# What is it with men and sexual abuse of children? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 18, 2012, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595 "2012-07-18T04:01:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/241 "2012-08-20T19:05:25Z")
> [@Who\_me\_1](#): > > I’m going to assume the bolded part should have a NOT somewhere in it. Maybe. Her persuasive rhetoric might have softened my previous hard-line stand against pre-emptive punishment. ---
**Author:** ![Azeotrope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/0ea827/32.png) [@Azeotrope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Azeotrope)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/242 "2012-08-20T19:24:38Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > Okay, I’m done with this. Most people recognize that child sexual abuse is a serious problem. But too many posters on this thread are more driven to amuse others (and themselves) with their creative banter, than to address possible resolutions. > > Hope you all have a good week, and hope your children stay safe. Stay classy, lady. ---
**Author:** ![Vita\_Beata](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@Vita\_Beata](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Vita_Beata)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/243 "2012-08-20T19:37:57Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > Okay, I’m done with this. Most people recognize that child sexual abuse is a serious problem. But too many posters on this thread are more driven to amuse others (and themselves) with their creative banter, than to address possible resolutions. > > Hope you all have a good week, and hope your children stay safe. LadyMadonna doesn’t understand that us female posters are already doing all the driving we can do to supervise those males with creative banter. That keeps the men focused, occupied, and the children safe. 😃 Yes, any resolutions arrived on a message board will certainly make the world safer against child molestation. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Freakenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b782af/32.png) [@Freakenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freakenstein)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/244 "2012-08-20T19:37:58Z")
> [@Great\_Antibob](#): > > Substitute “brown” or “black” for “man”, and we come around to racial profiling. I think this summarizes her perfectly. If she would be a male ( especially in a Muslim country ) I’m sure ‘LordSomething’ would think all women are ready to prostitute themselves at the very moment when their guardians blink. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/245 "2012-08-20T20:28:09Z")
> [@Freakenstein](#): > > I think this summarizes her perfectly. If she would be a male ( especially in a Muslim country ) I’m sure ‘LordSomething’ would think all women are ready to prostitute themselves at the very moment when their guardians blink. They aren’t? (crosses United Arab Emirates off the vacation itinerary) ---
**Author:** ![Battle\_Pope](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4bbf92/32.png) [@Battle\_Pope](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Battle_Pope)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/246 "2012-08-20T22:19:50Z")
I used to work with teenagers in an outdoor ed. capacity. I made very sure that I was never alone with any of them just to protect myself from the attitudes of people like the OP. Quite often the kids would want to have a private chat about something and we had would just go sit under a tree where everyone could see us. Of all the kids I have dealt with some of the most screwed up were the ones that were emotionally or psychologically abused by their mothers. A number thats far, far higher than those kids sexually abused by their fathers. ---
**Author:** ![Yeticus\_Rex](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/a698b9/32.png) [@Yeticus\_Rex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yeticus_Rex)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 11:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/247 "2012-08-20T23:33:41Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > While I understand the source of your anger, it is misdirected in this instance. And definitely uncalled for. I never stated that women don’t abuse (or assist in allowing abuse). But it’s a well known fact that the vast majority of sexual abusers of children are male. > [@LadyMadonna](#): > > t > Thanks, but I don’t consider statistics from 1998 to be relevant. > [@LadyMadonna](#): > > I think steps need to be taken to protect the children BEFORE sexual abuse occurs, not AFTER. A previous poster stated that proactive steps were being taken in her hometown, (actions I applaud.) She considered them to be a huge inconvenience, but here again, if one of her kids is ever subjected to such abuse, she will feel differently. > > We could start with some simple things, such as no longer allowing male coaches, male teachers (etc) to be alone with our children. If the kids’ activities involve sleepovers, there should be sufficient female chaperones. Don’t allow children to visit the “nice old couple down the street” without supervision. And mothers need to be a hell of a lot more vigilant than they are now. Especially about what goes on in her own home. > [@LadyMadonna](#): > > Sounds promising, but I find it hard to believe. > [@LadyMadonna](#): > > No, haven’t met him and don’t care to. Dealing with real life is challenging enough. > [@LadyMadonna](#): > > You are so right in that most child sexual abuse is committed by a family member or someone that the child knows. > > You mentioned that only a “tiny minority” of men are abusers. How do we know that for sure? How do we know how many haven’t been caught? And with those that have not offended, how do we know that they’re not thinking about it? > > You’re calling it “responsible, reasonable parenting”. I’m calling it being proactive. Either way, aren’t we both saying THE POTENTIAL OF ABUSE EXISTS?? > [@LadyMadonna](#): > > I’ve already stated some possible solutions in an earlier post. > [@LadyMadonna](#): > > Wow, a damn nightmare to wait until the next day’s newspapers? You really let your imagination take over that day, didn’t you? If the kid was on a lawn, I assume there was a house. You could have simply knocked on their door to alert the family or caretaker, and not had to approach the kid at all. Just my opinion. > [@LadyMadonna](#): > > Not to mention the sharpened cypress! Besides, it’s plain damn rude behavior. > [@LadyMadonna](#): > > Yes, I have. And I quote myself: > > “We could start with some simple things, such as no longer allowing male coaches, male teachers (etc) to be alone with our children. If the kids’ activities involve sleepovers, there should be sufficient female chaperones. Don’t allow children to visit the “nice old couple down the street” without supervision. And mothers need to be a hell of a lot more vigilant than they are now. Especially about what goes on in her own home.” > > We’ve covered this topic of female abusers. It’s a known fact that men far outnumber women in the sexual abuse department. > [@LadyMadonna](#): > > Okay, I’m done with this. Most people recognize that child sexual abuse is a serious problem. But too many posters on this thread are more driven to amuse others (and themselves) with their creative banter, than to address possible resolutions. > > Hope you all have a good week, and hope your children stay safe. Just wanted to get it all condensed to see what we are dealing with here. If you, **LadyMadonna** , took child sexual abuse real seriously, you wouldn’t just focus on men as potential abusers, you would focus on men AND women and other children (bullies). I don’t care what statistical ratios you use (or what’s actually factual), you would still use a keen eye regardless of who they are. Otherwise, you really ARE NOT trying to decrease child sexual abuse overall, instead you are just stereotyping men primarily, and focus on child safety secondarily. Therefore, you are not what you claim to be…but I know almost all the Dopers know who you are. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 11:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/248 "2012-08-20T23:53:28Z")
You know, since a good 85% of perpetrators of Munchausen syndrome by proxy are women, I propose that no woman be allowed to cook for a child without being supervised by a man. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 11:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/249 "2012-08-20T23:55:10Z")
I propose that no less than 100 Adults must be in the room any time a child is present. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2012, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/250 "2012-08-20T23:59:32Z")
> [@Chimera](#): > > I propose that no less than 100 Adults must be in the room any time a child is present. So you obviously don’t care about the horrors of crowd abuse. Typical. ---
**Author:** ![Bouncer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/9d8465/32.png) [@Bouncer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bouncer)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/251 "2012-08-21T00:43:01Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > I can’t personally see how teaching boys that they are all barely-contained sexual predators likely to rape and molest girls/younger boys the second that no one is watching them could possibly go wrong. Actually I think it’s an awesome idea. It creates it’s own legal defense of “I couldn’t help myself”. Bammo now we can rape and plunder at will as long as there aren’t enough women/guards around to keep an eye on us all! Regards, -Bouncer- PS: OP is a troll. No doubt about it. ---
**Author:** ![Kenm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/bc79bd/32.png) [@Kenm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kenm)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/252 "2012-08-21T01:11:20Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > People can avoid addressing this issue all they want. Wait until it happens to your kid, or your niece or nephew. You’ll be feeling differently about it then. A witchhunt. [**Drumhead**](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Drumhead) McCarthyism. ---
**Author:** ![PatriotX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/c4cdca/32.png) [@PatriotX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatriotX)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/253 "2012-08-21T02:31:11Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > Still reeling from the charges placed against Jerry Sandusky for child rape and sexual abuse, I find myself wondering when something will be done to help protect the children more. Are things getting to the point where male adults cannot be left alone with children, (male or female), anywhere at anytime?? Are schools and organizations (such as Boy Scouts) going to have to hire female security guards to protect the children from teachers, scout leaders and other men in positions of authority? > > What the hell is it with men wanting to sexually abuse kids anyway??? I don’t get it and it sickens me. I have been willy-nilly abusing men women and children right left and center ever since I turned 18. But now that I know it bothers you, I guess I’ll stop. But before that, yes, no one could be left alone with any one of us. Insatiable penes and all that. [no band names] ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/254 "2012-08-21T02:37:27Z")
Don’t blame me. I do everything I can to AVOID being near little kids. ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/255 "2012-08-21T03:13:37Z")
And I’m off kid duty, I refuse to identify myself as an adult… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 9:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/256 "2012-08-21T09:16:53Z")
