# What is one thing someone said that made you lose respect for them? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 9, 2016, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573 "2016-01-09T07:52:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Whatever4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f04885/32.png) [@Whatever4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whatever4)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/61 "2016-01-10T06:09:25Z")
I have one more. “God has a plan for me.” Usually spoken repeatedly while the speaker’s life is falling apart and s/he hasn’t a clue on how to deal with it. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/62 "2016-01-10T06:11:40Z")
I’m willing to forgive the occasional character flaw. The thing the bothers me is a person who lies, is a hypocrite, or cheats on their spouse. ---
**Author:** ![Atomic\_Alex](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/atomic_alex/32/175_2.png) [@Atomic\_Alex](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Atomic_Alex)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 10:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/63 "2016-01-10T10:37:13Z")
> [@Breccia](#): > > When someone tells me what I’m thinking (and they’re incorrect.) If the person were correct, or rather consistently correct, it’d be a different story. > The situations where this arose where inevitably stressful moments and a person projecting thoughts on to me was confounding. > Likely, in day to day interactions, my husband and close friends could accurately extrapolate my possible thoughts. This isn’t what I’d object to although for whatever reason the people I’m close to don’t do this to me or to others. That one is particular common during debates on the internet, somehow the other person magically knows your innermost thoughts and beliefs. And its particularly difficult to argue against. > [@incidental](#): > > I had an ex with had some admittedly odd dietary beliefs. Which I was willing to let slide, as long as it wasn’t a major discussion point. It was his body, he was an adult man and could eat whatever he wanted. > > Yeah…that didn’t last long. The next thing I know, he’s sending me basic science articles about the mouse and in vitro studies that he was using as justification for this weirdness. > > Never, ever send an actual scientist mouse studies to justify your weird dietary beliefs. Mice are not people, and extrapolating from mouse data and in vitro data to your own daily lifestyle and then arguing the bloody point is just crazy. > > He also made some oddball connection to his dental health…the whole thing was just weird. He wasn’t a dumb guy - actually the opposite - which was probably part of the problem. I don’t think he thought he could be wrong, or that there could be flaws in the articles that he didn’t see. > [@scootergirl](#): > > This made me laugh. And as in the same case as my ex/conspiracy nut case, he also is not a dumb person. Which makes the whole progression of all the weird and screwed up things he beliefs in even stranger. I recently read a book, ‘Think Like a Freak’ by Stephen J. Dubner and Steven Levitt that stated that counter-intuitively intelligent people are _more_ likely to have unusual or extreme beliefs, possibly because they’re better at coming across unusual information in the first place and then also better at finding more sources to reinforce the initial information and rationalising away any counter arguments or facts. For example, take the subject of climate change, an intelligent person is more likely to be either 100% for or against the idea than someone perhaps less smart. Interesting book actually. ---
**Author:** ![\_Raven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/_raven/32/20435_2.png) [@\_Raven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Raven)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/64 "2016-01-10T12:03:52Z")
> [@Whatever4](#): > > I have one more. > > “God has a plan for me.” Usually spoken repeatedly while the speaker’s life is falling apart and s/he hasn’t a clue on how to deal with it. Consider that an emotional “safety net” against depression, despair, and panic; a way to stay calm enough to _deal_ with problems. Rainer Maria Rilke, in [one of his “Letters to a Young Poet”](http://www.livinglifefully.com/flo/flobeletterstoayoungpoet.htm), phrased it more like “_Life_ has a plan for you”, but the general assurance was the same: > [@](#): > > \*How should we be able to forget those ancient myths that are at the beginning of all peoples, the myths about dragons that at the last moment turn into princesses; perhaps all the dragons of our lives are princesses who are only waiting to see us once beautiful and brave. Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us. > > So you must not be frightened if a sadness rises up before you larger than any you have ever seen; if a restiveness, like light and cloud-shadows, passes over your hands and over all you do. You must think that something is happening with you, that life has not forgotten you, that it holds you in its hand; it will not let you fall.\* ---
