# What is one thing someone said that made you lose respect for them? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [January 9, 2016, 7:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573 "2016-01-09T07:52:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/121 "2016-01-12T19:04:49Z")
My BIL bragged to Ivylad that they are a “news-less” family. I only hope they don’t vote. :smack: I hate reading is a big one for me. To me, that’s like saying I hate breathing. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 7:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/122 "2016-01-12T19:40:41Z")
> [@Urbanredneck](#): > > They dont abuse them in any way (physically, mentally, or withholding sex). They arent a couch potato. They both do their share of household chores. They contribute financially. They are not a drain on finances. They keep up their appearance. Both agree on issues like children and religion. That sort of thing. > > Any other issues were there when they married the person and come as part of the package. Nobody ever knows what goes on in a marriage except for the people in it. More than one woman has told me that she could not divorce her husband for infidelity, because she had done it herself. :o ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/123 "2016-01-12T19:43:32Z")
> [@billfish678](#): > > Geez, that IS pretty cheesy and embarrassing. I’d be tempted to keep going out with her for awhile. Make sure its a pattern. Then one day rat her ass out to everybody in earshot when she pulls it yet again. > > I knew somebody that CONSTANTLY berated the wait staff. No matter what they did it wasn’t up to snuff. Any problems with the food (which were usually just plain made up) were as if the staff themselves had personally prepared it wrong just to piss her off. > > I quit eating out with that person. Many people consider something like that to be a dating deal-breaker. Heck, it should be a FRIENDSHIP deal-breaker, because the nice person who is mean to someone behind a counter is not a nice person. Back when I worked in restaurants, we’d occasionally have people who wanted (and got) something that wasn’t on the menu. In one case, it was a whole family who would do this, and I wanted to scream at them, “WHY DON’T YOU JUST GO HOME AND COOK IT THE WAY YOU WANT IT?” :mad: There’s a scene in “When Harry Met Sally” where Meg Ryan does that (and no, she doesn’t fake an orgasm as a result). ---
**Author:** ![Scougs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scougs/32/3158_2.png) [@Scougs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scougs)\ **Post date:** [January 12, 2016, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/124 "2016-01-12T20:01:12Z")
When my ex told me he wasn’t comfortable standing at the next urinal to one of my gay friends, another nail went in the coffin of that relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Urbanredneck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ea5d25/32.png) [@Urbanredneck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Urbanredneck)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/125 "2016-01-13T13:44:41Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > So you are sympathetic to cheaters if their spouse has gotten fat? Are you that shallow that puting on some weight is an excuse? Was part of your vows “until you get fat”? BTW, everyone gains weight after they are married. No, that alone would not be a deal-breaker. ---
**Author:** ![Oddball\_92](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/b3f665/32.png) [@Oddball\_92](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oddball_92)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/126 "2016-01-13T14:38:34Z")
> [@mage-girl](#): > > And executive-assistant-lady says something like, oh, not my kind of thing, then follows up with (exact quote here): > > “I don’t believe in mixing.” > > To hear someone openly say that, in our supposedly modern age… I’m pretty sure I just stared at her until I could make an excuse to go. > :eek: Sooo what was it that offended you? Was it the fact that she had that opinion in the first place or was it that she expressed it during a conversation? ---
**Author:** ![Shakester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shakester/32/437_2.png) [@Shakester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shakester)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 4:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/127 "2016-01-13T16:26:13Z")
Anyone who says _of_ when they mean _have_. ---
**Author:** ![\_Raven](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/_raven/32/20435_2.png) [@\_Raven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/_Raven)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 4:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/128 "2016-01-13T16:52:08Z")
> [@Cardigan](#): > > She ALWAYS complains at whatever restaurant she goes to so she can get a discount or a freebie. That’s one possible strategy. Here’s another. My wife and I don’t often go out to a place like Red Lobster or Olive Garden, but when we do, we reliably get good service (almost always excellent and personable service, depending on how busy it is!) and great food, and comment on it – my wife, being the daughter of a professional chef, has the background to give detailed comments – and the managers have come to know us and smile on sight. Our letters of compliment have wound up on the kitchen walls and in one case read aloud at a managers’ conference (to the local manager’s and waitress’s delight). The managers know that we’re not trying to get discounts or comps, that we appreciate their staff and cooking and that we’ll only enjoy their improving. So we feel _ **listened** _ to. ---
