# What is the dumbest wedding music you've ever heard? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [February 5, 2015, 4:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898 "2015-02-05T16:03:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nametag](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/nametag/32/406_2.png) [@Nametag](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nametag)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/41 "2015-02-06T05:47:06Z")
Yeah, but it’s better than the Nazi Recessional (aka “Bridal Chorus” from Wagner’s _Lohengrin_). My candidate: my former boss’s sister walked down the aisle to “Bad to the Bone.” ETA: Well, that got superseded in a hurry… ---
**Author:** ![Hermione](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/cdc98d/32.png) [@Hermione](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hermione)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/42 "2015-02-06T05:47:59Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > Of course, even Mendelssohn’s Wedding March is slightly dubious. It was composed as part of his incidental music for Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, specifically, for the wedding of Titania and Bottom. Bottom, a human, has had his head magically transformed into that of a jackass; and Titania, a fairy, has been enchanted to fall in love with him. Doesn’t say much for either one of them. 🙂 Heck, what about the march from Lohengrin (the one we know as “here comes the bride”)? In the opera, it’s sung after the wedding as the couple are led to their bridal chamber, but the marriage is never consummated…the bride, Elsa, does what her husband has said she must never do and asks the forbidden questions: her husband’s name and origin. This curses the marriage, he ends up having to leave (he is a Grail knight, who must depart forever if his identity is known) and she drops dead of grief. Is that the kind of wedding you’d like to have yours identified with?! ETA: Ninja’d. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![K364](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/k364/32/5_2.png) [@K364](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/K364)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/43 "2015-02-06T05:50:46Z")
Father of the Bride grabs microphone before the first dance and sings: “Please Release Me, let me go. For I don’t love you any more…” Wow. ---
**Author:** ![trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/6f9a4e/32.png) [@trapezoidal\_jellyfish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/trapezoidal_jellyfish)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 6:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/44 "2015-02-06T06:40:54Z")
> [@DigitalC](#): > > “Every breath you take” is the creepiest song to ever be played at **almost every single** wedding. Bolding mine. I can’t imagine ANY wedding where that song would be appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![Isamu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/7c8e57/32.png) [@Isamu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Isamu)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 7:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/45 "2015-02-06T07:20:12Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > That’s not true. “More than Words” is about a guy telling his girlfriend she’s history if she doesn’t have ANAL sex with him. Close, but its about a guy telling his girlfriend she’s history if she doesn’t have anal sex with HIS CREW. ---
**Author:** ![Scumpup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ce73a5/32.png) [@Scumpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scumpup)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 8:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/46 "2015-02-06T08:28:27Z")
> [@Isamu](#): > > Close, but its about a guy telling his girlfriend she’s history if she doesn’t have anal sex with HIS CREW. I’ve read the lyrics and they can just barely be interpreted as a sexual ultimatum. Anal sex, regardless of the number of participants, is not supported by the text. ---
**Author:** ![Fossil](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/47e85d/32.png) [@Fossil](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fossil)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 9:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/47 "2015-02-06T09:04:38Z")
Thanks Hermoine, ignorance fought. I thought it was strange due to the english words and also because I have heard it at 90% of the funerals I have been to. ---
**Author:** ![usedtobe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/u/ec9cab/32.png) [@usedtobe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/usedtobe)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 9:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/48 "2015-02-06T09:12:43Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > “I Don’t Know How To Love Him” from _Jesus Christ Superstar_. Why would a bride want the lyrics “and I’ve had so many men before” sung at her wedding? Sounds like “reflecting on good times past”. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/49 "2015-02-06T10:28:13Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > “I Don’t Know How To Love Him” from _Jesus Christ Superstar_. Why would a bride want the lyrics “and I’ve had so many men before” sung at her wedding? I think it’s good to go into marriage being 100% honest 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Novelty\_Bobble](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/a3d4f5/32.png) [@Novelty\_Bobble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Novelty_Bobble)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 12:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/50 "2015-02-06T12:12:07Z")
My wife and I had our wedding day first dance to Prince’s “Diamonds and Pearls”. “Nothing wrong with that” you may say. “Good choice” you may also say. “The sentiment and the music match the mood of a wedding day” would also be a reasonable response. That is all true but by choosing that song and handing the relevant cd to the DJ I also gave him the equivalent of a sweary time-bomb as he popped it on as background music when all the guests started filing in. As one song started fading out my wife turned to me with arched eyebrows and asked pointedly if I could remember what the next song was. I mentally fast-forwarded and then made my way rapidly to the booth to hit “pause” before the dulcet tones of “Sexy Mother-Fucker” came wafting to the dainty ears of relatives young and old. I confess, half of me wanted to just let it play. That sense of humour is one of the reasons my wife married me. The other half of me thought better of it in that situation and that’s probably the reason why I am _still_ married to her. (21 years and counting) ---
