# What is the funniest post you've ever seen on SDMB? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [April 13, 2003, 7:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410 "2003-04-13T07:44:00Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/21 "2003-04-14T22:09:10Z")
Actually, it was **Wildest Bill** who first said “Gotcha ya!” **Eve** just made it famous. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2003, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/22 "2003-04-14T22:26:17Z")
The one post that sticks in my memory most was a sequential title post. I don’t wanna slow the board with a search, but the gist was. What is the largest thing you have ever stuck in your Anus? Ohhh god!! Please not my cat! ---
**Author:** ![kabbes](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/e99b99/32.png) [@kabbes](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kabbes)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 8:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/23 "2003-04-15T08:26:05Z")
Yes **Guin** , but it was **Eve** that actually made the funny post, which is why I nominated it for the “What is the funniest post” award. See how that works? 😉 pan ---
**Author:** ![Lizard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/dfb087/32.png) [@Lizard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lizard)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 12:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/24 "2003-04-15T12:32:55Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wolfman \* > \*\*The one post that sticks in my memory most was a sequential title post. I don’t wanna slow the board with a search, but the gist was. > > What is the largest thing you have ever stuck in your Anus? > Ohhh god!! Please not my cat! \*\* Hey! That first thread was mine! Many interesting answers all 'round, although **AudreyK** wouldn’t tell, the party-pooper. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Caricci](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/85f322/32.png) [@Caricci](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Caricci)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 1:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/25 "2003-04-15T13:38:12Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by JohnT \* > \*\*Technically I violated the OP by listing whole threads. If I had to go with a funniest post, than LNO’s OP listed above would be my favorite, closely followed by his explanation of how he realized that Jerry Lewis and Jerry Lee Lewis were not the same person. > > “Goodness, gracious, great balls of HEY LADY” indeed! LOL!!! \*\* This it totally my favorite too. ---
**Author:** ![BlackKnight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/eb8c5e/32.png) [@BlackKnight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlackKnight)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 7:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/26 "2003-04-15T19:12:36Z")
I wish I could remember who said this and in what thread, but it was about keeping sex interesting, and it went something like this: "… different techniques, different positions, different colored wigs on the goat … " For some reason I think it was **Giraffe** who posted that, but I could be wrong. ---
**Author:** ![vibrotronica](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/a9a28c/32.png) [@vibrotronica](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/vibrotronica)\ **Post date:** [April 15, 2003, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/27 "2003-04-15T19:33:39Z")
I don’t know who posted it, but in a GQ thread titled “What were T. rex’s arms used for?” was this little gem: “He could throw them up in the air and wave them like he just didn’t care.” ---
**Author:** ![cletus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@cletus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cletus)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 9:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/28 "2003-04-16T09:36:01Z")
So far, I’ve found some great stuff from **Scylla**. Hilarious! His pretty funny in the Pit and MPSIMS, not so funny in GQ and GD from what I’ve heard (haven’t gotten to those 2 forums yet). Nobody’s perfect I guess. Oh, and about those groundhogs… > [@](#): > > _orginally posted by Scylla_ > **I will then Take my 1948 SuperA international harvester (lots of exhaust)now equipped with some spare spouting cleverly engineered over the exhaust and attempt a serious fumigation at another choice location. I will stand by, not with my .223, but with my 12 gauge (loaded with slugs to splatter the beasties,) and a sidearm in order to pick off any potential escapees.** I could tell he was getting desperate by this point. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![meathead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f07891/32.png) [@meathead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/meathead)\ **Post date:** [April 16, 2003, 1:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/29 "2003-04-16T13:25:06Z")
Another post from **Scylla** , this one concerning his stupidest moment with the [snowplow](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=42189). ---
**Author:** ![cletus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/f08c70/32.png) [@cletus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cletus)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 5:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/30 "2003-04-28T05:06:40Z")
> [@](#): > > Even the Joker only narrowly escapes being completely lame on the basis that clowns are intrinsically evil. HAHAHAHA It’s true, clowns ARE intrinsically evil. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/31 "2003-04-28T22:54:28Z")
