# What is the best bumper sticker you've ever read? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 4, 2006, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984 "2006-02-04T13:37:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![Otanx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Otanx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otanx)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 1:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/101 "2006-02-07T13:34:41Z")
I got “I’d rather be Cummin than Strokin’” on my Dodge diesel truck. Get all kinds of comments on it. My mom’s car has the license plate SWMBO (She Who Must Be Obayed) -Otanx ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 7, 2006, 6:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/102 "2006-02-07T18:45:15Z")
**Politicians and diapers need to be changed – often for the same reason** ---
**Author:** ![jmac755](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c37758/32.png) [@jmac755](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jmac755)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 1:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/103 "2006-02-08T01:29:44Z")
i forget this one: the moral majority is neither sláinte, j ---
**Author:** ![Arianne\_aka\_Hey\_You](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/73ab20/32.png) [@Arianne\_aka\_Hey\_You](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Arianne_aka_Hey_You)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/104 "2006-02-08T02:51:09Z")
How about: Sex Instructor: First Lesson Free ? I had a friend who pasted that on his father-in-law’s brand new conversion van after a trip into the local microbrewery on a ski trip. The really fun part is that we became an urban legend, since the resort we were staying in had a bus that took guests to and from town, and the driver saw him put it up. The next day, a cousin came in to stay and heard from the same driver about how “There was this bunch of drunk Texans last night …” ---
**Author:** ![magpyre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/9fc29f/32.png) [@magpyre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/magpyre)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/105 "2006-02-08T03:05:50Z")
I had : If you Beieve in Telekinesis Raise My Hand. Not the same thing but funny… I was waiting at a roundabout [UK] and a dirty van went by with a young guy in the passenger seat smiling, under the window someone had written in the dirt “This Man Has No Penis” I was laughing my ass off, I bet the young man couldnt understand why everyone was smiling and laughing as he went by. ---
**Author:** ![tesseract](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bb73d2/32.png) [@tesseract](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tesseract)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/106 "2006-02-08T05:33:13Z")
If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat? ---
**Author:** ![jormundgondir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/dfb087/32.png) [@jormundgondir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jormundgondir)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/107 "2006-02-08T06:19:13Z")
> [@Taber](#): > > a giant ribbon al’a the support the troops ribbons that says “My ribbon is bigger than yours” Saw one on the 80 the other day: red white and blue ribbon up one side, next to text “I SUPPORT MEANINGLESS JINGOISTIC CLICHES” ---
**Author:** ![Alan\_Smithee](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/2acd7d/32.png) [@Alan\_Smithee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alan_Smithee)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 7:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/108 "2006-02-08T07:19:55Z")
My all-time favorite is the already mentioned “Forget world peace: visualize using your turn signal!” Someone once showed me a magnetic yellow ribbon he had yet to affix to his car which said (in exactly the smae script usually used for “Support our troops”) “Support the magnetic yellow ribbon industry”! A friend in Colorado had a wonderfully enigmatic sticker from the local Chamber of Commerce that said “Everyone loses with potato bruises.” Because of it, I’ve occasionally used the alternate username “potatobruises” on the internet. ---
**Author:** ![Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hilarity_n.suze/32/6223_2.png) [@Hilarity\_N.Suze](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hilarity_N.Suze)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/109 "2006-02-08T08:19:01Z")
> [@Beware of Doug](#): > > I haven’t seen this in 25 years, but it was a bumper sticker that just read: > > **BUMPER STICKER** I got one of those in a _MAD_ magazine! I saved it for years, until I was old enough to drive…it’s one of only two bumperstickers I’ve ever put on a car. I like “Honk if I’m an Aggie.” You reallly have to think about that one. Well, nto for too long. One that made me laugh out loud was something I would normally have just considered vulgar. The car was a really scrofulous Datsun, vintage about 1966, with non-matching doors, peeling and/or worn-off silver paint, one window duct-taped over, hatchback held down with baling wire, and faded purple shag carpeting glued (or maybe just sitting) in the hatchback cargo area. Bumper sticker:“My other car is a piece of shit.” ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/110 "2006-02-08T09:04:24Z")