> [@Bouncer](#): > > Actually I think it’s an awesome idea. It creates it’s own legal defense of “I couldn’t help myself”. Bammo now we can rape and plunder at will as long as there aren’t enough women/guards around to keep an eye on us all! And of course you could sue them for failing to stop you. ---
**Author:** ![Freakenstein](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/b782af/32.png) [@Freakenstein](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freakenstein)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/257 "2012-08-21T13:50:23Z")
In future I’m going to be even more careful avoiding kids, like those sensible fathers who are later called distant and unemotional.[http://http://www.star-telegram.com/2012/08/20/4194124/dna-clears-inmate-of-tarrant-rape.html](http://http://www.star-telegram.com/2012/08/20/4194124/dna-clears-inmate-of-tarrant-rape.html) Sure Wiggings will soon be released, but he lost his years from 25 to 48 in jail. And because it was a simple mistake without tampering the evidence, he probably won’t get any compensation. And people like **LadyMadonna** think that no smoke without fire so he will be marked man forever. BTW **LadyMadonna** , what’s Your take on black men and white women in Deep South? ---
**Author:** ![2gigch1](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/2gigch1/32/3313_2.png) [@2gigch1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/2gigch1)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 4:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/258 "2012-08-21T16:10:33Z")
I find it interesting to compare the username of the op in any thread to the nature of that person’s arguments. In this case the op chose the title **LadyMadonna** , which I assume refers to the Beatles song of the same title. Obviously I could be wrong, but it appears logical so I’ll run with it for awhile. The lyrics to the song are thus: \*Lady Madonna, children at your feet. Wonder how you manage to make ends meet. Who finds the money? when you pay the rent? Did you think that money was heaven sent? Friday night arrives without a suitcase. Sunday morning creep in like a nun. Mondays child has learned to tie his bootlace. See how they run. Lady Madonna, baby at your breast. Wonder how you manage to feed the rest. See how they run. Lady Madonna, lying on the bed, Listen to the music playing in your head. Tuesday afternoon is never ending. Wednesday morning papers didn’t come. Thursday night you stockings needed mending. See how they run. Lady Madonna, children at your feet. Wonder how you manage to make ends meet.\* Reading the discussion on the website I grabbed these from there is a debate as to the nature of this commentary. Some thought the song was about a prostitute or welfare mom, another cited a radio program where Paul McCartney claimed it was a song written to the wives and sweethearts of band members who complain about the band being on the road. Either way, what I wonder is what did the song say to the op which caused her to choose this username. Examining the 29 posts (so far) made by this user as of the time of this writing, her topics of interest started with beginning a thread about [Wildfire Technology](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=657781) on July 7 (several posts), then a quick note in [Fridge Cleanup](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=657782) ([same day](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15247538#post15247538)), then [Copper for Chronic Pain](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=658858), then finally starting this thread on the 18th of July. One post I found interesting is [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15283328#post15283328) followed by [this one](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=15284135#post15284135) in another thread prior to starting this Pit thread. My feeling is these posts indicate a familiarity with the SDMB that seems excessive for a July 2012 join date, and yet they appear to act as an attempt to setup the appearance of a newcomer. Also the op appears quicker to start a thread rather join other discussions. A final quick search on Google and Wiki don’t ring up any other obvious reasons for the use of the name **LadyMadonna**. One could take something from the use of the honorific **Lady** coupled with statements that ‘all men should be supervised’ to point to the plot of a bad BDSM movie plot line but that was just a passing thought. Having firsthand experience with a woman who wanted to blame all her mental illness on the world in general, I have followed this thread with keen interest. Trying to understand and learn from the experiences I had, this thread and this poster caught my attention. Unfortunately, I am having trouble believing this op and thread are real. It has been very amusing to read, so that’s a plus. In any event my BS meter is pegged, and all of the above rant is why. ---
**Author:** ![Chimera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Chimera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chimera)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 4:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/259 "2012-08-21T16:16:55Z")
**2gigch1** , I dunno, this would not be the first “all men are evil” poster we’ve had around here and it certainly isn’t the first “all men are child molesters” post/thread. ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2012, 4:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/260 "2012-08-21T16:37:41Z")
> [@Ponch8](#): > > Don’t blame me. I do everything I can to AVOID being near little kids. Agreed. I mean, I’m a woman, but still. Every time I see the little hooligans I am grateful once again I made the right decision not to have any. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595.md?page=14)