# What is one thing that will make you open a thread?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178>\
**Category:** In My Humble Opinion\
**Created:** [July 21, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178 "2004-07-21T14:06:04Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/1 "2004-07-21T14:06:04Z")

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If a thread has been locked I can’t open it fast enough. I gotta see why it was closed. What makes you click on something?

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**Author:** ![leenmi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f1d935/32.png) [@leenmi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leenmi)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/2 "2004-07-21T14:44:11Z")

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I, too, must know why threads were closed. Even if the subject is something I desperately want to avoid I will still open a closed thread.

Bannings. Seeing BANNED under a username sends me on a thread hunt until I figure out why. Even if it is someone I never noticed or cared about. I simply MUST know.

Bodily function TMI threads when there is a chance that Coldfire had to respond. I don’t like bodily function threads, but Coldfire is cute when he’s squeamish.

Linux threads. I’m not a rabid Linux geek, I just can’t stand the though of someone missing out on the joy that is a Unix flavor because they didn’t know the answer to a problem.

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**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 2:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/3 "2004-07-21T14:47:56Z")

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I agree. I love locked threads. Also, Family Guy, Office Space, The Simpsons, weekly TV show threads, threads about my favorite bands, cats, obesity, crazy celebrities, the personal problems of other Dopers (if I can offer advice or sympathy), Doper feuds (I sneak in with my lawnchair, unannounced).

Aaaaaaand…any thread title mentioning an 18’DHIBJD. I have to help spread the latest, greatest Doper cliche. 😃

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**Author:** ![Rufus\_Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eada6e/32.png) [@Rufus\_Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rufus_Xavier)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 3:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/4 "2004-07-21T15:00:51Z")

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> [@Nutty Bunny](#):
>
> Aaaaaaand…any thread title mentioning an 18’DHIBJD. I have to help spread the latest, greatest Doper cliche. 😃

I have a problem with this. It’s 18\*\*"\*\*DHIBJD. I think " is impressive enough. ’ would be major overkill. 🙂 Also, I like putting the two :eek: :eek: at the end, but that’s really just a matter of taste.

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**Author:** ![Nutty\_Bunny](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/d07c76/32.png) [@Nutty\_Bunny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nutty_Bunny)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 3:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/5 "2004-07-21T15:05:19Z")

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> [@Rufus Xavier](#):
>
> I have a problem with this. It’s 18\*\*"\*\*DHIBJD. I think " is impressive enough. ’ would be major overkill. 🙂

Speak for yourself. 😉

:eek: :eek:

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 4:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/6 "2004-07-21T16:24:37Z")

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Any thread with a reply by Cecil.

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**Author:** ![Genghis\_Bob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/45deac/32.png) [@Genghis\_Bob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Genghis_Bob)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/7 "2004-07-21T16:50:40Z")

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Lockdowns (and I’m always disappointed when the reason is innocuous, like a duplicate thread - I feel cheated).

Banned posters with low post count. I’m right behind \*\*leenmi \*\* in tracking down the \*why \* of it.

There. Having paid the price of admission to this thread . . . I must have missed the memo: **18"DHIBJD**???

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**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/8 "2004-07-21T16:58:38Z")

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> [@Genghis Bob](#):
>
> **18"DHIBJD**???

Yep. Accent on the “BJD”.

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**Author:** ![Earthworm\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f07891/32.png) [@Earthworm\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Earthworm_Jim)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/9 "2004-07-21T17:05:28Z")

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It’s an 18-inch double headed ice blue jelly something or other…

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**Author:** ![Gorsnak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gorsnak/32/7587_2.png) [@Gorsnak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorsnak)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/10 "2004-07-21T17:24:31Z")

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**Tamerlane** ’s name as the most recent poster pretty much guarantees I’ll open it.

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**Author:** ![cards](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ecd19e/32.png) [@cards](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cards)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/11 "2004-07-21T17:45:12Z")

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As a long time lurker, I’ve found over the years that pretty much anything pertaining to sex gets me to look.

Certain posters, if they have an OP will get me also, such as **Sauron** , **Dante** , **Scylla** , **Cervaise** , **Jarbabyj** , **SPOOFE** , **lieu** , **Eve** , etc, just to name a few. There are probably a hundred or so I watch for. No offense if I didn’t call your name, these just came off the top of my head.

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**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/12 "2004-07-21T17:56:41Z")

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> [@](#):
>
> Certain posters, if they have an OP will get me also, such as Sauron , Dante , Scylla , Cervaise , Jarbabyj , SPOOFE , lieu, Eve , etc, just to name a few. There are probably a hundred or so I watch for. No offense if I didn’t call your name, these just came off the top of my head.

**Eve** draws me in too. **Cervaise** most of the time too but I am leery of him. When I disagree with him I _know_ I am right but he writes so damn well I could never argue a point with him.

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**Author:** ![Ephemera](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8baadc/32.png) [@Ephemera](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ephemera)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/13 "2004-07-21T20:32:18Z")

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Anything BtVS, Star Trek, or X-Men related and posts by **Miller** and **Eats\_Crayons** are guaranteed to get me to open a thread.

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**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/14 "2004-07-21T21:05:26Z")

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Maths. Sex.

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**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/15 "2004-07-21T21:24:26Z")

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If the words “bodacious” or “queef” are in the title then color me enthused, especially if they’re next to each other.

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**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\
**Post date:** [July 21, 2004, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/16 "2004-07-21T21:33:18Z")

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Well, any thread that is about something I have above-average knowledge or experiance with I make a bee-line to.

I’m still hoping one will come along. 😉

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**Author:** ![Maxxxie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f14d63/32.png) [@Maxxxie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maxxxie)\
**Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 4:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/17 "2004-07-22T04:15:03Z")

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Three letters: T M I  
😃  
Max.

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**Author:** ![dwc1970](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a183cd/32.png) [@dwc1970](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dwc1970)\
**Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 5:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/18 "2004-07-22T05:20:46Z")

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I also like to look at the closed threads to see why it was closed, and I also look for the bannings. It’s probably the same reason people like to go to car races just to see the wrecks.

I also open a lot of poll threads, “game” threads, and pit rants where I agree with the rant (if I disagree I tend to ignore them, rather than post my objections).

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**Author:** ![Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac8455/32.png) [@Bippy\_the\_Beardless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bippy_the_Beardless)\
**Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/19 "2004-07-22T18:28:42Z")

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Locked threads especially if locked by **coldfire** deffinately, sex threads.  
Posts by **Eve** or **Polycarp**.

I’m just waiting for the **Coldfire** locked thread about **Eve** and **Poly** having sex 😉

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**Author:** ![The\_Stranger\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/87869e/32.png) [@The\_Stranger\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stranger_1)\
**Post date:** [July 22, 2004, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178/20 "2004-07-22T19:14:58Z")

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I look to see the author of the Original post.  
My post count is low, but my lurk time is long; so I know who makes posts worth reading. (Worth reading, IMHO, from my own personal perspective of course.)

I also look for well crafted Subject lines.  
A well written, and informative subject line will get my attention, even if it’s a first time poster.

[Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-one-thing-that-will-make-you-open-a-thread/256178.md?page=2)
