# What is it with men and sexual abuse of children? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 18, 2012, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595 "2012-07-18T04:01:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/201 "2012-08-20T15:45:31Z")
From **women** as well as **men**. Is there _any_ chance you might try to think rationally about this? There is potential for harm in over-reaction as well. I hope you don’t have sons and infect them with your beliefs about male sexuality, but then again, it wouldn’t likely to be any picnic to be your hysterically overprotected daughter, either. ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/202 "2012-08-20T15:51:55Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > You are so right in that most child sexual abuse is committed by a family member or someone that the child knows. > > You mentioned that only a “tiny minority” of men are abusers. How do we know that for sure? How do we know how many haven’t been caught? And with those that have not offended, how do we know that they’re not thinking about it? > > You’re calling it “responsible, reasonable parenting”. I’m calling it being proactive. Either way, aren’t we both saying THE POTENTIAL OF ABUSE EXISTS?? Mostly you’re a moron. Paranoid moron maybe, but a moron nonetheless. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/203 "2012-08-20T16:21:38Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > When did this become about not helping a child in an emergency? That’s the likely outcome of escalating the assumption that men are by default, paedophiles and rapists. At the very least, it will mean that harm comes to vulnerable people during the interval in which the man agonises over how to help without appearing sinister. ---
**Author:** ![Freakenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b782af/32.png) [@Freakenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freakenstein)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/204 "2012-08-20T16:53:28Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > When did this become about not helping a child in an emergency? It happened when Your kind of witch hunters started to rage. Somewhere in the 1990’s I guess ( maybe that case in Belgium caused it? ). It’s a real phenomenon and I believe it’s getting worse. In post #145 is My experience with this, it’s been years and it still bothers Me. I still don’t know for sure if that kid is dead or alive. And I find very little consolation from the fact that it was a boy, who - according to You - would have grown up to be a child abuser. I’m absolutely sure that there really are many cases when some kid has died because the only person around to help was a male who was too scared to go near a kid. Who knows it later, the kid died and there was no-one else than that guy who won’t tell. So next time when a drowned kid is found somewhere, think about it. Was there some guy who got scared and fled the scene ( and later killed himself for feeling too much guilt over it ). Also there was a summer helper in My working place, a female (16-18 years old, dunno, never asked and NEVER TOUCHED HER ). She told about her work in previous summer in a kindergarten. There was this four ( ! ) years old boy who was beating everybody and when she tried to make him stop, he screamed that he’s going to get her arrested for abusing him if she takes one more step. So it’s no just males who are in danger for Your kind of paranoids. But that kid probably will be an abuser when he grows up 'cause his head was filled with thoughts of abuse - nice job, momma… ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/205 "2012-08-20T17:18:16Z")
If I KEEP IT IN MY PANTS, how do I take a piss? ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/206 "2012-08-20T17:25:14Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > If I KEEP IT IN MY PANTS, how do I take a piss? Must the SDMB teach EVERYTHING? ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/207 "2012-08-20T17:31:05Z")
> [@Vita\_Beata](#): > > Must the SDMB teach EVERYTHING? Well, now I’m all wet. Haven’t raped yet today, though. ---
**Author:** ![Morgenstern](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@Morgenstern](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Morgenstern)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/208 "2012-08-20T17:33:01Z")
I thought we already had Rape Month this year? Did I miss another announcement? ---
**Author:** ![LadyMadonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb8c5e/32.png) [@LadyMadonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMadonna)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/209 "2012-08-20T17:41:32Z")
> [@runner pat](#): > > So what’s your solution? Lock up all men for life? It’s the only way to be sure. I’ve already stated some possible solutions in an earlier post. ---
**Author:** ![Miller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/miller/32/481_2.png) [@Miller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Miller)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/210 "2012-08-20T17:47:50Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Now go fuck yourself sideways with a sharpened cypress. Thank you. [Moderating] Telling other posters to fuck themselves is a violation of the Pit’s language rules. Please avoid doing this in the future. No warning issued. [/Moderating] ---
**Author:** ![LadyMadonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb8c5e/32.png) [@LadyMadonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMadonna)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/211 "2012-08-20T17:48:47Z")
> [@Troppus](#): > > LadyMadonna, have you ever heard of a TLC show called Toddlers and Tiaras? Which gender is most responsible for tarting up little girls by painting Vegas showgirl make-up on their faces, teasing their hair and encouraging them to behave seductively? Which gender paints up toddlers to resemble miniature, sexy women? And the network responsible for bringing footage of this circus to the masses, any blood on its hands? And what of the numerous commercial sponsors of this popular program? Are any of the parties responsible female? Do you feel that this program contributes to mixed signals that could lead to the sexualization of kids? That show infuriates me. It should not be on the air, and while children’s pageants need not be abolished completely, the rules and regulations need a serious revamping. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/212 "2012-08-20T17:49:55Z")
