# What is something you see in a young couple that makes you think "they're gonna last." **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 6, 2016, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663 "2016-06-06T16:54:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Oedipus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Oedipus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Oedipus)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 4:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/1 "2016-06-06T16:54:58Z")
title ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/2 "2016-06-06T16:59:45Z")
When they’re better people being together than apart. I don’t just mean when they are in the same room, but by the fact of having this other person in their lives. ---
**Author:** ![elninost0rm](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ed655f/32.png) [@elninost0rm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elninost0rm)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/3 "2016-06-06T17:08:31Z")
If I know they plan on having no kids and have no financial issues to speak of. ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/4 "2016-06-06T17:17:05Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > When they’re better people being together than apart. I don’t just mean when they are in the same room, but by the fact of having this other person in their lives. That’s a good one. Also when they speak to and about one another with respect. It can include teasing, but if it’s it’s nasty now, it’ll only get nastier. ---
**Author:** ![WordMan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e8c25b/32.png) [@WordMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WordMan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/5 "2016-06-06T17:17:12Z")
If they treat each other with trust and respect, and they communicate effectively with each other when there is a disagreement. No couple agrees on everything, but if those qualities are in place, they can work it out. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 5:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/6 "2016-06-06T17:19:23Z")
Effective communication. When they can argue a topic without it escalating into personal insults. ---
**Author:** ![dracoi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/90db22/32.png) [@dracoi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dracoi)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 5:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/7 "2016-06-06T17:32:20Z")
Mostly I look for everything that isn’t based on emotion. Common goals and strong communication skills are two of the key elements. “We’re just so in love!” is a recipe for failure without a real foundation under it. Love is only good for about two years in a relationship before you have to start working together in more substantial ways. (I’m not cynically saying that the love goes away, mind you, just that there will be challenges that take more than emotion to solve.) ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/8 "2016-06-06T19:11:52Z")
I’ll let you know as soon as I see it. ---
**Author:** ![DrFidelius](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/drfidelius/32/3447_2.png) [@DrFidelius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrFidelius)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/9 "2016-06-06T19:22:14Z")
> [@Oedipus](#): > > title That’s an unfortunate username/ topic combo. ---
**Author:** ![Taco\_the\_cat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@Taco\_the\_cat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Taco_the_cat)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/10 "2016-06-06T19:45:41Z")
This is just my imagination, but when both people are mature, emotionally stable, and believe s/he is lucky to have the other then maybe… ---
**Author:** ![Ethilrist](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ethilrist/32/4604_2.png) [@Ethilrist](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ethilrist)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/11 "2016-06-06T19:56:06Z")
If they handle minor crises well, and together: flat tires, sudden rainstorm during the picnic, flooded basement, getting lost, unexpected guests… ---
**Author:** ![elbows](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/b3f665/32.png) [@elbows](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elbows)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 8:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/12 "2016-06-06T20:41:35Z")
When one is verging on righteously losing it over some aggravating circumstance or other, and the partner can lift their spirits. With a few words get them chuckling, even grudgingly and…they’re over it and on to whatever’s next! That right there IS what makes the world go around in my opinion! ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 8:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/13 "2016-06-06T20:52:59Z")
They agree on pets. Seriously. If he hates her dog, and is just putting up with it, and telling people there won’t be another one after this one, alarm bells go off. If they both hate pets, and neither one wants any, that’s OK too, but they need to agree. ---
**Author:** ![jtur88](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e9c0ed/32.png) [@jtur88](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jtur88)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/14 "2016-06-06T21:51:05Z")
Whenever they walk within arm’s reach of each other, they touch one another as they pass by. They both completely trust each other to never, ever do or say anything intended to hurt, physically or emotionally. ---
**Author:** ![67java89](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/6/aeb1de/32.png) [@67java89](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/67java89)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/15 "2016-06-06T22:43:53Z")
Respect for each other. It’s hard to fake that. ---
**Author:** ![grannan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f1d935/32.png) [@grannan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/grannan)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/16 "2016-06-06T22:59:26Z")
When the two hearts beat as one ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/17 "2016-06-06T23:00:08Z")
A rich father-in-law. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2016, 11:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/18 "2016-06-06T23:10:58Z")
> [@Oedipus](#): > > title Vacillating Nobles? Hmmm… ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/19 "2016-06-07T00:12:15Z")
Maybe tea leaves. Someone I know was married for four years, divorced, then married for four years, then divorced. Then he married a third time. Another acquaintance predicted that would never last (he didn’t like wife III). Well Wife III is a wonderful woman and they are getting very close to their 50th anniversary. ---
**Author:** ![spamforbrains](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e274bd/32.png) [@spamforbrains](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/spamforbrains)\ **Post date:** [June 7, 2016, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663/20 "2016-06-07T01:45:26Z")
If they aren’t young? Most young couples eventually break up. Older people who couple up are much less likely to do so. Probably because young people change a lot. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-something-you-see-in-a-young-couple-that-makes-you-think-theyre-gonna-last/756663.md?page=2)