# What is the most useless product you know of? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 3, 2008, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708 "2008-08-03T16:19:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/21 "2008-08-04T02:47:03Z")
The enlargement screens to make your tiny television screen into a large screen television. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/22 "2008-08-04T02:52:54Z")
[QUOTE=Harmonious Discord] The enlargement screens to make your tiny television screen into a large screen television. [/QUOTE] I’ve never seen those–what do they do? (Obviously not what is advertised, I gather) ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/23 "2008-08-04T05:12:37Z")
22 posts and no mention of **Head On!** (Apply directly to forehead) ---
**Author:** ![Hippy\_Hollow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hippy_hollow/32/4841_2.png) [@Hippy\_Hollow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hippy_Hollow)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 6:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/24 "2008-08-04T06:00:45Z")
[QUOTE=beowulff] 22 posts and no mention of **Head On!** (Apply directly to forehead) [/QUOTE] Damn, I was gonna say that… isn’t it basically car wax? ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/25 "2008-08-04T07:16:52Z")
Those outrageously expensive, useless **ionizers** that supposedly make the air in your home as fresh as an ocean breeze. Every study has shown them to be worthless junk, but Shaper Image had (or still has?) pages and pages of various models for sale in their catalogs at ridiculous prices. ---
**Author:** ![ralph124c](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/8797f3/32.png) [@ralph124c](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ralph124c)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 7:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/26 "2008-08-04T07:43:27Z")
I would have to say: MOUTHWASH: whatever effect it has on your breath, lasts for about 5 minutes. I’d also nominate: those things you put in your toilet tank: aside from turning the water blue, I don’t see any effect. EXPENSIVE CASKETS: who cars what they plant you in? To corpses enjoy expensive coffins? ---
**Author:** ![SkeptiJess](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea666f/32.png) [@SkeptiJess](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SkeptiJess)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 11:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/27 "2008-08-04T11:31:27Z")
Anything homeopathic. Especially at a store where they stick the homeopathic ‘remedies’ on the same shelf as the genuine remedies, so you can accidently grab and buy a bottle of sugar pills thinking you’ve got some real medicine. ---
**Author:** ![msmith537](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d9b06d/32.png) [@msmith537](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/msmith537)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 11:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/28 "2008-08-04T11:36:33Z")
Any of the various gadgets to improve gas mileage. Cell phone cases. Cell phones are small enough to fit in your pocket. Why would you want to look like a tool wearing one like it was part of your Bat-utility belt? ---
**Author:** ![Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@Scoundrel\_Swanswater](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoundrel_Swanswater)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 12:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/29 "2008-08-04T12:09:34Z")
[QUOTE=msmith537] Cell phone cases. Cell phones are small enough to fit in your pocket. Why would you want to look like a tool wearing one like it was part of your Bat-utility belt? [/QUOTE] Because you don’t want to have to buy a new phone _again_ because yours fell in the toilet? Because the battery might get too hot in your pocket? Hey, I might look like a tool, but at least the exploding battery won’t rip my scrotum off. :eek: And not all phones are that small. ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/30 "2008-08-04T12:19:24Z")
Bottled water. I’m not paying for what I get free from the tap. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/31 "2008-08-04T12:38:55Z")
[QUOTE=Annie-Xmas] Bottled water. I’m not paying for what I get free from the tap. [/QUOTE] I can see how it is useless for you. But for me - with sulfur and iron in my water - it doesn’t taste good enough for me to drink; so I am content to get a gallon jug of water from the store. ---
**Author:** ![enipla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/54ee81/32.png) [@enipla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/enipla)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/32 "2008-08-04T12:57:49Z")
[QUOTE=Scoundrel Swanswater] And not all phones are that small. [/QUOTE] Yep, and I sure as hell don’t want something else in my pocket. And how do you answer it if your sitting down? Or driving? ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 2:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/33 "2008-08-04T14:53:15Z")
Somethings are useless, but other things can’t be seen as anything but an out and out fraud, such as the [Link broken by Moderator] ---
