# What is the best bumper sticker you've ever read? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 4, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984 "2006-02-04T13:37:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/61 "2006-02-05T12:42:59Z")
It may have been on the vehicle itself, or it may have been a bumper sticker, but in whichever case it was in writing that would be about right for the phone book: **Trucks stay 300 feet behind** ---
**Author:** ![the\_PC\_apeman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ac8455/32.png) [@the\_PC\_apeman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/the_PC_apeman)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/62 "2006-02-05T14:57:56Z")
Bush - Like a Rock only dumber Nobody died when Clinton lied ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/63 "2006-02-05T15:45:07Z")
“There’s a village in Texas missing an idiot” I think I just hurt myself! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/64 "2006-02-05T15:49:55Z")
> [@NurseCarmen](#): > > [Cite!?](http://www.sickslug.com) Cool! 🆒 My favorites list is getting _way_ too ling ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/65 "2006-02-05T15:53:05Z")
> [@mangeorge](#): > > “There’s a village in Texas missing an idiot” > I think I just hurt myself! > 😃 Oops. Sorry **Large Marge**. I do love that one. mangeorge Also; “ling” = “long” in Berkeley. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Bertie\_Wooster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/58f4c7/32.png) [@Bertie\_Wooster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bertie_Wooster)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 5:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/66 "2006-02-05T17:57:58Z")
**If you won’t talk to your kids about indexing, who will?** Given out by a professional association of indexers. ---
**Author:** ![asterion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/4da419/32.png) [@asterion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/asterion)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/67 "2006-02-05T18:20:57Z")
I saw one today along the lines of “My wife is a font of sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.” Not that I particularly like it, but I thought I’d just throw it out there. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/68 "2006-02-05T19:00:45Z")
> [@Snowboarder Bo](#): > > I have on on my truck that says it all: > > I PWN NOOBS > > It makes me laugh everytime I even think about it. 😛 [http://www.galactanet.com/comic/79.htm](http://www.galactanet.com/comic/79.htm) ---
**Author:** ![jmac755](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@jmac755](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmac755)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/69 "2006-02-05T19:20:09Z")
WXRT God Bless Lou Reed in-out _urge_ i also like the darwin fish with legs applique cheers, ---
**Author:** ![neofishboy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/neofishboy/32/444_2.png) [@neofishboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/neofishboy)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/70 "2006-02-05T19:38:27Z")
> [@mangeorge](#): > > "If this van is rockin’, don’t bother knockin’. My best friend got this one for his '67 Cadillac Hearse. It narrowly won out over “Shit Happens” and “I’d Rather Be Fishing.” ---
**Author:** ![Polerius](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/d78d45/32.png) [@Polerius](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Polerius)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/71 "2006-02-05T19:49:20Z")
“My other car is a piece of shit too” “Make love, not war. See driver for details” “I love animals. They taste great” (A bit crass, but funny) I didn’t like the following one, but I thought the ending was funny: A car had “All men are idiots, and I married their king”. As I passed the car, I saw a man driving it. I thought that he _must_ be an idiot for driving a car on which his wife had added that bumper sticker. ---
**Author:** ![mangeorge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d78d45/32.png) [@mangeorge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mangeorge)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/72 "2006-02-05T20:21:12Z")
> [@Polerius](#): > > “My other car is a piece of shit too” > > “Make love, not war. See driver for details” > > “I love animals. They taste great” (A bit crass, but funny) > > I didn’t like the following one, but I thought the ending was funny: > A car had “All men are idiots, and I married their king”. As I passed the car, I saw a man driving it. I thought that he _must_ be an idiot for driving a car on which his wife had added that bumper sticker. So, you assumed. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![ITR\_champion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/c67d28/32.png) [@ITR\_champion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ITR_champion)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/73 "2006-02-05T21:23:13Z")
War stops a beating heart. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/74 "2006-02-05T21:52:48Z")
Long ago, on a busy roadway in New Jersey, I inadvertently ran over a small animal (opossum). After my initial feeling of remorse for the newly compressed marsupial, I was overcome with embarrassment, realizing that the people behind me, reading my recently applied bumper sticker, were certainly drawing a logical conclusion about my nefarious driving agenda. The soon to be torn off bumper sticker read: Caution, I speed up to run over small animals :o ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/75 "2006-02-05T22:50:19Z")
**Escape _FROM_ Wisconsin** A satire of the “escape to wisconsin” tourism slogan. **[Stop Global Whining](http://www.natashascafe.com/images/photos/bumperwhining.gif)** A satire on global warming. ---
**Author:** ![D.E.S.K.Top668](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@D.E.S.K.Top668](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D.E.S.K.Top668)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/76 "2006-02-05T23:09:57Z")
All on the same car; Isis! Isis! Ra! Ra! Ra!, Ankh if you love Isis, and GOP does not spell God. Peace - DESK ---
**Author:** ![liirogue](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dbc845/32.png) [@liirogue](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/liirogue)\ **Post date:** [February 5, 2006, 11:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/77 "2006-02-05T23:43:53Z")
Class of 1491: The World Is Round (not true, but I still laugh every time I see it hanging up in this prof’s office) ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/78 "2006-02-06T13:24:17Z")
When I was about 19 or 20, I had two stickers on my car that I loved. One was the famous: Don’t like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT and Moody bitch seeks kind, considerate guy for love/hate relationship The scary part was how often I got approached and hit on because of the second sticker. “Hey, where do I apply??” ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/79 "2006-02-06T14:44:38Z")
“I support the right to keep and arm bears.” “Death before Dishonor. Nothing before Coffee!!” “We need some old time religion! HAIL ZEUS!” “My son and my money go to Texas A&M University.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2006, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/80 "2006-02-06T14:51:59Z")
After all the Jesus Fish, followed by Darwin Fish, Fish eating other fish, Cthulhu fish, and the like, I have to admit that I really like the Christian Fish outline that has, written within it: **GHOTI**. There are a lot of very witty bumper stickers available from Nancy Buttons, saying the same things as the buttons: [http://www.nancybuttons.com/catalog.cgi?action=browse&](http://www.nancybuttons.com/catalog.cgi?action=browse&) [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984.md?page=5)