haha,
say Reverend Tim, as usual, why did you want to know? Is it once again part of your sermon?
Do tell! SOunds exciting, I think to join your church, if you use a sign language interpreter, you won’t need to be concerned with a singular turd word.
Handy, I was afraid someone would notice the running “theme” of my last couple threads…
Since you asked: I got this sick-ass email from a friend entitled “Lesser Known World Records”. One was the following:
I doubt this was anything more than a joke, but I got to thinking, if someone somewhere was to record things like this, they would probably like to use a more “sophisticated” word than ‘turd’. And I couldn’t think of one.
Well, I’ll tell ya there’s nothing better than a nice well formed stool in the morning. Feces is what a stool is made out of. GI docs use the term stool do describe a stool or parts of a stool.
Are there terms for stools that float and stools that sink?
Are floaters simply sinkers that have microfarts trapped inside or can stools have such differing densities? Do certain foods increase or decrease stool density? And what about those skid marks?
Billyrubin makes shit brown, its the medical term for old blood in the poop.
“How do you deal with a “Code Brown” when the person’s injuries make it extremely dangerous to move them (e.g. a spinal injury)?”
I’d be happy to explain, Chef Troy. If the spinal injury is stable (i.e. no loose vertebrae slipping around) you coerce some other nurses to assist. The number depends on the size of the patient, but generally at least 3, and to make up for it you have to buy them lunch later. You logroll the patient, moving the whole body at once so the spine stays in perfect alignment. This is scary because if you screw up, whoops! the patient is paralyzed forever! With unstable spinal fractures, the patient is usually on a rotorest bed, a horrible contraption which makes bathing nearly impossible. The bed has sections on the bottom that detach, so you can climb under the bed and wash whatever parts you can reach. This bed was not designed by a nurse.
“Billyrubin makes shit brown, its the medical term for old blood in the poop.”
Actually, handy, old blood in the poop turns it black, hence the term “tarry stools”. Or, to be really technical, you call this “melena”. Bilirubin is a pigment derived from old red blood cells that is excreted by the gall bladder as a component of bile. If your gall bladder is plugged up, your poop turns gray and your skin, eyes, and urine turn yellow because the bilirubin is absorbed into your blood. It makes you itch, too. 
Okay, what if the patient is, say, badly burned over a large percentage of her body?
I know this is really morbid of me but enquiring minds want to know.
Live a Lush Life
Da Chef
We don’t treat serious burns at my hospital- which is good, because I’m not sure I could do that. BUT I have had several patients with flesh eating strep, really bad bedsores (which they developed at home, not under MY care), and other conditions that create large areas with no skin. It’s awful when liquid poop gets into open wounds. I give the patient as much morphine as I can, then use a special skin care product that comes in a squirt bottle, then blot blot blot.
When the skin is torn up and the patient has frequent loose stools, you have to put in a rectal tube or use an ostomy pouch. Then you’ll still have problems, because the tube itself can contribute to skin breakdown, and it’s nearly impossible to get a good seal with an ostomy bag around the, ah, orifice. Some patients actually have to have colostomies to keep the poop out of the raw flesh.
Aren’t you happy you asked?
You gotta love people who’ve studied enough Latin to give us the declinations of all the fun words. I have now officially adopted “fex” into my vocabulary. “Coproid” just doesn’t hold a candle to it.
Oh, dogfex!
Cave Diem! Carpe Canem!