# What is the funniest lyric in a non-comical song? **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Created:** [October 7, 2019, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452 "2019-10-07T20:42:17Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2019, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/61 "2019-10-09T17:55:46Z")
More Zevon: _I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar_ _She asked me if I’d beat her_ _She took me back to the Hyatt House_ _I don’t want to talk about it_ It’s the delivery on that last line that slays me. Or Alice Cooper: _I love the dead before they’re cold_ _Their bluing flesh for me to hold_ _Cadaver eyes upon me see_ _NOTHING!_ ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [October 9, 2019, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/62 "2019-10-09T17:59:56Z")
A couple I’m not sure were on purpose: Scandal, The Warrior _You talk, talk, talk to me Your eyes touch me physically_ \* \* Sounds slimy 😛 Elton John, Philadelphia Freedom _I like living easy without family ties (living easy) Till the whippoorwill of freedom zapped me Right between the eyes_ \*\* I hear that’s good luck! 😃 * * * ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/63 "2019-10-10T13:37:29Z")
Rod Stewart’s You’re in My Heart has two zingers: You’re Essence and Glamour (Please pardon the grammar) & You’re every love song ever written But honey, what do you see in me? ---
**Author:** ![Snake\_Plissken\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Snake\_Plissken\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snake_Plissken_1)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/64 "2019-10-10T17:04:35Z")
“…she told me to come but I was already there.” ‘You Shook Me All Night Long’ ---
**Author:** ![Ponch8](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ponch8/32/9883_2.png) [@Ponch8](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ponch8)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/65 "2019-10-10T17:36:48Z")
The Police’s “Synchronicity II” has a couple funny lines. Another suburban family morning Grandmother screaming at the wall We have to shout above the din of our rice crispies and Every single meeting with his so-called superior Is a humiliating kick in the crotch ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/66 "2019-10-10T19:29:04Z")
> [@Sparky812](#): > > That’s because it’s a one of those common misheard lyrics, although \*\*xizor \*\*has the details a little wrong. > > The album is actually [_Records_(1982)](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Records_(album)) which was a compilation of hits from their first four albums which included a live cut of “Hot-Blooded” from a 1978 performance at the Rainbow. > > Amazingly, this live concert was just released on DVD in 2019 and the version cited is posted [here](https://www.youtube.com/watch?reload=9&v=34bcKbcHSoo) The lyric in question does not occur during the song’s fade out (in fact, there is no fade-out) but at 4:25 you can hear Lou Gramm sing “I’ll make you famous…” and pause until he sings the next line… “I’m far underrated” It’s a little hard to hear, but if you turn the volume up it’s clear he’s not saying “I’ll start with your anus” or " a star on Uranus" I stand corrected. I first heard it back in the 80s and never bothered to research it. But now it is no longer funny and is removed for consideration from this thread. ---
**Author:** ![Pardel-Lux](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pardel-lux/32/20182_2.png) [@Pardel-Lux](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Pardel-Lux)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/67 "2019-10-10T20:23:10Z")
> [@mbh](#): > > Tom Petty, "Free Fallin’ " > > She’s a good girl, Loves her mama > Loves Jesus, and America, too > She’s a good girl, crazy 'bout Elvis > Loves horses, and her boyfriend, too > > It amused me that horses were a higher priority than the boyfriend. Yeah, I never dug the gal’s inorderly fondness for horses either. Weird, they are. Both horses and gals. ---
**Author:** ![Inigo\_Montoya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inigo_montoya/32/124_2.png) [@Inigo\_Montoya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inigo_Montoya)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2019, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/68 "2019-10-10T21:58:19Z")
Roland aimed his Thompson gun He didn’t say a word ---
**Author:** ![Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mean_mr.mustard/32/3865_2.png) [@Mean\_Mr.Mustard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mean_Mr.Mustard)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2019, 1:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/69 "2019-10-11T01:04:07Z")
More Elvis: So there He was on a water-bed, Drinking a cola of a mystery brand, Reading an airport novelette, Listening to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Requiem.” He said, before it had really begun, “I prefer the one about My son.” —God’s Comic Dial me a valentine, she’s a smooth operator It’s all so calculated, she’s got a calculator She’s my soft touch typewriter and I’m her great dictator —Two Little Hitlers This is hell, this is hell, this is hell. “My Favorite Things” are playing Again and again But it`s by Julie Andrews And not by John Coltrane —This is Hell Was it a millionaire who said, “Imagine no possessions?” —The Other Side of Summer ---
**Author:** ![digs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/digs/32/14889_2.png) [@digs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/digs)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2019, 4:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/70 "2019-10-11T04:02:13Z")
Just this afternoon, I downloaded some Dave Clark Five (which I’d recommend to any fans of the Beatles and other Brit Bands of the 60s). When the first verse of the first song, _Over and Over,_ hit me, I thought “I have got to post this to the lyric thread!” > [@](#): > > Well, I went to a dance just the other night > Everybody there was there. > I said over and over and over again > This dance is gonna be a drag… _Everybody there was there?_ I asked an English friend if “there” was old slang for cool or something, and he looked at me like I wasn’t all “there”… ---
**Author:** ![fjs1fs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9e8a1a/32.png) [@fjs1fs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fjs1fs)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2019, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/71 "2019-10-11T15:01:37Z")
> [@FastDan1](#): > > One could debate as to whether “If I Had A Million Dollars” by Barenaked Ladies is non-comical, but… > > If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) > I’d buy you a fur coat (but not a real fur coat that’s cruel) > > Followed later in the song by… > > If I had a million dollars (if I had a million dollars) > Well I’d buy you a green dress (but not a real green dress, that’s cruel) I agree, the whole song is funny. I like the line (paraphrased): We wouldn’t walk to the store We’d take a limousine because it costs More! ---
