# What is the best way to go from zero to drunk in twenty dollars? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 8, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259 "2003-04-08T06:39:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Muad\_Dib](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/35a633/32.png) [@Muad\_Dib](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muad_Dib)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/1 "2003-04-08T06:39:16Z")
Any suggestions? I am looking for deepness and sustainability. The problem is that I _hate_ alcohol. The stuff makes me want to wretch. I can barely choke it down, and not without holding my nose, wincing, and feeling a little nausea. I can sorta handle mixed drinks. I find that sweet and sour mix is the greatest cover ever made, so Long Island Iced Teas are drinkable. SO what do you guys think. Also, this will not be at a bar, but at my house, alone, in the dark. ---
**Author:** ![guava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/71e660/32.png) [@guava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/guava)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 6:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/2 "2003-04-08T06:43:21Z")
Aqua Velva aftershave seemed to be the high-inducing liquid of choice in our city slum. ---
**Author:** ![DreadCthulhu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/db5fbb/32.png) [@DreadCthulhu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DreadCthulhu)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 7:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/3 "2003-04-08T07:14:55Z")
Cheap Vodka, just drink it fast, or mix with soda. ---
**Author:** ![Doomtrain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/0ea827/32.png) [@Doomtrain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Doomtrain)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 7:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/4 "2003-04-08T07:23:00Z")
Schnapps… ---
**Author:** ![aeropl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f05b48/32.png) [@aeropl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aeropl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 7:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/5 "2003-04-08T07:41:43Z")
There’s always that antifreeze stuff. If animals can get drunk off it so can you, right? For twenty bucks you could get a couple of gallons and I’ve even heard that it’s sweet. ---
**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 8:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/6 "2003-04-08T08:15:13Z")
Any mixed drink with lots of sugar (i.e. soda or sweet fruit juices). ---
**Author:** ![t-keela](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a3d4f5/32.png) [@t-keela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/t-keela)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 8:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/7 "2003-04-08T08:19:55Z")
A pint or two of 190 proof Everclear mixed with the fruit juice of your choice WILL FUCK YOU UP… ---
**Author:** ![Dunderman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ecb155/32.png) [@Dunderman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dunderman)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 9:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/8 "2003-04-08T09:31:49Z")
A Japanese bar I went to served saké for next to no money. Cups of steaming hot saké, so hot you don’t even taste it. It’s nothing but heat, it seems. Twenty dollars would get you roaring drunk on that. ---
**Author:** ![Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Harvey\_The\_Heavy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harvey_The_Heavy)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 9:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/9 "2003-04-08T09:55:57Z")
Cheap malt liquor. St. Ides or Olde English 800. ---
**Author:** ![Tomcat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Tomcat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tomcat)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/10 "2003-04-08T10:24:35Z")
What, no mention of Mad Dog 20/20 yet? You folks have got to get out more! If you are going to have a good home alone pity drunk, nothing beats MD 20/20. Watermelon is a bit weird, but the tropical fruit one isn’t so bad. But for old time’s sake, trust the Grape flavoured. 1 large bottle for under $8 will do the trick. 2 and you start risking alcohol poisoning (seriously). MD 20/20, the only time I’ve been hung-over by 2 in the afternoon (Boulder Kinetics race in Colorado, started drinking at 8 am, passed out by 11, woke up HUNG-OVER a few hours later on the edge of Boulder Resevoir…). -Tcat ---
**Author:** ![manwithaplan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f1d935/32.png) [@manwithaplan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/manwithaplan)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 10:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/11 "2003-04-08T10:42:14Z")
Try whiskey in coffee. The coffee hides the whiskey taste pretty well. Don’t bother with any Irish coffeeish trimmings - a bottle of whiskey, a jar of instant and a kettle is all you need (apart from milk and sugar if that’s your thing). You can start small and increase the whiskey content as you become ‘de-sensitised’. However, if it’s a melancholy drunkenness you’re after, the coffee buzz mightn’t be for you. ---
**Author:** ![mazirian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/46a35a/32.png) [@mazirian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mazirian)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/12 "2003-04-08T11:01:29Z")
Moonshine enema. ---
**Author:** ![Pebbles131](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/eada6e/32.png) [@Pebbles131](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pebbles131)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/13 "2003-04-08T11:15:06Z")
Aftershock…never fails! And it should also help any sinus congestion problems you may be experiencing too. ---
**Author:** ![ShibbOleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/848f3c/32.png) [@ShibbOleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ShibbOleth)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/14 "2003-04-08T11:26:23Z")
**Muad’dib** , while I applaud your quest for knowledge here, I question your objective. Why do you want to do this? Maybe talking with a friend would be a better goal. Drinking with the express purpose of getting drunk is usually a warning sign, even if it only warns that you are a college freshman. If you don’t even like the taste of alcohol, why do this? Please reconsider. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/15 "2003-04-08T11:35:05Z")
2/3 bottles of cheap wine. Drink them each in one large gulp. Tried it with two bottles in my youth and got rather drunk in about 5min’s. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/16 "2003-04-08T13:37:46Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by ShibbOleth \* > \*\ ***Muad’dib** , while I applaud your quest for knowledge here, I question your objective. Why do you want to do this? Maybe talking with a friend would be a better goal. > > Drinking with the express purpose of getting drunk is usually a warning sign, even if it only warns that you are a college freshman. If you don’t even like the taste of alcohol, why do this? > > Please reconsider. \*\* Yeah, what he said. Believe me, I am _not_ a prude when it comes to alcohol, but trying to get completely hammered, alone in the dark, when you can’t stand the taste sets off all sorts of warning bells. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/17 "2003-04-08T14:19:27Z")
For twenty bucks, just buy a cheap case of beer, then beer bong it. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/18 "2003-04-08T14:31:40Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by t-keela \* > \*\*A pint or two of 190 proof Everclear mixed with the fruit juice of your choice WILL FUCK YOU UP… \*\* I traded shots of that stuff with a couple of friends. It’s horribly rough on the stomach, especially when it’s warm. (Barfy smile?) I’d say aristocrate vodka and sprite/seven-up. You can mix it fairly heavy on the alcohol and not taste it. That or a bottle of wine. It takes two bottles to get me quite drunk, but one should get you a pretty good buzz. ---
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/19 "2003-04-08T14:38:05Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by t-keela \* > \*\*A pint or two of 190 proof Everclear mixed with the fruit juice of your choice WILL FUCK YOU UP… \*\* I traded shots of that stuff with a couple of friends. It’s horribly rough on the stomach, especially when it’s warm. (Barfy smile?) I’d say aristocrate vodka and sprite/seven-up. You can mix it fairly heavy on the alcohol and not taste it. That or a bottle of wine. It takes two bottles to get me quite drunk, but one should get you a pretty good buzz. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/20 "2003-04-08T14:41:24Z")
May be pushing the $20 limit, but a bottle of decent vodka, and a bottle of Kahlua (although you can buy any generic “cacoa liqour” for about 1/2 the price, with no discernable taste difference, and a half gallon of whole milk. The White Russian: 2 parts vodka 1 part Kahlua (or Kahlua knockoff, which is my usual plan) 1 part milk. Yum. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259.md?page=2)