# What is it with men and sexual abuse of children? **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 18, 2012, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595 "2012-07-18T04:01:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/e19adc/32.png) [@6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/6ImpossibleThingsB4Breakfast)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/41 "2012-07-18T13:03:50Z")
> [@Paranoid\_Randroid](#): > > Pedophilia’s just easier. _Petorfeelya_’s even easier. And it gives the kiddies an inclusive choice. Let them know _they_ can decide. In my day they were just ‘dirty old men.’ Who knew? When a clean one asked me to suck his cock for a dollar I was one happy ‘Bob a Job’ Brownie! ---
**Author:** ![Anaamika](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Anaamika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anaamika)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/42 "2012-07-18T13:09:53Z")
> [@voltaire](#): > > I’m surprised to be the first one to point this out, but **no** , things **are not** getting to the point. The situation has always happened since the beginning of time, and things have been slowly improving, not getting worse. > > It only \*seems \*like it’s getting worse because our society has started to refuse to tolerate it anymore. Because of that, when molestation happens, it’s a lot more likely to become public and be addressed, as opposed to in the past, where it was ignored and swept under the rug. > > This is not some new phenomenon - the further back you go in history, it’s almost certain that the rate of child molestation was much higher than it is now. Things are getting much better than they used to be, now that people don’t willfully ignore the problem out of a misguided sense of propriety and embarrassment, and children are taught what is, and isn’t, acceptable behavior from adults. Agreed, absolutely. As horrifying as the news is, think about this. _We hear about it._ It wasn’t that long ago that this kind of stuff would never be bandied about and no one would ever know. Our parents’ generation. Hell, I just found out one of my high school friends was molested and then silenced…her own parents urged her not to talk about it. I’m 36, I’m not exactly old. Even look at the Sandusky case. The molestation has always happened and perhaps will always happen. Oftimes I think the silencing is far, far worse. That leaves the child with the idea that what happened was not only wrong but also shameful and dirty, and since no one pointed at the accuser, somehow THEIR fault, leaving them to feel shameful and dirty. We don’t need to segregate the adult men, 99% of whom have never done anything wrong, from the children. We need to teach the children, as said above, what is and isn’t acceptable, and we need to value their testimony when they speak up. Not sweep it under the rug like various large scale worldwide organizations. And I don’t just mean the Catholic Church (although because of their power obviously they are huge offenders). There is a huge lawsuit either in the works or just finished regarding the Hare Krishna temple. Satya Sai Baba, the so-called saint, had heavy allegations of child abuse leveled against him. Like the Catholic Church, the core believers just ignore it. That must be rectified. Not keeping men away from children! ---
**Author:** ![dngnb8](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/977dab/32.png) [@dngnb8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dngnb8)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/43 "2012-07-18T13:16:45Z")
NVM. Its been said here ad nauseum. OP’s ears whistle when the wind blows ---
**Author:** ![FoieGrasIsEvil](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/foiegrasisevil/32/16638_2.png) [@FoieGrasIsEvil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FoieGrasIsEvil)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/44 "2012-07-18T13:21:11Z")
Oh, **OP** …when I think about you I molest myself. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/45 "2012-07-18T13:23:40Z")
Blatant trollery. I’m glad this OP got the response it deserved. (And yeah, bitches be crazy.) ---
**Author:** ![bucketybuck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/898d66/32.png) [@bucketybuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bucketybuck)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 1:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/46 "2012-07-18T13:27:46Z")
Lady Madonna, children at your feet wonder how you manage to keep it discreet, Who finds the children, molested in your tent Did you think they’re only molested by men Friday night arrives stuffed in a suitcase Sunday morning then you’ve had your fun Mondays child learned to untie his bootlegs See how they run… ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/47 "2012-07-18T14:18:37Z")
One of the pleasures of the Dope is how you guys can spin comedy gold out of a dimwit drive-by thread posting. Comedy gold, I tell ya! ---
**Author:** ![Truman\_Burbank](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@Truman\_Burbank](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Truman_Burbank)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/48 "2012-07-18T14:40:51Z")
Coach: My record? Whatdaya want to talk about my record for? I did my time. And she looked 15! Well, 13 anyway… - “Basketball Jones” ---
