# What is the "friend" function on this message board? **URL:** \ **Category:** About This Message Board\ **Created:** [September 1, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538 "2009-09-01T21:03:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 16\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/1 "2009-09-01T21:03:49Z")
Stupid question - what is the “friend” function on this board? I’ve recently noticed I have an “Incoming Friend Request”, which I may confirm or deny. So, what is this thing? I honestly have no idea. The FAQ says “A friendship is a mutual, two-way relationship between two users. It is initiated by one user and accepted by the other,” but doesn’t say what this actually _means_. Not that I have a problem with the poster who is requesting my friendship, but I like knowing what I’m signing up for before I dive in. Does selecting “accept” mean that I have to buy him beers and lend him DVDs, or what? ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 9:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/2 "2009-09-01T21:39:57Z")
I don’t believe it means anything. I mean that literally - nothing about the boards changes. If you are buying the beer, then I want to be your friend. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/3 "2009-09-01T21:42:09Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > I don’t believe it means anything. I mean that literally - nothing about the boards changes. > > If you are buying the beer, then I want to be your friend. > > Regards, > Shodan Huh. Presuming that you are correct, then what’s the point of it? ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/4 "2009-09-01T22:43:38Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Huh. Presuming that you are correct, then what’s the point of it? Other features of vBulletin, which aren’t turned on for SDMB, use that relationship. ---
**Author:** ![Giraffe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giraffe/32/129_2.png) [@Giraffe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giraffe)\ **Post date:** [September 1, 2009, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/5 "2009-09-01T23:52:39Z")
> [@begbert2](#): > > Huh. Presuming that you are correct, then what’s the point of it? It’s to make you feel like a big loser when you realize you don’t have any friends. ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2009, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/6 "2009-09-02T08:51:38Z")
The problem with friend requests is that by turning one down you may have created an enemy. (“Bastard! Not good enough for him, am I?”) 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2009, 9:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/7 "2009-09-02T09:51:31Z")
It lists them on your profile. It’s really useful in the Pit, as it tells you who is likely to come to the defense of whom. It’s probably useful in GD for the same reason, as a lot of the arguments consist of barely concealed hostilities. But, mostly, it’s just a nice gesture. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [September 2, 2009, 11:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/8 "2009-09-02T11:39:40Z")
It’s easier to get to their profiles and PM them. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [September 3, 2009, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/9 "2009-09-03T04:30:35Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > It’s easier to get to their profiles and PM them. Yes, you can PM all your “friends” at once. Not that I have ever needed to here. When playing a MB game on another MB, I made all my team my “friends” and that was useful. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2009, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/10 "2009-09-04T04:42:17Z")
Was **Giraffe** the only Mod who knew the answer? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2009, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/11 "2009-09-04T11:19:54Z")
Giraffe is not a mod. At least, not here. ---
**Author:** ![Giles](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/giles/32/60_2.png) [@Giles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Giles)\ **Post date:** [September 4, 2009, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/12 "2009-09-04T21:19:08Z")
> [@Giraffe](#): > > It’s to make you feel like a big loser when you realize you don’t have any friends. Thanks, Giraffe, for making my day. I already suspected that I was a loser, but now you’ve confirmed it, since I have no friends. ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2009, 1:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/13 "2009-09-05T13:40:48Z")
I have a friend now ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2009, 1:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/14 "2009-09-05T13:48:10Z")
> [@Angry Lurker](#): > > I have a friend now Our mutual friend, a very amicable chap of late who appears to want to be friends with everybody. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Happy\_Poster](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Happy\_Poster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Happy_Poster)\ **Post date:** [September 5, 2009, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/15 "2009-09-05T20:14:26Z")
> [@aldiboronti](#): > > Our mutual friend, a very amicable chap of late who appears to want to be friends with everybody. 🙂 Do not worry, I’m no longer infectious ---
**Author:** ![aldiboronti](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/9fc348/32.png) [@aldiboronti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/aldiboronti)\ **Post date:** [September 7, 2009, 8:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-friend-function-on-this-message-board/508538/16 "2009-09-07T08:37:44Z")
Having accepted the first Friend request I’ve ever had on the board (oddly from a poster I’ve had very little interation with) I’ve now had second thoughts, which, all round philanthropist and good egg that I am, I’ll share with the world. I found the knowledge that a poster was a ‘friend’ a little hampering. Say, for instance, I though him richly deserving of a verbal kicking that he was getting and decided to lend my boot to the fray, would I be a cad for treating a friend so? Would I not be expected, in the name of friendship, to come to his aid rather than add to his woes? Purely hypothetical, of course, as no such situation arose and I’m probably overthinking the whole thing anyway, but there it is. The slight damper it put on my posting was sufficient to make me remove the said ‘friend’. I can assure him there was nothing personal here and I’ll be refusing all Friend requests in future. (Not that I was expecting any!)