**Author:** ![lalaith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/96bed5/32.png) [@lalaith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lalaith)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/129 "2016-01-13T17:15:36Z")
> [@Disposable Hero](#): > > That one is particular common during debates on the internet, somehow the other person magically knows your innermost thoughts and beliefs. And its particularly difficult to argue against. But sometimes it’s so obvious. I’ve never met a misogynist who’s in a happy relationship with a woman. So the men who go online to spew bile and hatred all over women as a group…it’s easy to know that they haven’t had successful relationships with women. So easy that I’ve used that to make fun of them. I tell them they’re like that old prank where someone puts a “KICK ME” sign on their back and they walk around with it not knowing they’re wearing the sign, except in this case their sign says “TOTAL LOSER WITH WOMEN.” Because they’re exposing this information about themselves and aren’t even aware they’re doing it. ---
**Author:** ![maxjohnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90db22/32.png) [@maxjohnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maxjohnson)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/130 "2016-01-13T18:17:34Z")
> [@Shakester](#): > > Any conspiracy theory. As soon as someone starts parroting one, I mentally strike them from the list of people I’d trust with any important task. > [@scootergirl](#): > > This. My marriage of almost 17 years felt apart for various reasons - this was one. And it was a big one. It made me realize that he had changed in ways that were so out of character and bizarre, that continuing our relationship was going to be quite difficult. I had lost respect for him. And the deeper and stranger his belief in these conspiracies became, the further we grew apart. Now, 6 years after our divorce, his life revolves around them. Some make him sound like he’s gone off the deep end. I don’t know what to make of it. How does someone get to that point? I would like some elaboration. Maybe you can cross me off your list. I avoid anything that come out of Alex Jones, homeopathy and new age stuff. But I find it interesting to ponder about things as well, I don’t make conclusion unless there are good facts to back it up. I am less attracted to people who do not ask question and trust everything they’re told by the media. I think a life without asking questions is not worth living. > [@Jan\_John\_Cobham\_Salad](#): > > Anybody who pops off at the mouth about their infidelity. I have friends and acquaintances who pull this crap as if being a pile of shit is some badge of honor. I can tolerate a wide spectrum of opinions, beliefs and practices without batting an eye but the people bragging about their side action with a good wife sitting at home are disgusting to me. I have to admit I’m not fond of men of who refer to their female partner/gf/wife as “b\*tch” to other men. And from my experience, there are of a lot of them. ---
**Author:** ![california\_jobcase](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9d8465/32.png) [@california\_jobcase](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/california_jobcase)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/131 "2016-01-13T18:29:49Z")
When my department chair told me she had two beautiful, loving Cocker Spaniels, and that she never let them in the house. ---
**Author:** ![maxjohnson](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/90db22/32.png) [@maxjohnson](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/maxjohnson)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/132 "2016-01-13T18:36:51Z")
> [@Baker](#): > > The guy at work who said he doesn’t “bother” to vote. Yet he bitches about how the government is run. I have more respect for a person who don’t vote and participate in some direct action or involvement that help their community than people who vote and sit on their behind. > [@Fenris](#): > > People who judge others on one trait or one single ill-advised comment. > > It _is_ possible to have a friend who has a deeply felt belief that you think is totally idiotic, but you still care about them, despite that. Well said. ---
**Author:** ![Dustin\_the\_Wind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f1d935/32.png) [@Dustin\_the\_Wind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dustin_the_Wind)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/133 "2016-01-13T19:02:51Z")
I had gone on a couple dates with a guy I had known since Kindergarten (we had run into each other at our 30th class reunion). On our second - and last - date, we were stopping at a bar on the way home for a drink. We were walking across some very slick ice in the parking lot. I said, “Can I hold on to your arm so I don’t fall?” He replied, “No way. If you DO, fall we’ll BOTH go down.” Showed me he has no compassion or thoughtfulness. I haven’t seen him since and don’t want to. ---