**Author:** ![Clothahump](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/51bf81/32.png) [@Clothahump](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Clothahump)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/49 "2012-07-18T14:46:28Z")
> [@LadyMadonna](#): > > What the hell is it with men wanting to sexually abuse kids anyway??? I don’t get it and it sickens me. Well, women ain’t spotless either. Remember Mary Kay Letourneau? There’s apparently has a [herd of like-minded women](http://www.zimbio.com/The+50+Most+Infamous+Female+Teacher+Sex+Scandals/) as well. Don’t single out men. Instead, ask why so many ADULTS have no self-control when it comes to kids. And that’s what it boils down to. Look, I’m in my 60s. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t find myself checking out some good looking young babe in a store or restaurant and when I get closer, I see that she’s jailbait. That’s normal - she’s past puberty and Mother Nature is letting all the guys know that she’s sexually viable. But am I gonna make a move on her? Not no how, not no way - that’s called self-control. And yet there are guys older than her would make the move. Which is why the only thing I will do is smile and hand her a card good for a month’s free instruction in my Taekwondo school, where she can learn how to make No mean No. And yes, to head off the comments - I hand them out to young men as well, for the very same reason - they need to learn how to make No mean No, which means they need to learn the discipline and self-control that martial arts teaches. And the men/women who go for the pre-pubescent kids? That is just seriously fucked up. There’s no excuse for it. ---
**Author:** ![Wendell\_Wagner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/8491ac/32.png) [@Wendell\_Wagner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wendell_Wagner)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/50 "2012-07-18T15:03:31Z")
Look, LadyMadonna, let’s go through this slowly. The fact that you see lots of news stories about something doesn’t mean that it’s become more common. Often, in fact, it means that something has become less common, and it stands out more because people are more outraged by it. Rather than talking about child sexual abuse, where there’s often no records on how common it was in previous years, let’s talk about crime rates in general, where it’s harder to cover up crimes. After all, child sexual abuse almost always includes the adult somehow forcing the child not to talk to anyone else about it. It’s probable that child sexual abuse is less common these days, but it’s hard to prove it. Let’s talk about the crime rate in the U.S. Occasionally you hear someone claim that since they see news stories all the time about crime, that proves that it’s increasing. Except that this is utterly wrong. The crime rate in the U.S. has been generally decreasing for the last twenty years. It’s now as low as it has ever been in the last fifty years. And it’s not because something is being covered up. What, do you think that people are covering up murders and pretending that the victim is still alive? So why do you see news stories about crime? Because that’s what sells newspapers (and these days more often, cable news channels). News outlets nowdays include stories about crimes in cities distant from you that you would never have heard about a few years ago. Such news outlets only thrive because they can only get you to watch or read them if they can keep you in a constant state of terror. Quit being terrorized by them. Learn to look up crime statistics rather than relying on anecdotal evidence. Yeah, I know it’s hard to understand numbers, but unless you do so, you will always be a prisoner of the sensationalist news outlets. ---
**Author:** ![Marley23](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Marley23](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marley23)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/51 "2012-07-18T15:08:39Z")
> [@Wendell\_Wagner](#): > > Look, LadyMadonna, let’s go through this slowly. I think that’s a good idea. ---
**Author:** ![Machine\_Elf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/82dd89/32.png) [@Machine\_Elf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Machine_Elf)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/52 "2012-07-18T15:16:05Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > We don’t need to segregate the adult men, 99% of whom have never done anything wrong, from the children. Thanks for your support (seriously). Would you mind passing that thought on to [a few airlines?](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Airline_sex_discrimination_policy_controversy) ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/53 "2012-07-18T15:16:12Z")
> [@Clothahump](#): > > I hand them out to young men as well, for the very same reason I didn’t know you were bisexual! 😃 Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Smeghead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f1d935/32.png) [@Smeghead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smeghead)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/54 "2012-07-18T15:30:24Z")
> [@Marley23](#): > > I think that’s a good idea. Slower…no, slower…yeah. Now faster, faster!! ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/55 "2012-07-18T15:32:06Z")