**Author:** ![Loch\_Raven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/779978/32.png) [@Loch\_Raven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loch_Raven)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 1:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/51 "2015-02-06T13:12:05Z")
> [@Crotalus](#): > > The money helped. 😃 > > Are you from the Baltimore area? Yes. Randallstown to be specific, but I haven’t lived there in 30 years. Still have family in the area, though. ---
**Author:** ![Musicat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/musicat/32/20189_2.png) [@Musicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Musicat)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 1:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/52 "2015-02-06T13:15:17Z")
How about “The Party’s Over”? ---
**Author:** ![eclectic\_wench](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/ac91a4/32.png) [@eclectic\_wench](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eclectic_wench)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 1:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/53 "2015-02-06T13:44:02Z")
> [@rowrrbazzle](#): > > Of course, even Mendelssohn’s Wedding March is slightly dubious. It was composed as part of his incidental music for Shakespeare’s “A Midsummer Night’s Dream”, specifically, for the wedding of Titania and Bottom. Bottom, a human, has had his head magically transformed into that of a jackass; and Titania, a fairy, has been enchanted to fall in love with him. Doesn’t say much for either one of them. 🙂 Are you positive about that? Because there isn’t any wedding of Titania and Bottom in the play, nor any implication that they get married (in fact, she’s already married, whatever that means to Shakespearean fairies). In Act 5 there’s a triple wedding (Theseus and Hippolyta, Hermia and Lysander, Helena and Demetrius) - it actually happens offstage, between two scenes, but the piece of music could easily be used during the scene break and the opening of the second scene. There’s still a slight element of dubiousness - one of the couples is only getting married because Demetrius is still under the influence of love juice - but I don’t think it has anything to do with Titania and Bottom. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 2:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/54 "2015-02-06T14:43:58Z")
> [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](#): > > At my daughter’s wedding she and her groom had them play “White and Nerdy”… You interest me strangely. My daughter is making threatening gestures towards a wedding. My contribution to the OP is the couple I read about who chose _Onward Christian Soldiers_ as their processional. _Onward Christian soldiers, Marching as to war…_ Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![August\_West](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/august_west/32/18069_2.png) [@August\_West](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/August_West)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/55 "2015-02-06T15:22:50Z")
“One” by U2. Yes, it was played during the ceremony. The title calls to mind the image of two people becoming one, therefore possibly appropriate music. The lyrics, not so much. \*Did I ask too much, more than a lot? You gave me nothing, now it’s all I got, We’re one, but we’re not the same. Well, we hurt each other, And we do it again. You say “Love is a temple, love a higher law, Love is a temple, love the higher law.” You asked me to enter, and then you made me crawl, But I can’t keep holding on, to what you got, When all you got is hurt.\* And so on. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/56 "2015-02-06T17:31:41Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I’ve read the lyrics and they can just barely be interpreted as a sexual ultimatum. Anal sex, regardless of the number of participants, is not supported by the text. Yeah, I cant see it either. ---
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 5:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/57 "2015-02-06T17:53:22Z")
> [@Loch\_Raven](#): > > Yeah, not to hijack the thread, but why do all DJ’s seem to think everyone wants the Chicken Dance, followed by the Macarena, followed by the Electric Slide, followed by the Hokey Pokey and then “Free Bird”? For the love of all that is sacred, please, please, STOP!!! Because you invited all of your hillbilly, redneck relatives to the reception and they won’t stop pestering me until I play that crap (minus Freebird - Never had that request since it’s not a dance tune) …and you forgot to include “What I Like About You”, “Shout”, and “You Never Even Called Me by My Name (You don’t have to call me darlin, darlin)” ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 6:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/58 "2015-02-06T18:33:55Z")
Our wedding, should it ever happen, should be a fun affair. My gf and I each get to pick one song. She frequently changes her mind, but I’ve stuck with my choice. Tom Waits _Better Off Without a Wife_. > [@](#): > > All my friends are married > Every Tom and Dick and Harry > You must be strong to go it alone > Here’s to the bachelors and the Bowery bums > And those who feel that they’re the ones > Who are better off without a wife 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Reeses\_Monkey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/reeses_monkey/32/2885_2.png) [@Reeses\_Monkey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Reeses_Monkey)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 9:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/59 "2015-02-06T21:57:08Z")
I went up the aisle to “Ride of the Valkyries” and we came back down to “Liberty Bell March”, aka the Monty Python theme. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [February 6, 2015, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898/60 "2015-02-06T22:00:42Z")
> [@Scumpup](#): > > I’ve read the lyrics and they can just barely be interpreted as a sexual ultimatum. Anal sex, regardless of the number of participants, is not supported by the text. You’re not accounting for the possibility that some random asshole would make an off-color joke about the song, though. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-dumbest-wedding-music-youve-ever-heard/711898.md?page=4)