**Author:** ![TimfromNapa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/d26b3c/32.png) [@TimfromNapa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimfromNapa)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2019, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/72 "2019-10-11T19:44:50Z")
> [@zamboniracer](#): > > Recently I listened to Meat Loaf’s “Bat Out of Hell” for the first time in a long time. Out of all of the great tunes on that record (that’s how old I am, when it came out it was on a LP Record), I like “Paradise by the Dashboard Light” the best, because it has what for my money is the funniest one-liner in all of music, namely, “Now, I’m praying for the end of time to hurry up and arrive.” After the huge build-up to that moment, that line just kills me every time. > > So what do you Dopers think is the funniest song line? Let’s have at it.🙂 On the album version of Jefferson Starship’s “Miracales”, Marty Balan croons, “I got a taste of the real world when I went down on you girl”. On the B52s first album, the song Hot Lava includes the lyric: “Fire, fire burning bright. Turn on your love lava. Turn on your lava light.” ---
**Author:** ![Bill0341](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/8e8cbc/32.png) [@Bill0341](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bill0341)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2019, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/73 "2019-10-11T23:40:32Z")
Black Flag “Six Pack” my girlfriend asked me which one i liked better SIX PACK i hope the answer won’t upset her SIX PACK Motorhead “Eat the Rich” (lots of bad food metaphors here but the best was…) shetland pony, extra pepperoni ---
**Author:** ![Dickerman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/8baadc/32.png) [@Dickerman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dickerman)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2019, 2:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/74 "2019-10-12T02:22:14Z")
From Buffett’s _Margaritaville_, referring to his tattoo of a Mexican cutie: “How it got here I haven’t a clue” Cracks me up every time. ---
**Author:** ![Haunted\_Pasta](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/94ad74/32.png) [@Haunted\_Pasta](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Haunted_Pasta)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2019, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/75 "2019-10-12T04:01:37Z")
The (too-) briefly successful '90’s band Toy Matinee, in the song of the same name from the album of the same name, offers up two lines of great wordplay. In one, they contemplate “a fish or a mountain to scale.” In the second, they evoke the image of a crowd watching a circus: “We’re so easy to please…please…please, Pleas from the crowd to go on…” Another song, “The Ballad of Jenny Ledge,” is a lamentation for a beautiful girl the narrator loved, but who left him for “a Vegas king.” He knows she ended up regretting going for the rich flashy guy instead of him. “Now all she has is a king and a pair And a tear for what might have been.” A king and… a pair. Snicker. ---
**Author:** ![MulderMuffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muldermuffin/32/2862_2.png) [@MulderMuffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MulderMuffin)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2019, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/76 "2019-10-12T14:51:22Z")
The song “Human” by Human League always made me chuckle at the end. Almost the whole song is the male lead singer apologizing for cheating on her while they were away from each other, insisting he’s only human, and begging for forgiveness. The last verse is the female singer answering" I forgive you, now I ask the same of you While we were apart, I was human too. I always crack up at that. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2019, 4:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/77 "2019-10-12T16:25:40Z")
Tom Paxton’s Saturday Night is not considered a serious song. However, the first two choruses start: Mary & Eddie are busy indeed Making up for lost time in the rear. The third chorus goes: Mary & Eddie are being arrested For making up time in the rear. Trying not laughing at that. And Paxton’s Jesus Christ SRO, after singing the praises of Jesus starring in a Broadway show very tongue in check, ends: Jesus, you’re really the toast of Broadway And what a proper superstar you look. A golden oldie, a blast from the past. It’s great to see you’ve come back at last. And some day I just have to read the book. ---
**Author:** ![lissener](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lissener/32/6139_2.png) [@lissener](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lissener)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2019, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/78 "2019-10-12T17:03:12Z")
“Now I have to get up off my knees because I have some shopping to do.” Diamanda Galás “Do You Take This Man?” “Men are animals. But you have to capture one to protect you from all the rest.” Jo Carol Pierce > **[Bad Girls Get Old](https://features.texasmonthly.com/editorial/bad-girls-get-old/)** > > Thirty years ago, Jo Carol Pierce turned her Lubbock upbringing into a sublime musical about sex, suicide, and Jesus. Now 72, she's ready for her third act. Sent from my LG-M150 using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Sir\_Prize](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d2c977/32.png) [@Sir\_Prize](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sir_Prize)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2019, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/79 "2019-10-13T16:13:02Z")
**Simon & Garfunkel** Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia Up in my bedroom (making love) I got up to wash my face When I come back to bed someone’s taken my place Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2019, 5:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452/80 "2019-10-13T17:15:53Z")
> [@Bill0341](#): > > Black Flag “Six Pack” > > my girlfriend asked me which one i liked better > SIX PACK > i hope the answer won’t upset her > SIX PACK > > Motorhead “Eat the Rich” (lots of bad food metaphors here but the best was…) > shetland pony, extra pepperoni For Black Flag, I’ll go with: _See if you can find the key to your mother’s liquor cabinet_ (“Thirsty and Miserable”) The “Eat the Rich” bad food metaphor I preferred: **Sittin’ here in a hired tuxedo, You wanna see my bacon torpedo!..** (not sure how much of a non-comical song ETR is, though. The title and its sentiments may have noble intentions, but the lyrics…) In Van Halen’s “Why Can’t This Be Love?”, they cop some beer ad copy with “It’s got what it takes”. For unintentionally funny song titles, there’s John Mayer’s “Your Body is a Wonderland”. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-lyric-in-a-non-comical-song/841452.md?page=5)