**Okay, everybody read mine because they’re funny!** First, there’s [Is there a good reason that the cooks at McDonalds ALWAYS place the cooked meat pattie off center of the hamburger bun?](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=132403) by **murphydog**. [Richie Rich is a fucking cocksucker](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=135869) by **Legomancer**. If the title alone doesn’t kill you, here’s an excerpt. > [@](#): > > And what’s this? Now you’re pissed off at Gloria because she made you sneeze while you were tidying up your safe, resulting in money scattered everywhere? Oh no, horror of horrors! I HATE it when my TRILLION DOLLARS are all in disarray! And [Why 0 ÷ 0 = 1](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=166355) by **0rbytal**. Maybe not hil-freakin-arious, but I did find it amusing that **DanielWithrow** managed to explain why it does not using a simple marbles example, then everyone else comes in here with a bunch of calculus and other fancy schmancy mathematics, waaaaaay overcomplicating the issue. Made me laugh. ---
**Author:** ![Zoe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/a4c791/32.png) [@Zoe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zoe)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2003, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/32 "2003-04-28T23:09:59Z")
I’m so bad about names, but one OP that was beautifully crafted and wildly funny was about an encounter with a black widow spider. ---
**Author:** ![Payton\_s\_Servant](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/3da27b/32.png) [@Payton\_s\_Servant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Payton_s_Servant)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 12:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/33 "2003-04-29T00:05:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zoe \* > \*\*I’m so bad about names, but one OP that was beautifully crafted and wildly funny was about an encounter with a black widow spider. \*\* _Blushes and shyly raises his hand while staring at his shoes_ That would be me. ---
**Author:** ![elelle](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/f0a364/32.png) [@elelle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elelle)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/34 "2003-04-29T01:14:55Z")
Yep, Payton’s was worth the search, for those who missed it: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=174503](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=174503) Uncle Beer’s voyage into a weird onyond, Guy Stuff, is the epitome of SDMB collective humor. Garbled due to board software change, and lengthy, but an amazing board effort at sustained storytelling. ---
**Author:** ![Baker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/bb73d2/32.png) [@Baker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baker)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 1:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/35 "2003-04-29T01:32:49Z")
OK, I just screwed up and made this post in a thread this one was linked to. I just wanted to say that THIS is a thread I am going to bookmark, because it has most of the funniest posts/threads ever, and I always forget to keep track of them. Nobody has mentioned the “prehensile rectum” thread yet have they? And as long as I’ve been here you would think I’d have seen this legendary “Goat Porn” thread, but I haven’t. Does anyone have a link? ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 1:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/36 "2003-04-29T01:49:58Z")
Aggh, why damn my Godforsaken curiosity lead me toward that thread? I have a _ **HORRIBLE** _ case of arachnophobia. Oh God, oh God, oh God, now I’m going to be paranoid for the next 6 days. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 1:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/37 "2003-04-29T01:59:59Z")
I never make sense. Why _did_ my Godforsaken curiosity… ---
**Author:** ![zut](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zut/32/2875_2.png) [@zut](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zut)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 10:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/38 "2003-04-29T10:50:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by vibrotronica \* > I don’t know who posted it, but in a GQ thread titled “What were T. rex’s arms used for?” was this little gem: > > “He could throw them up in the air and wave them like he just didn’t care.” I remember that! The visual I got of a T Rex sort of sliding through the Cretaceous swamp waving it’s little stubby arms in time to the beat was hysterical. Originally posted in [this thread](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=26377). Although the line posted above is the best from the thread, there’s enough other assorted GQ silliness to make good reading. ---
**Author:** ![Shade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/2bfe46/32.png) [@Shade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shade)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/39 "2003-04-29T11:07:00Z")
[Some of Sauron’s pit rants](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/search.php?action=showresults&searchid=584119&sortby=lastpost&sortorder=descending) are classic. The wynn-dixie one is the 'mayfield turtle tracks ice-cream’ist, so I recommend starting with that. ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2003, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410/40 "2003-04-29T16:48:43Z")
I’ll never forget The Horror of blimps. Honorable mention also goes to several things I’ve read from Billy Rubin and Typo mna, and there’s a **ton** of hilarious things I’ve read that are so funny I immediately forget them (that ever happen to anyone else?), but the funniest post that has stuck with me the longest… …I can’t remember who posted it (for some reason I want to say JimmyNipples) but it was in a GQ thread a loooong time ago where someone was asking “Why shouldn’t you eat salicia gel?” (or something like that) and this guy goes off into a whole descriptive paragraph about how the stuff turns you into a woman. The funniest line I remember that almost made me choke was… [paraphrased until the quotation marks] And then it dries up all your non-skeletal muscles and they shrink up inside of your body. Guess who that is? “You guessed it, Junior and the boys!” If anyone else remembers this and can find a link I’ll give you a high five. :D. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-funniest-post-youve-ever-seen-on-sdmb/168410.md?page=3)