> [@kayaker](#): > > If I KEEP IT IN MY PANTS, how do I take a piss? Depends. ---
**Author:** ![iiandyiiii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/iiandyiiii/32/7924_2.png) [@iiandyiiii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iiandyiiii)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/213 "2012-08-20T17:51:47Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > I’ve already stated some possible solutions in an earlier post. And you’ve ignored the refutations of your ridiculous “solutions”. ---
**Author:** ![Who\_me\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/958977/32.png) [@Who\_me\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Who_me_1)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/214 "2012-08-20T17:55:31Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > I’ve already stated some possible solutions in an earlier post. No, you haven’t. You’ve suggested women supervising men. Women have been known to molest children too, so now you’ve just run out of people to do the supervising. ---
**Author:** ![LadyMadonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb8c5e/32.png) [@LadyMadonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMadonna)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/215 "2012-08-20T18:03:04Z")
> [@Freakenstein](#): > > Didn’t read much of this, but I have something to say. > I hate children, always had, always will. They are noisy and greedy, ill-mannered psychos. The last thing I would do is to touch a kid in ‘that way’. > So this is what happened: I was biking on the countryside when I saw this kid maybe three-four years old on a lawn, no shirt, just shorts. No adults around and there was a few meters to a road, no ditch between. It occurred to Me that this toddler might easily wander off to the road and get run over by a car. So what to do? I got the hell out of there, no-one is going to see Me approaching a half-naked little kid. > It was a damn nightmare to wait the next day’s newspapers to see if there was a story about a little kid killed by a car. > > So Ladymadonna and all Your kind, with that attitude You’re not helping anybody. Wow, a damn nightmare to wait until the next day’s newspapers? You really let your imagination take over that day, didn’t you? If the kid was on a lawn, I assume there was a house. You could have simply knocked on their door to alert the family or caretaker, and not had to approach the kid at all. Just my opinion. ---
**Author:** ![Freakenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b782af/32.png) [@Freakenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freakenstein)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/216 "2012-08-20T18:08:09Z")
Hotdiggity, I got it! Had to log in just to ask this. And **LadyMadonna** , don’t You even think to have dishonesty to ignore this. So: if the vast majority of men want to abuse children, then why it is considered abuse at all? Who caused that way of thinking, why isn’t it considered just as innocent as having a doughnut? 50 % of men and many thousands of years of patriarchate should have done the trick. Thank You for Your answer. I’m most eager to read it. Btw You’re an idiot. ---
**Author:** ![Troppus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a587f6/32.png) [@Troppus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Troppus)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/217 "2012-08-20T18:10:22Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > That show infuriates me. It should not be on the air, and while children’s pageants need not be abolished completely, the rules and regulations need a serious revamping. Okay. So we agree that the women associated with that show are behaving in ways that are counterproductive to healthy social relationships between kids and adults? We can try a similar example if we compile a list of female teachers recently convicted of sexual abuse, but it isn’t necessary to derail your rant with evidence that counters your POV, since all of us are aware that damning men is misguided and will cause more harm than good. So rage on, sister, and deal with the scorn your OP deserves. Or you could, instead, explore reasonable, feasible methods of teaching safety to kids. ---
**Author:** ![LadyMadonna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/eb8c5e/32.png) [@LadyMadonna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LadyMadonna)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/218 "2012-08-20T18:10:36Z")
> [@Miller](#): > > [Moderating] > Telling other posters to fuck themselves is a violation of the Pit’s language rules. Please avoid doing this in the future. > > No warning issued. > [/Moderating] Not to mention the sharpened cypress! Besides, it’s plain damn rude behavior. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/219 "2012-08-20T18:14:37Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > We could start with some simple things, such as no longer allowing male coaches, male teachers (etc) to be alone with our children. If the kids’ activities involve sleepovers, there should be sufficient female chaperones. Don’t allow children to visit the “nice old couple down the street” without supervision. And mothers need to be a hell of a lot more vigilant than they are now. Especially about what goes on in her own home. Holy. Fucking. Shit. You are completely fucking dangerously insane. ---
**Author:** ![Freakenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b782af/32.png) [@Freakenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freakenstein)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/220 "2012-08-20T18:19:59Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > I assume there was a house. Yes, there was a house further but to get there I should have gone not only towards the kid but very close too. Unless I’d have gone around through the shrubs - to an empty looking house like a burglar or somebody who’s checking is there anybody to see a kidnapping. And that time the kid could have been run over. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595.md?page=12)