# What is "joy"? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [July 30, 2023, 7:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835 "2023-07-30T19:18:05Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Pazu](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pazu/32/15522_2.png) [@Pazu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pazu)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2023, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/21 "2023-07-31T17:33:00Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > That gave me some joy, right there! > [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Joy is what you can wish, hope or give to someone. Then it comes back to you. And thus we come full circle šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![Omar\_Little](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/omar_little/32/269_2.png) [@Omar\_Little](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Omar_Little)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2023, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/22 "2023-07-31T21:16:07Z")
Joy - a feeling of great pleasure and happiness A very subjective feeling and definition and relative. Think of the happiest person you know and rate them a 10. Think of the least happy person you know and rate them a 1. Based upon those 2 people, how would you rate yourself between 1 and 10? Happiness is also relative to our previous feelings of happiness. If you recall the happiest that you were was 10 years ago when you gave birth to your children, and nothing has replaced that feeling, then the further you get from that time will create more dissatisfaction in your current feelings as you believe that you will not be able to return to that time again. There are several graduate classes at major colleges and universities on the subject of happiness. A friend of mine Dr. Arthur Brooks, teaches such a class at Harvard. He is also the author of a book on the subject [From Strength to Strength](https://www.amazon.com/Strength-Finding-Success-Happiness-Purpose/dp/059319148X/ref=asc_df_059319148X/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=509245866633&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=8170426774100120034&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9028824&hvtargid=pla-1262096962274&psc=1). ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [July 31, 2023, 9:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/23 "2023-07-31T21:28:09Z")
> [@Omar\_Little](#): > > 10 years ago when you gave birth to your children, and nothing has replaced that feeling, then the further you get from that time will create more dissatisfaction in your current feelings as you believe that you will not be able to return to that time again. Yes, but add 30 plus years to that 10. If I could I would take such a class; perhaps Iā€™ll buy that book here soon. I canā€™t say Iā€™ve not had happy times since, but itā€™s been a while. Circumstances have made life a challenge as of late. There are things that make me happy, my cats (only 2 thank you) watching fireworks (a good drone show might be as good), the new Star Trek series. I agree joy does seem to be a very subjective word. Joy, joy, what is joy!!! šŸ˜† šŸ˜‰ ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2023, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/24 "2023-08-01T00:38:08Z")
Unfortunately that word has been turned into a buzzword these days - I blame Marie Kondo. IMO, that cheapens its definition - itā€™s supposed to be a special, occasional feeling, not something thatā€™s going to show up on the regular. People start to think if they arenā€™t deliriously happy 24/7 thereā€™s something wrong with them. There isnā€™t. Life is full of lots of mundane with highs and lows. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2023, 1:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/25 "2023-08-01T01:11:53Z")
Incidentally, I have a niece named ā€œJoyā€ Her mother was dreaminā€™ big that day. ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2023, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/26 "2023-08-01T01:32:26Z")
I think I agree with this. I mean Iā€™d like to feel joy a bit more often than I do, and I wouldnā€™t like to go through child birth again just to experience it. Iā€™m too old for that, but Iā€™d like to see if Iā€™m capable of it. Joy that is, not child birth. ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2023, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/27 "2023-08-01T01:33:30Z")
My dad used to say, ā€œNothing beats a try but a failure.ā€ ; ) ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2023, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/28 "2023-08-01T01:41:02Z")
Do you have grand kids yet? ---
**Author:** ![romansperson](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/romansperson/32/17100_2.png) [@romansperson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/romansperson)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2023, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/29 "2023-08-01T01:59:12Z")
I think everyone is capable of feeling joy - but itā€™s not something you can set as a goal or strive to achieve. It just happens in the process of living your life, and you donā€™t know where or when you are going to find it (which is part of what makes it feel like it does). Did you expect to have that feeling right after your kids were born? Probably not, which is part of what makes it feel special. Donā€™t underestimate feelings of satisfaction and contentment. We can often take action to get those. I think a lot of people make themselves unhappy by dwelling on what they donā€™t have instead of being grateful for the things they do. Mindsets are infectious, too - surrounding yourself with people with sunnier outlooks can affect how you feel, and in turn you pass on how you feel to others. ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2023, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/30 "2023-08-01T02:43:18Z")
Oh yes, I was present for each of their births, except for my step-grandson. Being there for their births was very special perhaps approaching joy. They live with us now along with their parents. I love them all, but they do not bring me joy at all at this time. I would love to be able to miss my grandkids. I know it sounds awful, but itā€™s been a long handful of years of my daughter and her family being dependent on us in one form or another. ---
**Author:** ![Voyager](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/voyager/32/133_2.png) [@Voyager](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Voyager)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2023, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/31 "2023-08-01T02:58:51Z")
> [@Beckdawrek](#): > > Ahh! Three Dog Night. Hoyt Axton wrote it. And good advice. ---
**Author:** ![Beckdawrek](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beckdawrek/32/3647_2.png) [@Beckdawrek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beckdawrek)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2023, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/32 "2023-08-01T03:09:19Z")
Oh, I forgot. You have the adult children/with children living with you. Yeah that is a problem. No joy there. I find, in my case, the grandkids are the best source of joy. I revel in their accomplishments and just love it when they give the parents (my kids) grief. I told them it would happen. I try to find things I can do with them. Sometimes itā€™s a simple talk or board game. Other times we really do something. Iā€™m sort of a shut in so it does help me to feel useful and busy. But you have to find _your_ way. I hope you can. Hugs to you! ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2023, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/33 "2023-08-01T03:12:30Z")
Thank you. Iā€™m glad youā€™ve found your way and you have your quality time with your grand kids. I hope you continue to enjoy your time with them. ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2023, 2:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/34 "2023-08-02T14:20:42Z")
To me ā€œjoyā€ is a sudden rush of happiness I feel when doing every day things. Like when I went outside on the patio yesterday around 7pm. The air was soft and warm and smelled amazing. It was a beautiful summer evening. I took the deepest breath of air that I could fit in my lungs and thought this is perfect. I feel joy when I take the grandkids somewhere and I see the look of excitement or amazement on their faces. And I feel it again when I take them home and they each give me a hug and say, ā€œthanks, Gram I love youā€. ---
**Author:** ![Sylvanz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Sylvanz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sylvanz)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2023, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835/35 "2023-08-02T14:45:51Z")
I can understand that. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-joy/987835.md?page=1)