# What is the best bumper sticker you've ever read? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 4, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984 "2006-02-04T13:37:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/21 "2006-02-04T18:17:01Z")
> [@Pjen](#): > > and: > > [http://www.cafepress.com/ibs1.12226741](http://www.cafepress.com/ibs1.12226741) > > Somewhere in Texas a village is missing its idiot. This reminds me of the _Monty Python_ sketch featuring John Cleese as the village idiot. ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/22 "2006-02-04T18:17:56Z")
KANSAS: AS BIGOTED AS YOU THINK. A play on a state tourism board phrase “Kansas: As Big As You Think” ---
**Author:** ![JKellyMap](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jkellymap/32/15880_2.png) [@JKellyMap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JKellyMap)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/23 "2006-02-04T18:20:25Z")
BRING VERMONT FORWARD. It was a response to a xenophobic campaign to “Take Vermont Back” (from them no-good gentrifyin’ New Yorkers, etc.) ---
**Author:** ![Scarlett67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scarlett67/32/7387_2.png) [@Scarlett67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scarlett67)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 6:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/24 "2006-02-04T18:22:37Z")
> [@Shana](#): > > Hm, I’m rather fond of these two. Or at any rate, I’ve never forgotten them! > > **God bless the freaks** I have this one. I love it too! ---
**Author:** ![An\_Arky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/87869e/32.png) [@An\_Arky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/An_Arky)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/25 "2006-02-04T18:37:33Z")
_Visualize Using Your Turn Signal_, a takeoff on the _Visualize World Peace_ sticker. ---
**Author:** ![Mahaloth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mahaloth/32/1079_2.png) [@Mahaloth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mahaloth)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/26 "2006-02-04T18:43:52Z")
I always liked George Calrin’s suggestion: “I am the proud parent of a child whose self esteem is sufficient enough, he doesn’t need me to celebrate his minor scholastic achievements on the back of my car.” or “My child sold drugs to your honor roll student.” ---
**Author:** ![Jet\_Jaguar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jet_jaguar/32/3562_2.png) [@Jet\_Jaguar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jet_Jaguar)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/27 "2006-02-04T19:01:27Z")
At Biketoberfest last year I saw this sticker on a Harley Road King that looked like it’s been places. It was made up to look just like a manufacturer’s warning label: ```auto Warning! - If this bike is on a trailer, it is being stolen. - If this bike is in a truck or a van, it is being stolen. ``` (You see, it’s funny if you knew how many of the bikes there were just trailered to the event to be used as bar-hopping ass jewelry.) ---
**Author:** ![soulmurk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/b782af/32.png) [@soulmurk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/soulmurk)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/28 "2006-02-04T19:08:48Z")
My Karma ran over your Dogma and God was my co-pilot but we crashed in the mountains and I had to eat him and Born OK the first time always make me chuckle when I see them. ---
**Author:** ![ivylass](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/9de053/32.png) [@ivylass](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ivylass)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/29 "2006-02-04T19:17:38Z")
I like **My (breed of dog) is smarter than your honor student** and **Meddle not in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and taste good with ketchup**. ---
**Author:** ![5\_time\_champ](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/5/278dde/32.png) [@5\_time\_champ](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/5_time_champ)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/30 "2006-02-04T19:32:28Z")
If you don’t like how I drive- stay off the sidewalk ---
**Author:** ![Si\_Amigo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/si_amigo/32/2877_2.png) [@Si\_Amigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Si_Amigo)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/31 "2006-02-04T19:38:12Z")
Not a sticker, but I did pull up behind a biker wearing tee that said “If you can read this, my bitch fell off”. ---
**Author:** ![initech](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/439d5e/32.png) [@initech](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/initech)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/32 "2006-02-04T19:45:14Z")
Remember the temporarily ubiquitous “Mean People Suck” bumper stickers? Little black squares with white, bold type? My favorite was a bumper sticker in exactly the same style: “Don’t Be a Pussy.” My local favorite: “Keep Portland Weird” ---
**Author:** ![pokey](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ebca7d/32.png) [@pokey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pokey)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/33 "2006-02-04T20:03:50Z")
> [@Si Amigo](#): > > Not a sticker, but I did pull up behind a biker wearing tee that said “If you can read this, my bitch fell off”. That reminds me of a bumpersticker I didn’t see, but read about that said something like, “If you can read this where the hell is my trailer?” That seemed hilarious to me for years until I just typed it out right now and now it seems kind of lame. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/34 "2006-02-04T20:39:08Z")
When I was in college, I saw where someone took a couple of PURDUE UNIVERSITY window stickers and came up with UNDUE PERVERSITY. :eek: ---
**Author:** ![Anastasaeon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Anastasaeon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anastasaeon)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/35 "2006-02-04T21:03:04Z")
God is my co-pilot, but the Devil is my bombardier Jesus saves, Moses invests, but only Buddha gives Dividends You found God? If nobody claims him in 30 days, he’s yours! Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again Rock is dead. Long live paper and scissors. Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition. Procrastinate now. ---
**Author:** ![Biggirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/biggirl/32/3294_2.png) [@Biggirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Biggirl)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/36 "2006-02-04T21:09:55Z")
PETA: People Eating Tasty Animals. ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/37 "2006-02-04T22:02:05Z")
> [@WordMan](#): > > My favorite was a variant of the “I \ my \” - instead, it read: > > I \ my \ Did you happen to see this on a tan 1988 Nissan Stanza Station Wagon? If so, that was probably my mom’s car. She had that bumper sticker for years, and in fact I don’t think I’ve ever seen any other car with it. ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [February 4, 2006, 10:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/38 "2006-02-04T22:15:09Z")
Back when those “Eat Meat” Carl’s Jr. bumper stickers were around, I saw one person who had apparently taken scissors to a couple of them and created “Eat Cat Meat at (Carl’s Jr. logo)” ---
**Author:** ![RunSilent](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e0b2c6/32.png) [@RunSilent](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RunSilent)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/39 "2006-02-05T00:43:15Z")
Question Leftist Authority Socialism: Don’t Believe the Hype ---
**Author:** ![TastesLikeBurning](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/839c29/32.png) [@TastesLikeBurning](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TastesLikeBurning)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 1:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/40 "2006-02-05T01:03:18Z")
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