# What is the funniest lyric in a non-comical song? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 7, 2019, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452 "2019-10-07T20:42:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![zamboniracer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/e9a140/32.png) [@zamboniracer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zamboniracer)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/1 "2019-10-07T20:42:17Z")
Recently I listened to Meat Loaf’s “Bat Out of Hell” for the first time in a long time. Out of all of the great tunes on that record (that’s how old I am, when it came out it was on a LP Record), I like “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” the best, because it has what for my money is the funniest one-liner in all of music, namely, “Now, I’m praying for the end of time to hurry up and arrive.” After the huge build-up to that moment, that line just kills me every time. So what do you Dopers think is the funniest song line? Let’s have at it.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/2 "2019-10-07T21:06:34Z")
Foreigner put out a greatest hits album that had a live version of “Hot Blooded” on it. During the song’s fade out, the lead singer sings “I’ll make you famous start on your anus” The first time I heard that I did the classic ‘did I just hear what I thought I heard?’ ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/3 "2019-10-07T21:12:48Z")
I’ve always liked the macabre punch line at the end of the Grateful Dead’s _Me and My Uncle_. After a story about how the amoral narrator and his uncle cheated a group of cowboys out of a bunch of gold at a poker game, he concludes I love those cowboys, I love their gold I love my uncle, God rest his soul. He taught me good, lord, taught me all I know. He taught me so well that I grabbed that gold And I left his dead ass there by the side of the road. ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/4 "2019-10-07T21:14:52Z")
> [@xizor](#): > > Foreigner put out a greatest hits album that had a live version of “Hot Blooded” on it. > During the song’s fade out, the lead singer sings > > “I’ll make you famous > start on your anus” > > The first time I heard that I did the classic ‘did I just hear what I thought I heard?’ You’ve reminded me of Deep Purple’s song “Knocking At Your Back Door” – I’m not sure if that song really counts as “non-comical,” since it is full of sexual innuendo (particularly about anal sex), but there’s one line, in particular, that I love for its wordplay: So we put her on the hit list Of a common cunning linguist A master of many tongues 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Stephe96](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Stephe96](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Stephe96)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 9:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/5 "2019-10-07T21:41:16Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > Recently I listened to Meat Loaf’s “Bat Out of Hell” for the first time in a long time. Out of all of the great tunes on that record (that’s how old I am, when it came out it was on a LP Record), I like “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” the best, because it has what for my money is the funniest one-liner in all of music, namely, “Now, I’m praying for the end of time to hurry up and arrive.” After the huge build-up to that moment, that line just kills me every time. > > So what do you Dopers think is the funniest song line? Let’s have at it.🙂 Same album, funnier line: “‘Cause two out of three ain’t bad.” (Sure, I want you and need you, but no way will I love you…but, hey…cheer up!) ---
**Author:** ![It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/it_s_not_rocket_surgery/32/312_2.png) [@It\_s\_Not\_Rocket\_Surgery](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/It_s_Not_Rocket_Surgery)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/6 "2019-10-07T21:47:20Z")
Elvis Costello in Red Shoes: “I said “I’m so happy I could die”, She said “Drop dead” then left with another guy” ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 9:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/7 "2019-10-07T21:51:26Z")
Elvis Costello has lots of lyrics that are so clever they can count as funny. from _Angels Wanna Wear My Red Shoes_: “I said I’m so happy I could die she said Drop Dead and left with another guy.” from _New Amsterdam_: “I step on the brake to get out of her clutches.” from _Senior Service_: “They took me in the office and they told me very carefully the ways that I could benefit from death and disability.” ETA: argghhgh!!! ---
**Author:** ![mbh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/a6a055/32.png) [@mbh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mbh)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/8 "2019-10-07T21:59:46Z")
Tom Petty, "Free Fallin’ " > [@](#): > > She’s a good girl, Loves her mama > Loves Jesus, and America, too > She’s a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis > Loves horses, and her boyfriend, too It amused me that horses were a higher priority than the boyfriend. Alanis Morissette, “You Oughta Know” > [@](#): > > You told me you’d love me until you died, > But you’re still alive! ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 10:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/9 "2019-10-07T22:07:27Z")
“Here’s to the Halcyon” by **Old 97s** is a song about a man who’s boat has sunk and he’s bargaining with God to save his life, including giving up booze if he survives. _I’ll prove to you a sinning man can turn his back on sin Give me some fresh water, Lord, I’ll never drink again_ ---
