The name I use for such places in the generic is taken from a statshot in The Onion: “J.P. McPickleshitter’s”.
If you prefer, the same statshot also mentioned “Luigi McClanahan von Leningrad Standing Horse’s Omni-Ethnic Sub Pub”.
Macaroni Grill
Spoons
Red Robin
Ugh! All cut from the same shitty cloth. When one travels a lot on business, one tends to eat at way too many of these shit holes due to the poor taste of co-workers who think tandoori or Thai food is too exotic. I am in Taiwan on business right now and there’s a fucking TGI Friday’s practically next door to my hotel. I ate there on my last trip out here. My American co-worker’s palate can’t handle the Chinese food which is excellent by the way. TGIF is just as bland and generic here.
Haj
I absolutely HATE Applebee’s. The one and only time I’ve been there, I went with a group of 6 friends for lunch. The 7 of us were seated promptly and our drinks were brought out, no problem. The waitress took our order when she brought our drinks to us.
After about 30 minutes, I signaled for the waitress and pointed to a sign on the table that said very clearly, “If your food isn’t done in 14 minutes, the bill’s on us,” and asked politely where our food was. She told me that the sign applies to parties of 6 or less, and it would take us a little longer since there were 7 people.
Fine, we all thought. Sounds reasonable, since we’re a big group.
An hour after that, we still didn’t have our food and all our drinks were empty. A party of 4 had been seated behind us about 30 minutes prior to this and they didn’t have their food yet either. They asked their waiter about the 14 minute guarantee, and he promptly told them that it only applied to parties of 3 or less.
WTF??? I flagged down a waitress (not ours who was nowhere to be seen) and demanded to see the manager. He came out and I told him what we had been told and what I heard from the other table. I also told him we had been sitting there for 90 minutes with nothing but our drinks.
He apologized profusely and promised us all free dessert. Our food finally came out another 30 minutes after he left our table, and it was decent; certainly not worth the extremely long wait.
My friends wanted their free dessert, so we went ahead and each ordered an item. It was another hour before we saw our desserts. When our bills were handed out to us, not one of the desserts were free. The manager was called over again, and it took him 45 minutes to fix the damn tickets for us.
As a nice gesture, he also took off the prices of our drinks. :rolleyes:
I’ve lived in the US for three years now, and have never set foot inside any of these places. Of course, as a vegetarian, i tend to be a little cautious about where i eat.
And from what i hear, even if i weren’t a vege, these would still be good places to avoid.
Oh, wow. I had no idea those were not local. Damn, it’s like finding out a local murderer is really a tri-State serial killer…
The last time I ate at Chili’s, I was in DFW. The time before that, the St. Louis airport. It must say something about most airports that Chili’s is about the best food I can get.
I haven’t had a bad experience at Applebee’s, that I can remember. It’s fairly mediocre, but never evil.
Pizzaria Uno, however… I love that place, and grew up on their pizza, but man, they don’t have a good record with getting my order right. I went in time before last and ordered a regular Pepperoni, since I wanted to take some home. Waitress brought an individual, and after I called her on it (politely) she apologized profusely, let me eat the individual, gave me a regular in a box ready to go, and only charged me for the individual. Very cool, no problem, we all make mistakes and I got a bunch of free pizza.
But I went in on Sunday and the same thing happened, different waiter. “Oh, yeah, I screwed that up, I’ll be right back.” (Takes away pizza) “Oh, uh, I entered an individual since, you know, it’s just you and you don’t look like you could eat the whole thing.” (!?!) “Oh, okay, here, have this one and do you still want the regular? Okay, well, I’ll just charge you for the regular.” “Oh, you want it in a box? Well, okay.” Finally the manager came by and apologized, and he had to ring up my check twice and finally figured out that it’d be best for customer goodwill to charge me for the individual. Oy. Takeout only now from there.
And Anth, I wouldn’t stick Houlihan’s in with the rest, myself. They’re pretty good, with good food and an upscale atmosphere. They were founded on the Plaza in Kansas City, actually.
The only time I went to Applebee’s the waitress kept forgetting what I was drinking and screwed up the order too. One of my friends with me ended up getting 3 glasses of regular tea when she had ordered raspberry. And we had to flag her down anytime we needed anything.
