# What is the best way to go from zero to drunk in twenty dollars? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 8, 2003, 6:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259 "2003-04-08T06:39:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/21 "2003-04-08T14:53:24Z")
**mouthbreather** -Maybe it’s just me, but I can’t get drunk off of ‘thick’ drinks. Well, I mean _I can get drunk_ but when I do I end up coloring the walls with wonderfully decorative vomit. ---
**Author:** ![Gorgon\_Heap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/f475e1/32.png) [@Gorgon\_Heap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gorgon_Heap)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/22 "2003-04-08T14:54:57Z")
Mud-slide mix. ---
**Author:** ![mouthbreather](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a698b9/32.png) [@mouthbreather](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mouthbreather)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 2:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/23 "2003-04-08T14:58:20Z")
Meatros: I do fine with thick drinks, it’s the straight “sugar liquors” that make me redocorate my bathroom…the Aftershock/Goldschlager/Jagermeister types. Blech. ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/24 "2003-04-08T15:30:07Z")
4 shots of straight vodka on an empty stomach. to truly activate the alcohol you need a white wine chaser on top though… but just the one. what? WHAT?? _seriously, this works, and you end up nice and fuzzy, although i have a stomach of iron and don’t throw-up or get hangovers, so YMMV_ ---
**Author:** ![irishgirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/8edcca/32.png) [@irishgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/irishgirl)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/25 "2003-04-08T15:32:57Z")
or there’s always Buckfast tonic wine. 9 out of 10 homeless winos prefer it. ---
**Author:** ![DrLizardo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/5fc32e/32.png) [@DrLizardo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrLizardo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/26 "2003-04-08T15:36:58Z")
In the very-strong-doesn’t-taste-like-it category, and much easier to whip up yourself than LI Iced Tea; the Kamikaze (For $20 you should be able to whip up quite a batch): 1 part cheap vodka, 1 part cheap triple-sec, 1 part lemon juice. Tastes like lemonade, covers the alkie taste well, not sickly sweet, and it is deadly strong… If you’re really determined, past experimentation has shown you can increase vodka to 1.5 parts without noticeably increasing the “alcoholic” perception (Note: test subjects were entirely 18-20 year old sorority girls, so YMMV). ---
**Author:** ![Rebo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rebo/32/13005_2.png) [@Rebo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rebo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/27 "2003-04-08T15:45:46Z")
3 or 4 beers and a shot of Goldschlager… ---
**Author:** ![Dinsdale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/97f17d/32.png) [@Dinsdale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dinsdale)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/28 "2003-04-08T16:22:31Z")
I’d recommend rum, vodka, or maybe tequila, mixed with the juice(s) of your preference. If you wish to play with the blender, mix up some stiff smoothies. ---
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/29 "2003-04-08T16:40:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by DreadCthulhu \* > \*\*Cheap Vodka, just drink it fast, or mix with soda. \*\* Ha Ha Ha! This is exactly what I do! A pint of Barton’s for $2.99. Take a swig and swallow while holding breath, chase with flavored soda of your choice. hrh ---
**Author:** ![IAM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/58956e/32.png) [@IAM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IAM)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 4:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/30 "2003-04-08T16:46:29Z")
I hate alcohol too!!! As a result I very rarely go out drinking. But I have found that when I need a drink or whatever an Amaretto Sour is the only thing I can stand. Now, when my goal is to get drunk. I go for shots!!! They are quick and strong… and I do not have to have the taste of liquor in my mouth all night. With a limited budget of $20.00 you can get 4 Liquid Cocaines and that usually leaves me pretty trashed. Happy drunkedness!!!🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/31 "2003-04-08T16:47:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Fretful Porpentine \* > \*\*Yeah, what he said. Believe me, I am _not_ a prude when it comes to alcohol, but trying to get completely hammered, alone in the dark, when you can’t stand the taste sets off all sorts of warning bells. \*\* Geez, lighten up y’all! So the guy wants to get lit up one time alone in his house. You make it seem like he’s a raging alkie in training. Isn’t it better that he run this experiment at home rather than, say, at a bar from which he may wind up driving home? I have found that vodka and cranberry does the trick for me. Just be sure, before you go to sleep/pass out, that you down a couple big glasses of water and a multi-vitamin. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/32 "2003-04-08T17:05:34Z")
Assuming one bottle of hard liquor will do the trick, you can go with a cheap to mid priced fruit flavored vodka, mix it with 7-up and add a slice of orange. That’s a totally yummy drink, fruity, not too sweet, and won’t be excessively hard on the stomach. I find cranberry can be a bit too tart, same with sour mix type of drinks, after 3-4, my stomach hurts from the mixer alone. ---
