# What is the Legal Status of the Undead? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [January 15, 2009, 1:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417 "2009-01-15T13:10:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 10:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/21 "2009-01-15T22:30:55Z")
> [@mks57](#): > > Could you use that as a defense in a criminal case? > > Yes, I shot the bastard, but here are the results of a DNA test that conclusively proves that I’m not a human. Can I go now? Naw, that definition just applies to a civil case. ---
**Author:** ![Rico](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rico/32/3582_2.png) [@Rico](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rico)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 10:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/22 "2009-01-15T22:43:01Z")
\ Can’t see a factual question here. At least about the zombies. Let’s move this to MPSIMS GQ \> MPSIMS \ ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [January 15, 2009, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/23 "2009-01-15T23:51:21Z")
In the case of the sexual assault charges for a corpse against three teens in Wisconsin, it has been ruled that they can be charged and the woman didn’t need to be alive. They never did manage to dig her up, so at least it didn’t get to that point. I wonder if they dig up a 17 year old three years later if they get charged for sex with a minor? Let’s hope that doesn’t occur. ---
**Author:** ![Derleth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Derleth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Derleth)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 10:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/24 "2009-01-16T10:01:02Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > I wonder if they dig up a 17 year old three years later if they get charged for sex with a minor? If the 17 year old has been dead three years, wouldn’t she be 20 and therefore not a minor? ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 12:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/25 "2009-01-16T12:27:45Z")
> [@Derleth](#): > > If the 17 year old has been dead three years, wouldn’t she be 20 and therefore not a minor? Corpses don’t continue to physically mature and have birthdays. It’s always the body of a dead 17 year old. I asked the question, because now this can be relevant in the next court case like this. I think they ruled badly in saying a corpse is covered by the sexual assault laws, like a living person. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 1:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/26 "2009-01-16T13:04:33Z")
> [@Ethilrist](#): > > You forgot about vampires. And ghosts. And liches ( sentient unlike zombies, yet obviously dead unlike many vampires ). And what about possessing spirits ? ---
**Author:** ![Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tapioca_Dextrin)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 1:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/27 "2009-01-16T13:22:37Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > 1. Those in coldsleep are incompetent but not dead. Just like someone in an irreversible coma, they cannot be removed from life support and deprived of life without due process of law. Killing them would be murder. I suppose if a coldsleeper (band name!) had left a durable power of attorney, the holder of her POA could sue and be sued on her behalf, but otherwise she’s pretty much “on ice” legally-speaking for the duration of her medically-induced slumber. I know of no attorneys currently practicing coldsleep law. Actually, [you’re wrong](http://www.alcor.org/Library/html/legalstatus.html). Frozen Heads in a Jar are dead. You can’t have your head frozen in a jar unless you’ve already been declared legally dead. Most “patients” fund their, um, aftercare by having life insurance policies cashed in for them by [del]gullible[/del] concerned relatives. As to what (legally) happens if a Frozen Head in a Jar is ever successfully revived, you’ll have to await Hyperchicken’s arguments in front of Judge Whitey. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [January 16, 2009, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/28 "2009-01-16T14:54:54Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > I dunno about the _undead_, but in Ontario at least there is actual legal precident for the legal status of Martians. > > I’m an Ontario lawyer, and I was tangentally involved in that case. > > Emphasis added. > > There is a legal reason the case went the way it did, which I’ll bore people with if they want to know. 😃 My Question: how much did the taxpayers shell out for this bit of legal nonsense? I’m glad-I guess other countrie’s leagal systems are just as silly as the US? ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 6:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/29 "2009-01-17T06:11:35Z")
> [@Tapioca\_Dextrin](#): > > Actually, [you’re wrong](http://www.alcor.org/Library/html/legalstatus.html). Frozen Heads in a Jar are dead. You can’t have your head frozen in a jar unless you’ve already been declared legally dead. Most “patients” fund their, um, aftercare by having life insurance policies cashed in for them by [del]gullible[/del] concerned relatives… Not so fast. Who said anything about decapitation? The OP stated, “They will be revived at some future date.” For the purposes of my answer, I took that as a given. ---
**Author:** ![Lordviper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/a8b319/32.png) [@Lordviper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lordviper)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/30 "2009-01-17T06:25:18Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > Not so fast. Who said anything about decapitation? The OP stated, “They will be revived at some future date.” For the purposes of my answer, I took that as a given. Thats an intresting arguementive statement. Though I supose the head could be reattached to another body maybe in the future? That or we’re gonna have a real-life “Robocop” situation in the sense that we can be reanimated as cyborgs. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 7:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/31 "2009-01-17T07:31:03Z")
> [@Harmonious\_Discord](#): > > In the case of the sexual assault charges for a corpse against three teens in Wisconsin, it has been ruled that they can be charged and the woman didn’t need to be alive. They never did manage to dig her up, so at least it didn’t get to that point. I wonder if they dig up a 17 year old three years later if they get charged for sex with a minor? Let’s hope that doesn’t occur. I thought they DID dig her up, but didn’t get as far as the, er, act before being interrupted. As to the martian guy, I can already envion his next legal actions – suing to be granted human civil, even though he isn’t claiming to be human. I wonder, maybe he needs a guardian or a trustee of someone like that to sue on his behalf. Can a dog sue? Let’s say some rich nutcase has died and left 10 million dollrs to her dog (Leona Helmsley, I’m looking at you!). She names someone to look after the dog’s interests. Now, let’s say the city was going to sieze a park that the dog loved to play in and build a – well, a something. Could the dog sue to stop it? Eh, not a very good example, maybe someone could come up with something better. The real question is, can you figure out a way to give a non-human some kind of legal basis on which to bring a legal action? ---
**Author:** ![Khampelf](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Khampelf](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khampelf)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 9:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/32 "2009-01-17T09:17:57Z")
> [@Malthus](#): > > Naw, that definition just applies to a civil case. And even if it did apply, as a martian with no legal status, they can just take you out and shoot you. “Nope, no law 'gainst shooting martians, fire away, boys!” ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/33 "2009-01-17T17:42:18Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > My Question: how much did the taxpayers shell out for this bit of legal nonsense? > I’m glad-I guess other countrie’s leagal systems are just as silly as the US? There is no way to avoid silly lawsuits altogether, because someone has to decide whether they are silly or not (hence, summary proceedings). At least the matter did not go to trial. ---
**Author:** ![Malthus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/85f322/32.png) [@Malthus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malthus)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/34 "2009-01-17T17:45:46Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I thought they DID dig her up, but didn’t get as far as the, er, act before being interrupted. > > As to the martian guy, I can already envion his next legal actions – suing to be granted human civil, even though he isn’t claiming to be human. I wonder, maybe he needs a guardian or a trustee of someone like that to sue on his behalf. > > Can a dog sue? Let’s say some rich nutcase has died and left 10 million dollrs to her dog (Leona Helmsley, I’m looking at you!). She names someone to look after the dog’s interests. Now, let’s say the city was going to sieze a park that the dog loved to play in and build a – well, a something. Could the dog sue to stop it? > > Eh, not a very good example, maybe someone could come up with something better. The real question is, can you figure out a way to give a non-human some kind of legal basis on which to bring a legal action? Set up a corporation without share capital to own both the dog and the other assets after the death of the owner. The corporation’s objects are to promote the dog’s welfare. The corporation has status to sue to promote its objects, and will survive the death of the dog’s owner. ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/35 "2009-01-17T18:03:21Z")
> [@ralph124c](#): > > My Question: how much did the taxpayers shell out for this bit of legal nonsense? > I’m glad-I guess other countrie’s leagal systems are just as silly as the US? You way well think it’s nonsense, but consider this: Canadians now have the protection of legal precedent to disregard suits by Martians. They now have peace of mind. Contrariwise, when Ray Walston shows up and sues you for violating his Martian rights in America, who knows what may happen? Maybe you’ll get a pro-Mars activist judge and a California jury. You don’t know! ---
**Author:** ![clairobscur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/839c29/32.png) [@clairobscur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clairobscur)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/36 "2009-01-17T21:53:21Z")
> [@AK84](#): > > I am a lawyer, shoot away. If something like that had occurred in England it would have been tossed out in 2 minutes, the guy would have had a wasted costs order against him, and a visit to the Judges chambers, and it won’t be about what a fine advocate he was. Which would be a shame. Who doesn’t want to read rulings about ludicrous cases? ---
**Author:** ![Lumpy](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lumpy/32/446_2.png) [@Lumpy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lumpy)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 9:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/37 "2009-01-17T21:56:56Z")
Silly thread/article conflation: \*\* Can cryogenic cooling miraculously improve the Legal Status of the Undead?\*\* ---
**Author:** ![Juniper200](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/df788c/32.png) [@Juniper200](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Juniper200)\ **Post date:** [January 17, 2009, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/38 "2009-01-17T22:01:37Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > Contrariwise, when Ray Walston shows up and sues you for violating his Martian rights in America, who knows what may happen? Maybe you’ll get a pro-Mars activist judge and a California jury. You don’t know! Well, that just brings us [back to the OP](http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=19590). ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 19, 2009, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/39 "2009-01-19T06:10:54Z")
Better still, Ray Walston played a judge on _Picket Fences_. He could rule in his own case. Conflict of interest? Hah! Zombies don’t need no steenkin’ ethical rules! ---
**Author:** ![Bookkeeper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bookkeeper/32/281_2.png) [@Bookkeeper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bookkeeper)\ **Post date:** [January 26, 2009, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417/40 "2009-01-26T15:01:59Z")
If he is ruled to be a Martian, I expect that the Immigration people would first want to have a talk with him about illegal entry. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-legal-status-of-the-undead/481417.md?page=3)