Are you friends with YOUR BOSS, or is there some policy that actually allows that level of intrusion into your private life? I’d almost rather the office assumed I was lying than have someone from work come banging on my door, especially if I’m truly that sick.
When I was a kid, I won an art contest sponsored by the local newspaper. My prize was two tickets to the circus. Sure enough, I got sick, so my brother and his friend went. They didn’t even bring me back a souvenir. 
Several years later I was very sick on the day I had to take my SAT. Got a 1600 anyway. 
I’m petrified to go outside or do anything thanks to this thread. I’m convinced I will start projectile vomiting and diarrhea-ing all over the place at the drop of a hat, or any other important function.
I was on a boat trip in the Mekong Delta - little open outboard motor boat with no facilities at all. I also had a very nasty bout of diaorreah. At our first village stop, I jumped off the boat with extreme urgency and ran around looking for any kind of toilet. Via quite graphic sign language, a villager understood what my need was, and I was pointed towards a little pond. There were two logs sticking up vertically in the middle of the pond, and two horizontal logs nailed at one end to the top of them, with the other ends on the bank. I had to tightrope walk to the end and squat down within a six-inch high, grass-skirted enclosure around the business end of the ‘toilet’. As I did what I did, little fish came up and ate what I was doing. When I finished I heard a round of applause - all the villagers had come out to watch me shit.
throws arms open wide “It’s the Circle of Life…”
This was the phone company–Mountain Bell (at the time). They did this because there had been a recent contract renegotiation, threatened strike, work slowdown kind of thing, sort of the phone co. version of the “blue flu” so they came out to make sure if you called in sick, you were really sick.
I was really sick.
But actually on friendly terms with my boss.
Another great user name/post combo.
I got strep throat a couple days before I had to report to my first command after 30 days of leave. Totally laid me out, but like an idiot I tried to make it anyway. I drove to Norfolk(from South carolina), was sick, barely able to focus, in no condition whatsoever to drive. Didn’t know the city at all, had never been there.
Through sheer dumb luck, I found myself next to a buddy while driving on the interstate, and followed him in, and he and his wife had to help me up to the hotel room. I felt like death warmed over the next day(so considerably better) and ended up reporting in, but I went straight to medical and back to the hotel.
In the middle of final exam week of my senior year in college I came down with the flu. I took one final at the start, when I was relatively ok, but the second final I took in full-blown flu mode. I didn’t feel like going through the hassle of getting a pass from the health center to reschedule it, so I chugged a bunch of dayquil and took it. I actually didn’t even fully answer the last question because I had to run to the bathroom to puke. Since I couldn’t leave and come back, I had to hand it in unfinished.
I fully blame that flu and final exam for only getting a C in the class, when I had easily a B+, if not A-, average going into it.
Was planning a trip to LA (from Chico, so a long way) to be at my best friend’s big important life event, and got a mysterious and unpredictable very painful thing going on. So I couldn’t go. (It turned out to be gallbladder attacks, but no one figured that out until afterwards.)
I woke up this morning with a sore throat, swollen lymph nodes, a splitting headache and a fever. I’m getting on a plane to London in the morning to visit my husband’s family. I’d call that inopportune.
The day before I was scheduled to get a Tubal Ligation, I got a cold that turned into the worst case of Pneumonia I’ve ever had. The reason it turned bad is because I could’nt take any medication, eat or drink the night before.
Plus, the doctor was being an asshole and refused to reschedule until he could see for himself that I was too sick for surgery. I had to wait 3 hours for him at his office, still not allowed to have anything until he got there. I have a really high pain/discomfort threshold, but I wanted to curl up and die.
In my first job in the real workforce, my bosses called me into an office to give me the details on an exciting new development project that they thought I was just the guy to get done; very exciting, very flattering…and I’m turning green and about to puke. Had to excuse myself in the middle, race to the bathroom, and hurl…go home and hear the rest of the presentation a few days later. I don’t think I’ve gotten sick at work before or since.
When I was just a wee shaver, growing up on the central California coast, where it snows approximately once every 50 years, it snowed…the day I had tonsillitis and my mother wouldn’t let me go out and play.
The worst timing was when I had the flu and had to go to a job interview. In a snow storm. I would have called to postpone, but the job paid double my present salary and no way was I going to miss it. I don’t remember much of anything that was said, as I was feverish, but I got the job. Six months later I was laid off.
I got e.coli poisoning on the day I started my period. Let’s just say there was a lot of blood involved and I couldn’t tell where it was coming from.
I also couldn’t tell what portion of the agony in my abdomen was from the e.coli and what was run-of-the-mill menstrual cramps, so I didn’t take any pain killers for fear of somehow antagonizing the evil bacteria.
And the universe really had it out for me because I have PCOS and can count the number of times I’ve had a “time of the month” two months in a row in my post-pubescent life on one hand, and I had in fact had a period the month before. That really wasn’t fair.
I got pneumonia the day school got out for Christmas vacation. I got out of the hospital on New Year’s Eve. Just in time to go back to school. In the 5th grade this was not just inopportune; it was tragic.