# What is sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 30, 2005, 2:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671 "2005-12-30T02:05:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 15\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/21 "2005-12-30T17:32:37Z")
> [@JSexton](#): > > Is orgasm necessary, though? Actually, no. I didn’t mean that orgasm is necessary to it being “sex” (although I see how it came across that way). I was just highlighting that penetration is not necessary to it being “sex”. > [@D.E.S.K.Top668](#): > > any act involving more then one person where the intent is for at least one person involved to receive sexual gratification is sex Actually, this definition works for me. ---
**Author:** ![CynicalGabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/3e96dc/32.png) [@CynicalGabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CynicalGabe)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/22 "2005-12-30T18:25:51Z")
Since we can’t seem to come up with (ha!) a catch-all definition, we’ll have to go through the possible scenarios one-by-one, and debate the sex-iness of each. ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/23 "2005-12-30T19:02:00Z")
> [@D.E.S.K.Top668](#): > > As for my definition of sex; I’d say that any act involving more then one person where the intent is for at least one person involved to receive sexual gratification is _sex_. > > Just my $.02, DESK Yeah, but you have to be in the same room and touch each other at least occasionally. Phone sex or cybersex isn’t really sex. Well, it would be enough sex that if you did it while married it would be adulterous, but not enough sex that if you did it while single you could tell your friends you had sex with the other person. ---
**Author:** ![raz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@raz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/raz)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/24 "2005-12-30T19:35:35Z")
I usually go by the “penetration” school of thought. I put my number at how many people I’ve actually had intercourse with. Still, I can see how it would make sense to count oral sex. Either way, my number remains the same. I guess I think of “sex” as penetration because I think of sex as a means of reproduction, and you aren’t making babies through blowjobs. ---
**Author:** ![Ensign\_Edison](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7ab992/32.png) [@Ensign\_Edison](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ensign_Edison)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/25 "2005-12-30T20:05:53Z")
Any genital contact is sex, to me. That’s what I think of it as, and that’s what I report. ---
**Author:** ![homeskillet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/7ba0ec/32.png) [@homeskillet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/homeskillet)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/26 "2005-12-30T20:16:53Z")
> [@kanicbird](#): > > I might clarify w/ penatration (with the correct parts in the correct places), and other ‘sexual activities’, or ask them to define what they consider ‘sex’ actually entails. > I wouldn’t say never but it would require a man 😉 > > There really is no good word for ‘sexual activities’ with out P/V penetration, the words ‘sodomy’ and ‘foreplay’ come to mind but neither really nails it. > > I guess you can describe it (oral, anal, mutual masterbation) …and let’s not forget it has to be in the missionary position! ---
**Author:** ![even\_sven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/dfb087/32.png) [@even\_sven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/even_sven)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/27 "2005-12-30T20:17:31Z")
I go by penetration. Blow jobs and masturbation doesn’t really affect much- if it didn’t happen you would have had a crummier night but thats the only real effect. Penetration bring drastically increased STD risk, pregnancy, and changes to the cervix. It’s a different animal. ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/28 "2005-12-30T20:24:52Z")
> [@SmartAleq](#): > > Disclaimer: The above paragraph is informational only and no invitation is expressed or implied… 😉 ☹ ::unpacks bags:: ---
**Author:** ![Gfactor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/9de053/32.png) [@Gfactor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gfactor)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 8:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/29 "2005-12-30T20:36:38Z")
It really depends on who is asking and why. For instance, Dr. Morin’s Sexual Excitement Survey asks: > [@](#): > > How many different sexual partners have you had in your lifetime? (any sexual contact, not necessarily intercourse) [http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/morinses.html](http://www.sexuality.org/l/sex/morinses.html) This is a broad definition. If you limit it to PIV sex, you are excluding quite a bit, but in some circumstances PIV sex is what the questioner really needs to know. For instance, a Kinsey 6 lesbian does not need birth control, but some doctors might approach the subject by asking if she is having sex. _E.g._, [http://www.avert.org/faqcontra.htm](http://www.avert.org/faqcontra.htm) So when somebody asks me, I ask what they mean. ---
**Author:** ![JohnBckWLD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/d6d6ee/32.png) [@JohnBckWLD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JohnBckWLD)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/30 "2005-12-30T20:37:15Z")
> [@ZebraShaSha](#): > > I’ll be the first to make the reference…Dante: You sucked his dick! So if a man is found dead, with a broken neck and his balls resting on his lips, was it sex or masturbation? All this sex / bj talk reminds me of my fave quote regarding the Clinton/Lewinsky impeachment debacle: > [@Dick Armey](#): > > "If I were in the President’s place I would not have gotten a chance to resign. I would be laying in a pool of my own blood, hearing Mrs. Armey standing over me saying, “How do I reload this damn thing?” ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/31 "2005-12-30T21:02:19Z")
> [@Lemur866](#): > > Yeah, but you have to be in the same room and touch each other at least occasionally. Phone sex or cybersex isn’t really sex. Well, it would be enough sex that if you did it while married it would be adulterous, but not enough sex that if you did it while single you could tell your friends you had sex with the other person. @\*#^$, knew I forgot something. Let’s ammend it to "As for my definition of sex; any **physical** act involving more then one person where the intent is for at least one person involved to receive sexual gratification is sex. Peace - DESK ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/32 "2005-12-30T21:17:00Z")
> [@CynicalGabe](#): > > Since we can’t seem to come up with (ha!) a catch-all definition, we’ll have to go through the possible scenarios one-by-one, and debate the sex-iness of each. Okay. You start! 😉 > [@even sven](#): > > I go by penetration. Blow jobs and masturbation doesn’t really affect much- if it didn’t happen you would have had a crummier night but thats the only real effect. Blow jobs \*are \*penetration, with a risk of disease transmission. It’s a smaller risk than vaginal or anal intercourse, but not nonexistant. Hell, on any given day, I’m far more likely to have a small open wound in my mouth than in my vagina. > [@D.E.S.K.Top668](#): > > As for my definition of sex; any \*\*physical \*\* act involving more then one person where the intent is for at least one person involved to receive sexual gratification is sex Mutual masturbation = sex or no? (FWIW, I say yes.) ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/33 "2005-12-30T21:27:41Z")
Mutual masturbation, to me, is sex. More then one person is physically present and physically involved and it’s for sexual gratification. Peace - DESK ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/34 "2005-12-30T21:58:30Z")
> [@even sven](#): > > I go by penetration. Blow jobs and masturbation doesn’t really affect much- if it didn’t happen you would have had a crummier night but thats the only real effect. Penetration bring drastically increased STD risk, pregnancy, and changes to the cervix. It’s a different animal. Look, oral sex is sex, otherwise gay men and lesbians would be virgins. I don’t think “Honey, I didn’t have sex with him, I just sucked his cock until he came in my mouth!” would fly as an excuse if I tried saying it to my wife. And oral sex IS penetration. Yeah, I’ll go along with the idea that oral sex is a bit “lighter” than intercourse or anal sex, but it’s still sex, that’s why they call it oral sex instead of oral-something-other-than-sex. ---
**Author:** ![imthjckaz](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/imthjckaz/32/3223_2.png) [@imthjckaz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/imthjckaz)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2005, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671/35 "2005-12-30T22:16:31Z")
> [@spankari](#): > > When someone asks how many people you’ve had sex with, would you count all sexual encounters or just the ones where penetration is involved? I tend to omit anything from my list that doesn’t involve penetration (such as oral sex). Bill Clinton is member of the SDMB! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-sex/337671.md?page=1)