**Author:** ![Fretful\_Porpentine](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fretful_porpentine/32/2873_2.png) [@Fretful\_Porpentine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fretful_Porpentine)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/33 "2003-04-08T17:18:13Z")
> [@](#): > > Geez, lighten up y’all! So the guy wants to get lit up one time alone in his house. You make it seem like he’s a raging alkie in training. Isn’t it better that he run this experiment at home rather than, say, at a bar from which he may wind up driving home? Well, if he had in fact described this as an experiment, I’d have no problem with it. As I said, I’m _not_ a prude – hell, I’ve done my share of drinking alone at home, sometimes even in the dark – but something about the way the OP is phrased really rubs me the wrong way. That said, you’re quite right that he was looking for drink suggestions and not other commentary, so I apologize. ---
**Author:** ![Belrix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ed655f/32.png) [@Belrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Belrix)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/34 "2003-04-08T18:36:28Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by aeropl \* > \*\*There’s always that antifreeze stuff. If animals can get drunk off it so can you, right? For twenty bucks you could get a couple of gallons and I’ve even heard that it’s sweet. \*\* Umm - at the risk of being whooshed but moving ahead becuase there’s a health issue… Antifreeze is poisoness. ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/35 "2003-04-08T18:48:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Muad’Dib \* > \*\*Any suggestions? I am looking for deepness and sustainability. The problem is that I _hate_ alcohol. The stuff makes me want to wretch. I can barely choke it down, and not without holding my nose, wincing, and feeling a little nausea. I can sorta handle mixed drinks. I find that sweet and sour mix is the greatest cover ever made, so Long Island Iced Teas are drinkable. SO what do you guys think. Also, this will not be at a bar, but at my house, alone, in the dark. \*\* **Muad’Dib** , I’ll second (third?) **ShibbOleth** and **Fretful Porpentine** on general principles. Now, on to the OP. It sounds like you’re not a real “big drinker”, and judging by your comments, it also sounds like you need some time to brood while you drown your sorrows. First, this Important Disclaimer! Before you take your first SIP, bury your car keys and throw away your shovel. Also very important: Avoid “Hard” Liquor. If you’re not familiar with heavy drinking, the hard stuff can kill you. Really. Nobody wants that. Go out and buy yourself a 12-pack of Zima. It’s about as strong as beer, and tastes like Sprite. If I am correct, and your are an occassional drinker only, 4 or 5 of these should get you pretty sloppy, and 6 or 7 should get you calling your friends to tell them you love (or hate) them. The advantages to this approach are 1) You’ll have enough to maintain the desired level of stupor/torpor, and 2) You will be unlikely to poison yourself - you’ll probably pass out before you drink enough to really damage your body. Good luck, and let us know how it goes. ---
**Author:** ![Max\_Carnage](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/max_carnage/32/12775_2.png) [@Max\_Carnage](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Max_Carnage)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/36 "2003-04-08T19:17:08Z")
2 bottles of **Brass Monkey** The first drink is the one that’ll hit ya the hardest. After that, the rest tastes like a nummy orange drink. I only suggested 2 bottles because you can get 2 for under $20. One bottle alone will be sufficient to get you 'faced. ---
**Author:** ![Munch](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/munch/32/5281_2.png) [@Munch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Munch)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/37 "2003-04-08T19:23:14Z")
If you really like the sweet and sour mix, I’d recommend Amarillo Sours. Amarillo doesn’t have a lot of alcohol content, so about a 3:2 ratio might be better than the 1:1 (remembering, of course, that sour mix usually comes concetrated, so you’ll need to dilute 1:1 with water before mixing). ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/38 "2003-04-08T19:41:31Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Belrix \* > \*\*poisoness. \*\* Like Lucretia Borgia. ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/39 "2003-04-08T19:52:30Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Belrix \* > \*\*poisoness. \*\* Like Lucretia Borgia. ---
**Author:** ![Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/9de053/32.png) [@Jackknifed\_Juggernaut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackknifed_Juggernaut)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2003, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259/40 "2003-04-08T20:00:53Z")
In a local liquor store, they sell this new drink called 99 Bananas. They have these little shot bottles for $1. It’s 99 proof and the taste of banana drowns out the taste of the alcohol. Make sure it’s very cold. Drink 5 of these over the course of an hour, with a 1/2 cup of water after each one. You’ll have $15 left over to sepnd on other entertainment. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-best-way-to-go-from-zero-to-drunk-in-twenty-dollars/167259.md?page=3)