**Author:** ![F.U.Shakespeare](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/aca169/32.png) [@F.U.Shakespeare](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/F.U.Shakespeare)\ **Post date:** [January 13, 2016, 7:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/134 "2016-01-13T19:06:40Z")
> [@maxjohnson](#): > > I would like some elaboration. Maybe you can cross me off your list. I avoid anything that come out of Alex Jones, homeopathy and new age stuff. But I find it interesting to ponder about things as well, I don’t make conclusion unless there are good facts to back it up. **I am less attracted to people who do not ask question and trust everything they’re told by the media. I think a life without asking questions is not worth living.** The bolded part describes the kind of conspiracy theorists I have no interest in interacting with. They listen only to ‘echo-chamber’ media and don’t question _that._ 30-40 years ago, it was more advisable, and admirable, to question institutions like the government, corporations, and the media (which was pretty much all mainstream). But with all the channelized media outlets that have cropped up catering to their audiences’ existing beliefs, it doesn’t require the same independence of thinking to question the mainstream media as it used to. ---
**Author:** ![Shakester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shakester/32/437_2.png) [@Shakester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shakester)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/135 "2016-01-14T04:25:37Z")
> [@maxjohnson](#): > > I would like some elaboration. Maybe you can cross me off your list. I avoid anything that come out of Alex Jones, homeopathy and new age stuff. But I find it interesting to ponder about things as well, I don’t make conclusion unless there are good facts to back it up. I am less attracted to people who do not ask question and trust everything they’re told by the media. I think a life without asking questions is not worth living. I _don’t_ “trust everything I’m told by the media”. Far from it. I’m a big fan of critical thinking, and learning about how to do real critical thinking has improved my life enormously. Thing is, once you understand how to do that, and in particular once you learn about [cognitive biases](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_bias), then you can instantly see what conspiracy theorists are doing wrong, and why their theories never hold up. And once you can do _that_, then as soon as you recognise something as a conspiracy theory, you can stop worrying about whether there’s any basis to it. It has nothing to do with “trusting the official story” and everything to do with knowing how to spot nonsense. Are there real conspiracies in the world? Of course there are. Do they resemble classic conspiracy theories? No, real conspiracies are mundane, and that’s basically how you can see the difference. ---
**Author:** ![KRC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/45deac/32.png) [@KRC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KRC)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/136 "2016-01-14T05:28:09Z")
Most of the things that would bother me have already been covered, but: 1. Using the word bourgeois. It makes a person sound like a first year college kid who thinks he’s the first person ever to read _The Communist Manifesto._ 2. Food woo. Toxins, cleanses, miracle food du jour (Kale, Quinoa, Juicing.) 3. Spouting meaningless pseudo profundities such as “It is what it is” or “Everything happens for a reason.” ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 5:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/137 "2016-01-14T05:39:59Z")
> [@maxjohnson](#): > > I have to admit I’m not fond of men of who refer to their female partner/gf/wife as “b\*tch” to other men. And from my experience, there are of a lot of them. Nor am I fond of women who use comparable language to refer to their male partner/bf/husband. If you’re that unhappy, break up or get divorced. ---
**Author:** ![the\_diego](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7bcc69/32.png) [@the\_diego](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_diego)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 7:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/138 "2016-01-14T07:12:00Z")
I disagree with a lot of the main points here. ---
**Author:** ![Soylent\_Juicy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/82dd89/32.png) [@Soylent\_Juicy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Soylent_Juicy)\ **Post date:** [January 14, 2016, 9:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/139 "2016-01-14T21:34:02Z")
When 9/11 happened someone I know said “We know a couple who are Muslim and we’re not going to speak to them anymore.” When I tried to explain how \*that makes absolutely no goddamn sense \* it was like talking to a brick. ---
**Author:** ![nearwildheaven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/90db22/32.png) [@nearwildheaven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nearwildheaven)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2016, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573/140 "2016-01-15T00:29:51Z")
> [@KRC](#): > > 1. Using the word bourgeois. It makes a person sound like a first year college kid who thinks he’s the first person ever to read _The Communist Manifesto._ Unless you’re referring to this late 80s band. The singer became a born-again Christian around this time (no, that wasn’t why the band broke up) and now does CCM. [![](https://img.youtube.com/vi/3gUDMeIEMMI/maxresdefault.jpg "Bourgeois Tagg - I Don't Mind At All") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gUDMeIEMMI) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-someone-said-that-made-you-lose-respect-for-them/742573.md?page=8)