**Author:** ![RiverRunner](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/977dab/32.png) [@RiverRunner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RiverRunner)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/34 "2008-08-04T15:14:33Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Somethings are useless, but other things can’t be seen as anything but an out and out fraud, such as the [link deleted by Moderator] I don’t think that’s a fraud. Even the sales pitch mentions > [@](#): > > Novelty for you or gag gift for a friend. In an amusing – well, to me, anyway – sidelight, it also has this: > [@](#): > > For the tech hip, the DVD Rewinder also has an additional MP3 port and plays a separate “rewind” sound. RR ETA: If you go to the web site, be sure to read the [link broken by Moderator] . ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/35 "2008-08-04T15:31:17Z")
Eyelash primer. The last time I bought mascara, the makeup counter lady tried to convince me that my eyelashes would shrivel up and fall off if I didn’t use lash primer. I literally laughed at her. In nearly 40 years, I’d never heard of lash primer, and so far it doesn’t appear that my eyelids are in any danger of going bald. ---
**Author:** ![DrCube](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a3d4f5/32.png) [@DrCube](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrCube)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/36 "2008-08-04T15:35:19Z")
The [Perfect Pancake](http://www.perfectpancake.net/). It sure as hell isn’t ‘easier than turning a doorknob’. For one thing, the two sides don’t meet – there is like an inch-and-a-half gap between the top pan and the bottom pan – so if you aren’t perfectly careful your half-cooked pancake will fall out all over the stove. Also, the ‘no-drip batter dispenser’ that comes with it drips like a son of a bitch. Finally, this little baby fits in both categories 1 and 2: It has no reason to exist (really, how hard is it to use a spatula?) and it fails miserably at its intended task of cooking pancakes. I also nominate weed eaters for category number 2. I’ve never seen a power tool that so consistently fails at what it is supposed to do. It is basically a hundred-dollar disposable eyesore. It never fails: About the time the plastic line spool tangles up and needs to be replaced is always when the chintzy-ass two-cycle engine has some sort of catastrophic failure that will cost four times the price of a new weed eater to fix. I don’t think I’ve ever had one last through two lawn-trimming sessions. Where does Ryobi and Homelite get the people who design these things? From the bottom of the local community college’s mechanical engineering technician associates class? God I hate weed eaters. ---
**Author:** ![Cluricaun](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/bb73d2/32.png) [@Cluricaun](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cluricaun)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 3:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/37 "2008-08-04T15:40:03Z")
[QUOTE=RiverRunner] I don’t think that’s a fraud. Even the sales pitch mentions In an amusing – well, to me, anyway – sidelight, it also has this: RR ETA: If you go to the web site, be sure to read the [link broken by Moderator] Well color me whooshed. I had this image of some little old grandmother diligently putting her DVD’s of the Tennessee Ernie Ford show in there after watching them. ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/38 "2008-08-04T15:41:31Z")
[Hinged omelette pan](http://www.amazon.com/Progressive-NSOP-10-International-Omelet-Pan/dp/B0001WPNAY/ref=pd_bbs_1?ie=UTF8&s=home-garden&qid=1217864510&sr=8-1). Two sides, and then you swing them together to complete the omelette. Anybody who can get far enough to create an omelette but can’t figure out how to flip it over has bigger problems than this pan will solve. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![CookingWithGas](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cookingwithgas/32/485_2.png) [@CookingWithGas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CookingWithGas)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 3:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/39 "2008-08-04T15:44:40Z")
[QUOTE=DrCube] God I hate weed eaters. [/QUOTE] I’ve been using an electric one successfully for 12 years with none of the problems you describe. Maybe you just bought the wrong one. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 4, 2008, 4:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/40 "2008-08-04T16:01:55Z")
[QUOTE=DrCube] I also nominate weed eaters for category number 2. I’ve never seen a power tool that so consistently fails at what it is supposed to do. It is basically a hundred-dollar disposable eyesore. It never fails: About the time the plastic line spool tangles up and needs to be replaced is always when the chintzy-ass two-cycle engine has some sort of catastrophic failure that will cost four times the price of a new weed eater to fix. I don’t think I’ve ever had one last through two lawn-trimming sessions. Where does Ryobi and Homelite get the people who design these things? From the bottom of the local community college’s mechanical engineering technician associates class? God I hate weed eaters. [/QUOTE] I have a weedeater with the 4-stroke “4ource” engine that doesn’t need the stupid gas/oil mix, runs very smoothly. Still has the horrible string issues though. ☹ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708.md?page=3)