**Author:** ![Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/prof.pepperwinkle/32/13627_2.png) [@Prof.Pepperwinkle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Prof.Pepperwinkle)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/10 "2019-10-07T22:35:35Z")
Roy Clark: I’ve made a small fortune and you squandered it all You shamed me till I feel about one inch tall But I thought I loved you and I hoped you would change So I gritted my teeth and didn’t complain Now you come to me with a simple goodbye You tell me you’re leaving but you won’t tell me why Now we’re here at the station and you’re getting on And all I can think of is Thank God and Greyhound you’re gone ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/11 "2019-10-07T22:46:12Z")
“Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall.” ---
**Author:** ![DigitalC](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ebca7d/32.png) [@DigitalC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DigitalC)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2019, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/12 "2019-10-07T22:47:03Z")
Lil Wayne “Real G’s move in silence like lasagna” ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 12:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/13 "2019-10-08T00:59:23Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > Tom Petty, "Free Fallin’ " > > It amused me that horses were a higher priority than the boyfriend. > > \ You should hear the [first draft](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M5RjHELoev0). In concert, Billy Joel has been known to occasionally change “I don’t know why I go to extremes” to “I don’t know why I go for ice cream.” ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 1:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/14 "2019-10-08T01:18:27Z")
**Bob Dylan:** Poor boy, in the hotel called the Palace of Gloom Calls down to room service, says, “Send up a room” **John Prine:** Please don’t bury me Down in that cold cold ground No, I’d druther have 'em cut me up And pass me all around Throw my brain in a hurricane And the blind can have my eyes And the deaf can take both of my ears If they don’t mind the size **Lyle Lovett:** The preacher asked her And she said I do The preacher asked me And she said yes he does too ---
**Author:** ![kenobi\_65](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kenobi_65/32/13178_2.png) [@kenobi\_65](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kenobi_65)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/15 "2019-10-08T01:45:53Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > **John Prine:** > Please don’t bury me > Down in that cold cold ground > No, I’d druther have 'em cut me up > And pass me all around > Throw my brain in a hurricane > And the blind can have my eyes > And the deaf can take both of my ears > If they don’t mind the size My uncle passed away last year; he donated his body to science. His children had a memorial gathering a few months later. One of his sons (my cousin) is a bluegrass singer and guitarist, and has been in a band for many years. During the gathering, he and his band played that song, in honor of his father’s bequest of his body. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 2:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/16 "2019-10-08T02:10:47Z")
> [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](#): > > **Lyle Lovett:** > The preacher asked her > And she said I do > The preacher asked me > And she said yes he does too I don’t think that song can really be described as non-comical; it’s subtly funny from start to finish. I’d put forth Barry Manilow’s version of _Copacabana_, especially with the cheery, uplifting way he sings, “And then she lost her mind.” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 2:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/17 "2019-10-08T02:18:48Z")
Country music is full of irony, if not laugh out loud funny. > [@Tom T. Hall](#): > > God came through Belleville, Georgia > He was ridin’ on the noonday train > All power to him and praise his holy name > He never got off of the train > [@Loretta Lynn](#): > > You wined me and dined me > When I was your girl > Promised if I’d be your wife > You’d show me the world > But all I’ve seen of this old world > Is a bed and a doctor bill > I’m tearin’ down your brooder house > 'Cause now I’ve got the pill > [@Lefty Frizzell](#): > > Her dad met me in Saginaw, Michigan > He gave me a great big party with champagne > Then he said, son, you wise young ambitious man > Will you sell your father-in-law your Klondike claim > Now he’s up there in Alaska digging in the cold, cold ground > The greedy fool is looking for the gold I never found > It serves him right and no one here is missing him > Least of all the newlyweds of Saginaw, Michigan ---
**Author:** ![BobLibDem](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/boblibdem/32/3149_2.png) [@BobLibDem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BobLibDem)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 2:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/18 "2019-10-08T02:27:55Z")
A few of Dylan’s always cracked me up Brownsville Girl “Way down in Mexico you went out to find a doctor and you never came back I would have gone on after you but I didn’t feel like letting my head get blown off” Idiot Wind “She inherited a million bucks and when she died, it came to me. I can’t help it if I’m lucky” Desolation Row “Cinderella she seems so easy…” ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/19 "2019-10-08T02:46:05Z")
_Maybe a lover comes along, maybe in story or in song, maybe the heart is really strong, a million lemmings can’t be wrong._ ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2019, 3:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/20 "2019-10-08T03:43:24Z")
> [@BobLibDem](#): > > A few of Dylan’s always cracked me up… I was doing homework while the title cut of my new Dylan album played, when I heard my dad chuckle from across the room. I realized he’d been listening to the lyrics: It was down in Chaynee County A time they talk about With his lady by his side He took a stand And soon the situation there Was all but straightened out **For he was always known To lend a helping hand** [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452.md?page=2)