Is society doing anything about it? Are you serious? In their zeal to protect children from abusers: 1. Volunteer coaches and teachers at my children’s elementary school cannot offer rides to students who are in after school programs or clubs, unless there is a second adult in the car. However, parents who AREN’T acting in an official capacity can offer rides if they’d like. Do you know how difficult it is to find parents able and willing to drive carpools at 3:00pm? It’s even worse when the coach/teacher is leading the pack, with an empty car except for his own child. This also means that if a parent is late picking up junior from practice, at least two adults have to stay until the parent arrives. It also means that for parents who have unique circumstances (e.g. they work second shift or have 3 kids to run around), we cannot just drive the kid home, even if it’s on our way home. Pretty soon we won’t have to worry about it because we won’t have after school programs. 1. Our Girl Scout council has rules against fathers sleeping in the same room as the Scouts. Even in a GYMNASIUM filled with thousands of people. Even their OWN daughter. At one of our field trips, all the fathers were LOCKED into a separate office. Yeah, this kind of stupidity will stop child abuse. ---
**Author:** ![MysteryFellow63427](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a88e4f/32.png) [@MysteryFellow63427](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MysteryFellow63427)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/56 "2012-07-18T16:24:27Z")
> [@bucketybuck](#): > > Lady Madonna, children at your feet > wonder how you manage to keep it discreet, > Who finds the children, molested in your tent > Did you think they’re only molested by men > > Friday night arrives stuffed in a suitcase > Sunday morning then you’ve had your fun > Mondays child learned to untie his bootlegs > See how they run… \ jolly good showing, old chap, jolly good. ---
**Author:** ![gamerunknown](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/6bbea6/32.png) [@gamerunknown](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gamerunknown)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/57 "2012-07-18T16:59:03Z")
> [@Der Trihs](#): > > Children have more features that resemble those that distinguish women from men, rather than the other way around. Children compared to men are shorter, less muscular, have a higher pitched voice etc. So if a man’s sexual focus is defective, it’s a smaller jump for it to target children than it is for a woman. Sort of. There exists a bias towards [neotony in facial features](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Neoteny#Attractive_women.27s_faces) for men towards women. There are evolutionary psychological explanations for this: men value physical fidelity in order to ensure the preservation of their genes, whereas this is of less concern for women. One indicator that a woman would not have prior sexual partners is if she was just over the cusp of puberty. Women desire emotional fidelity, since they can be fairly certain any child they’re bearing is theirs, but their children are less likely to thrive if their partner abandons them. [Men are more likely to commit violent crimes such as murder](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gender_and_crime#Sociobiological_and_evolutionary_psychology_perspective) and more likely to be rapists, and women are more likely to be the target of rape. Course, this has no ameliorating effect on the responsibilities of men not to rape children. The [age of consent map](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_consent#Law) throughout the world and the disparity in [mean age](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_at_first_marriage) of marriage throughout the world is kinda pertinent (though as wiki points out, median age would be more illustrative). > [@Clothahump](#): > > Which is why the only thing I will do is smile and hand her a card good for a month’s free instruction in my Taekwondo school, where she can learn how to make No mean No. It’s sorta weird that you’re training underage girls you previously checked out at some store. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/58 "2012-07-18T17:07:44Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Blatant trollery. I’m glad this OP got the response it deserved. > > (And yeah, bitches be crazy.) The OP is likely a returning trollsock/socktroll. So there’s no reason to believe they are female. ---
**Author:** ![YogSothoth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/8edcca/32.png) [@YogSothoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YogSothoth)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/59 "2012-07-18T17:22:16Z")
Well if the children will stop being so damn sexy, we could stop this once and for all! ---
**Author:** ![robert\_columbia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e79b87/32.png) [@robert\_columbia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robert_columbia)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2012, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595/60 "2012-07-18T17:22:34Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > I blame the Illuminati. I blame your mother. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-it-with-men-and-sexual-abuse-of-children/628595.md?page=4)