**Author:** ![\_Raven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/_raven/32/20435_2.png) [@\_Raven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Raven)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/65 "2016-01-10T12:12:10Z")
> [@Disposable Hero](#): > > … counter-intuitively intelligent people are _more_ likely to have unusual or extreme beliefs… They’re _used_ to standing against the crowd… right or wrong… ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/66 "2016-01-10T13:08:49Z")
The guy at work who said he doesn’t “bother” to vote. Yet he bitches about how the government is run. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 3:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/67 "2016-01-10T15:59:15Z")
> [@\_Raven](#): > > Consider that an emotional “safety net” against depression, despair, and panic; a way to stay calm enough to _deal_ with problems. The midwife who’d assisted in my delivery told it to my mother meaning “by my medical knowledge, this baby should be dead; it’s a miracle she’s not.” I’ve also heard it in similar contexts of someone surviving a very bad accident unscathed, for example, or living a lot longer than anybody would have expected: “he must still have something important to do”. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/68 "2016-01-10T17:01:17Z")
After the UCC school shooting on 10/01, I pretty much withdrew from life. Two acquaintances had been killed and a long-time friend had been wounded to the point that she spent several days on life support. Additionally, a professor, whom I initially could not contact and was worried sick about, had to withdraw from teaching for a while because the anxiety and depression was too much for her to handle. Part of my withdraw was stepping away from Facebook because, naturally, True Believers on both sides of the gun debate were using it as their soapbox. When I finally logged back on after several days, I saw a post from a cousin of mine. Channeling her inner Ted Nugent, she had posted a several paragraph screed that blamed the victims of the shooting for their own deaths because they weren’t carrying guns for protection, blaming the school for not having hundreds of armed guards in every classroom, college students in general for being liberal pansies who hate the 2nd amendment, liberals for causing bad guys with guns to exist… it went on. And on. And on. And on. It really sucks. We’ve been friendly and on good terms our entire lives, played together a lot as children, and made a point of visiting each other whenever we were in each other’s neck of the woods. But that was exponentially more than I was willing to accept. I blocked her and her husband from FB, deleted their phone numbers and email address, and if I never see her again it will be too soon. Now, I hate to say it, but if I’m totally honest with myself I can say that she could die in a fire tomorrow and my only feelings would be sadness that I’m not sad. When I think of Amber and Sarena and Larry and all the others, laying in that little classroom in a big pool of blood and then I think of my cousin, standing there pointing and yelling that it their own damn fault they’re dead… Fuck her. Maybe a house fire is too good for her. And all it took was one Facebook post. ---
**Author:** ![Avarie537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/48db29/32.png) [@Avarie537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Avarie537)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/69 "2016-01-10T18:49:24Z")
I have a coworker who honestly believes that Donald Trump is the best presidential hopeful in ages. I didn’t think my opinion of her could drop any lower, and yet it did. ---
**Author:** ![dizzee\_dee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7c8e57/32.png) [@dizzee\_dee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dizzee_dee)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 7:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/70 "2016-01-10T19:07:54Z")
> [@Sattua](#): > > I was halfway through _We Took to the Woods_ by Louise Dickson Rich, and quite liking her, when I got to the part where she has a baby with no difficulty at all, and opines that women who do have difficulty are probably self-centered whiners. > > Book met wall. Screw you, Louise. Was this a non-fiction work? And unless you finished the book, how do you know she didn’t later have a change of mind? ---
**Author:** ![Wesley\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wesley_clark/32/20581_2.png) [@Wesley\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wesley_Clark)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2016, 7:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/71 "2016-01-10T19:13:32Z")
I’m keeping count of the number of things I’ve said or thought and I stopped counting at 7. ---
**Author:** ![Fenris](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fenris/32/498_2.png) [@Fenris](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fenris)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/72 "2016-01-11T01:40:56Z")
People who judge others on one trait or one single ill-advised comment. It _is_ possible to have a friend who has a deeply felt belief that you think is totally idiotic, but you still care about them, despite that. ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/73 "2016-01-11T01:43:11Z")
See? I still like you. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![pohjonen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pohjonen/32/423_2.png) [@pohjonen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pohjonen)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/74 "2016-01-11T02:59:05Z")