My faves… Don’t tell my mom you saw me here, she thinks I play piano in a whorehouse. I miss my ex but my aim is improving. Driver only carries $20 in ammunition. ---
**Author:** ![Siege](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dbc845/32.png) [@Siege](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Siege)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 11:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/111 "2006-02-08T11:20:16Z")
I’ll second this one: **Caution: I drive like you do.** I also saw one before the 2000 elections which I liked: **Read my lips. No new Texans!** There’s also one I’ve seen on cars parked outside my church several times: **For the separation of church and hate** and its counterpart: **Hate is not a family value** CJ ---
**Author:** ![Mama\_Zappa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/71e660/32.png) [@Mama\_Zappa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mama_Zappa)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/112 "2006-02-08T18:56:18Z")
Harmless patriotic message not intended as humorous or snarky in any way: “Quality - an American Achievement”. Until you parsed the fact that the car sporting this was a Toyota. :smack: Seen years ago in North Carolina, and still making me snicker nearly 2 decades later. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![bauble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/f6c823/32.png) [@bauble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/bauble)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 10:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/113 "2006-02-08T22:57:26Z")
My favorite, seen years ago: “It may not be the Mayflower, but your daughter came across in it.” ---
**Author:** ![Annie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/858c86/32.png) [@Annie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 11:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/114 "2006-02-08T23:34:11Z")
> [@CalMeacham](#): > > There are a lot of very witty bumper stickers available from Nancy Buttons, saying the same things as the buttons: > [Calligraphic Button Catalogue](http://www.nancybuttons.com/catalog.cgi?action=browse&) Oh, new sig for the file: **Get thee down. Be thou funky.** ---
**Author:** ![Zeldar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/b77776/32.png) [@Zeldar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zeldar)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2006, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/115 "2006-02-08T23:52:26Z")
> [@Annie](#): > > Oh, new sig for the file: **Get thee down. Be thou funky.** Neat! Believe it or not, there was a funk/jazz group called the Headhunters who did some things with Herbie Hancock during his electric period. They had an album of their own where one of the tracks was _God Make Me Funky_. Righteous song. Infectious beat. ---
**Author:** ![Large\_Marge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/50afbb/32.png) [@Large\_Marge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Large_Marge)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/116 "2006-02-09T01:46:19Z")
> [@tesseract](#): > > If God didn’t want us to eat animals, why did he make them out of meat? _Hilarious!_ This made me laugh so hard, I scared the dogs. ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 4:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/117 "2006-02-09T04:10:22Z")
Another I’ve never seen but would like to: **GET THE PARANOIDS! (God forbid they should be disappointed.)** ---
**Author:** ![Raguleader](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/258eb7/32.png) [@Raguleader](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Raguleader)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/118 "2006-02-09T06:18:21Z")
> [@Siege](#): > > I also saw one before the 2000 elections which I liked: > **Read my lips. No new Texans!** OK, maybe I’m missing the point here, but wasn’t the “Read My Lips” guy (President George H. W. Bush, AKA “41”) from Massachusets, and not Texas? 😃 That said, I rather like 41, having had a chance to see him speak at my school (I was totally sitting 15 feet away from him. I nearly ran over a Secret Service agent on my bike earlier the same day when I was tearing accross campus.) He’s a REALLY funny guy, especially when he does a H. Ross Perot impersonation. ---
**Author:** ![Hung\_Mung](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a88e4f/32.png) [@Hung\_Mung](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hung_Mung)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 11:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/119 "2006-02-09T11:49:42Z")
WWJB? Who Would Jesus Bomb? ---
**Author:** ![silk1976](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8edcca/32.png) [@silk1976](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silk1976)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2006, 12:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984/120 "2006-02-09T12:05:44Z")
saw this one yesterday on an audi (not really a bumper sticker, more of a square sticker on a small triangular back window) ONE LESS SUV [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-bumper-sticker-youve-ever-read/342984.md?page=7)