another person. I imagine it’s like getting high and and withdrawal with any other drug, though I don’t have the experience with drugs to back that up.

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**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\
**Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 7:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-about-having-a-big-crush-on-someone/609018/4 "2012-01-10T07:11:11Z")

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“It was the best of times; it was the worst of times…”

It doesn’t always end all messed up. Sometimes the crush is reciprocated and two people can spend a wonderful time together, for awhile. Because, by definition, the word “crush” means short-term. (To me.)

If it leads to respect and affection, tho, from like to love, that’s a whole 'nother story.

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**Author:** ![Reply](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reply/32/15952_2.png) [@Reply](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reply)\
**Post date:** [January 10, 2012, 9:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-about-having-a-big-crush-on-someone/609018/5 "2012-01-10T09:05:14Z")

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Eh, species that thought about this too rationally probably didn’t breed much.