There were no such things as dinosaurs. Just ask my brother-in-law. Oh - and plumbers deserve bigger paychecks than teachers. Sunday dinners with the family were a joy, I tell you. ---
**Author:** ![Brynda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e79b87/32.png) [@Brynda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Brynda)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/75 "2016-01-11T03:24:24Z")
People who cheat on their taxes. Just pay your damn share. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/76 "2016-01-11T04:14:22Z")
> [@Lancia](#): > > After the UCC school shooting on 10/01, I pretty much withdrew from life. Two acquaintances had been killed and a long-time friend had been wounded to the point that she spent several days on life support. Additionally, a professor, whom I initially could not contact and was worried sick about, had to withdraw from teaching for a while because the anxiety and depression was too much for her to handle. Part of my withdraw was stepping away from Facebook because, naturally, True Believers on both sides of the gun debate were using it as their soapbox. > > When I finally logged back on after several days, I saw a post from a cousin of mine. Channeling her inner Ted Nugent, she had posted a several paragraph screed that blamed the victims of the shooting for their own deaths because they weren’t carrying guns for protection, blaming the school for not having hundreds of armed guards in every classroom, college students in general for being liberal pansies who hate the 2nd amendment, liberals for causing bad guys with guns to exist… it went on. And on. And on. And on. > > It really sucks. We’ve been friendly and on good terms our entire lives, played together a lot as children, and made a point of visiting each other whenever we were in each other’s neck of the woods. But that was exponentially more than I was willing to accept. I blocked her and her husband from FB, deleted their phone numbers and email address, and if I never see her again it will be too soon. > > Now, I hate to say it, but if I’m totally honest with myself I can say that she could die in a fire tomorrow and my only feelings would be sadness that I’m not sad. When I think of Amber and Sarena and Larry and all the others, laying in that little classroom in a big pool of blood and then I think of my cousin, standing there pointing and yelling that it their own damn fault they’re dead… > > Fuck her. Maybe a house fire is too good for her. And all it took was one Facebook post. Hugs to you. How is the person who was on life support doing now? I actually came to this thread to post that if a person is constantly railing on social media about how Obamasgonnatakeourguns and yet they keep bragging that they have them, and especially if they leave them out with their minor children, that takes my opinion of them down quite a ways. I also have no use for people who are always complaining about how overworked they are with their kids, and yet want to have more. Makes no sense to me. ---
**Author:** ![joyfool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@joyfool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/joyfool)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/77 "2016-01-11T05:03:08Z")
Apart from bigotry and hatred, I don’t know if I’d go so far as to say I’d lose respect for them, but I’d say it’s close with people who constantly bitch about their lives (in whatever capacity), yet will never do thing one to fix it. In those cases, I just want them to shut the hell up and let those willing to work to fix their problems have at the resources or help to do so. ---
**Author:** ![Mijin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mijin/32/9369_2.png) [@Mijin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mijin)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/78 "2016-01-11T05:39:03Z")
Well, everyone’s covered the obvious bigotry ones, so I’ll pick one of the higher-up fruit: snobbishness about music. I’m fine with someone not liking whatever genre of music. Or saying modern music is trash, (because most people will accept that they mean that as a generalization). But stuff like “It’s not music; it’s just noise” or “There’s no skill involved in rap, it’s just talking” or whatever shows a certain snobbishness and unwillingness to listen that I consider to be a red flag about a person’s character. ---
**Author:** ![Nawth\_Chucka](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/c57346/32.png) [@Nawth\_Chucka](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nawth_Chucka)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/79 "2016-01-11T05:40:08Z")
Too many to count in my adulthood who started a sentence w/, “It’s not that I \*mind \*(protected class/minority)…” Ohhhh, this will not go well. ---
**Author:** ![handsomeharry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9c0ed/32.png) [@handsomeharry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handsomeharry)\ **Post date:** [January 11, 2016, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/80 "2016-01-11T05:58:21Z")
When anybody calls somebody else a racist. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573.md?page=5)