That night we didn’t leave a tip, something I almost never, ever do.
I don’t live far from Applebee’s corporate headquarters in Overland Park, Kansas. There are Applebee’s all over Kansas City. The service … eeh. Yeah, I experience the disappearing waitress even here. Sit at the bar, and occasionally I’ll experience the disappearing bartender; they’re usually off visiting friends, or co-workers on break at a table in some far corner of the place. For the “P.J. McGillicuddy’s Food and Drink Factory” style places, I usually go to Chili’s.
Houlihan’s is going upscale. The restaurant that replaced the original Houlihan’s in Country Club Plaza is within walking distance of my house. It lookes like the type of high end “new American grill” restaurant seen on the pages of Cigar Aficionado magazine … very nice, with no pseudo-nostalgic crap like gas station signs and farm implements on the walls.
Would you believe, I’ve mever been in an Applebees though we’ve had one for a couple of years. Probably never will go there now after reading this thread. 
We have a restaurant, don’t know if it’s a chain or not, called “Wood’ys” (yes, the apostrophe is in the wrong place) which has a kind of aging surfer motif. The wife and I go there often because even though the prices are somewhat high, they have great service and great food.
It seems to me after eating out a lot, the best places are usually local, non-chain type places. Trouble is. if you’re new in town, you may or may not hit a good one. I make it a habit to ask at the hotel and usually I’ll find something somewhat decent. Sometimes exquisite, mostly adequate. YMMV.
I only gone to an Applebee’s once in my life. But i’ve never eaten at one. No to have eaten the waitress would have had to return with our food. After waiting almost 45 minutes we concluded that was never going to happen. We left and have never returned.
The lack of a comma totally changes the meaning of this sentence. In a good way.
Haj
My biggest complaint is the twinkly sparkly bubbly fake attitude you get. Mr. Singular and I went in after spending 18 hours packing and cleaning for a move. We were hungry, exhausted and not a little surly. Up pops Suzie Sunshine who is just so goddamed happy to gush about today’s special and chirp “I see somebody who could really use a Summer Squeeze to chase those grumpys away!” We managed to not throttle her, but we put up with her for the whole meal because we were too hungry to go somewhere else. Since we got the same routine from the hostess on the way in and on the way out, we crossed this place off our list. Just take the order, bring the food, be polite and get out of my face. I’m here to eat with my companion, not chat with the waitress.
But you see, they used to have great food. They used to have a loose-meat Irish-style burger that was a “10/10”, and I kept a soft spot in my heart for them for a long time. Then my sister and I ate at one a year ago, and it seemed indistinguishable from any of the other deep-fried restaurants aforementioned. (“Like some cheese on that onion blossom? Chicken-esque fingers? How about a vodka cinnamon mudslide?”)
Maybe the original one in the Plaza is better. 
Yayyyyyyyyyyy! I couldn’t have said it better, myself. 
I’m still waiting for my $10.00 gift certificate from Applebees for forwarding their email to ten of my former best friends
I had bad food three times in a row at Applebee’s. The first time, overdone chicken planks/fingers. The second time, one of the “Sizzling” pan steaks, that sizzled so much, it stuck to the pan. The third time, underdone chicken planks/fingers. After that, I made a solemn vow not to eat in Applebee’s again, and so far I haven’t.
It seems across the nation, I have yet to have anything better than mediocre service and food from Applebee’s. (The worst was getting one of those sizzling platters… and having so much salty seasoning on it, it was nearly inedible.) Also, for the price of their food, I can head out to an all-you-can-eat Chinese buffet, get better quality food and better service.
So that’s what I do: I’m happy because I get food when I want it, as much as I want, I get drink refills in a timely fashion, I get in and out quicker, and I usually spend less money doing so.
Applebee’s can, for all I care, stuff stuffed gerbils soaked in kerosene up their collective asses and set them on fire.
<< I sense a disturbance in the Force. >>
Go to Cracker Barrel. Go Directly to Cracker Barrel. Do NotRuby Tuesdays Pass Applebees. Do not waste 200 minutes there.
I prefer what Dave Barry calls such restaurants - “Fourteen Proctologists in need of a tax shelter”