# What is the most useless product you know of? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 3, 2008, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708 "2008-08-03T16:19:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 12:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/61 "2008-08-05T00:49:24Z")
[Quote=Earl Snake-Hips Tucker] Flea collars. [/Quote] [QUOTE=Khadaji] Why? Do they not work or is there something better or do you just not mind fleas? [/QUOTE] Did you ever try to put one of those things around a flea’s neck? It’s frickin’ _impossible_. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 2:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/62 "2008-08-05T02:35:17Z")
Oh man, the stuff on [this page](http://www.phpure.com/energy.htm#flex_tech) is pure comedy gold. My two favorites: **The E Crystal** \*It is now used primarily in refrigerators to add energy to foods, make them taste better and last much longer (I have observed 2-5 weeks instead of 2-5 days). Also worn in the pocket or bra for chaos protection. Energize your bath water! Many more uses. (US$69.00) Price: USD $69.00 CAD $79.95 \* (Further information also reveals: \*Powerful, Practical and Effective! More value than either the excellent Bio Electric Shield or the highly regarded Q-Link. Plus, much more ENERGY! All at half the price! The E Crystal Environmental Chaos Eliminator has already become HUGELY successful! \*) **QE Pendant** \*The QE Pendant besides having a very large field of chaos energy protection also has the ability to keep coherent energies in motion. Energy that stagnates in the body builds up and can cause serious problems over time. […] Price: USD $189.00! CAD $219.95! \* ---
**Author:** ![chacoguy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/50afbb/32.png) [@chacoguy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chacoguy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 3:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/63 "2008-08-05T03:12:02Z")
Car Alarms. Have you ever heard one of these go off and not think: ‘Dumbass…’. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/64 "2008-08-05T03:37:48Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] I’ve never seen those–what do they do? (Obviously not what is advertised, I gather) [/QUOTE] It a magnifying glass to be mounted in front of your screen. ---
**Author:** ![Wheeljack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@Wheeljack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wheeljack)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/65 "2008-08-05T07:26:32Z")
[QUOTE=Drain Bead] Just to warn people, the site with the review of the DVD rewinder had a pop-up ad with a Trojan in it that set off my anti-virus and crashed Firefox. Luckily it never loaded. (thank you, Firefox!) [/QUOTE] It got mine too. I reported the post. ---
**Author:** ![Mangetout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mangetout/32/19_2.png) [@Mangetout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mangetout)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/66 "2008-08-05T08:09:07Z")
The majority of products in the Pampered Chef range fit the description of ‘solution looking for a problem’ or ‘useless product’. Sure, there is a sprinkling of great products (the big glass jugs with snap-on plastic lids, for example) but most of them are just pointless. For example: The one-handed rolling pin - which is just like a little paint roller with a hard drum instead of a fuzzy one. Why? I can see that it would be useful for a small number of people who only have the use of one hand, but otherwise… why? At the promotional party, the rep delivered a big (and obviously canned) speech about how _now, you only need use one hand to roll out your pastry!_. This is not a significant advance in culinary science if: -It doesn’t really work very well -All you do with your other hand is let it hang limply by your side. I guess if you’re a true ambidexter and can simultaneously use the other hand for chopping onions or something, then it’s an absolute boon, otherwise, not. ---
**Author:** ![Rich\_Mann](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ce73a5/32.png) [@Rich\_Mann](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rich_Mann)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 10:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/67 "2008-08-05T10:32:36Z")
[QUOTE=chacoguy420] Car Alarms. Have you ever heard one of these go off and not think: ‘Dumbass…’. [/QUOTE] OK…You beat me. I thought I had the win with leaf blowers, but I somehow managed to ban car alarms from my mind at just the wrong time. Much higher annoyingness_ubiquity_uselessness factor. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 11:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/68 "2008-08-05T11:15:49Z")
[QUOTE=Cluricaun] Somethings are useless, but other things can’t be seen as anything but an out and out fraud, such as the [Link broken by Moderator] [/QUOTE] I’ve gotten several complaints that the link to the dvd rewinder tries to download a virus, so I broke it. ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/69 "2008-08-05T11:33:09Z")
How about those teeny, tiny personal massagers? You know, the ones that take AAA batteries? I mean like that is going to help with your back or something! And why would women want to carry them in their purse anyway? Do women with desk jobs get back strain a lot? What? You say they are not for your back? :eek: ---
**Author:** ![BMalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e274bd/32.png) [@BMalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMalion)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/70 "2008-08-05T12:21:48Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] This thread isn’t about what isn’t personally worthwhile to you. That’s like a bald person coming in and saying that shampoo is the most useless thing they know of. Just because _you_ don’t like or use something doesn’t make it _a useless product_. I think what this thread is about was pretty clearly defined in the OP. It’s about things that don’t work for what they say they do, or create more hassle than they solve, etc. [/QUOTE] I’m sorry I jumped in with what I thought was a funny aside. It wasn’t funny to anyone else and you’d think I’d be used to that by now. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 12:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/71 "2008-08-05T12:51:34Z")
[QUOTE=Larry Mudd] The pump-action hard-boiled egg peeler. [/QUOTE] “Mind the overspray!” /Bridget Jones’s Mum ---
**Author:** ![TVeblen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4bbf92/32.png) [@TVeblen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TVeblen)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/72 "2008-08-05T13:09:03Z")
[QUOTE=BMalion] I’m sorry I jumped in with what I thought was a funny aside. It wasn’t funny to anyone else and you’d think I’d be used to that by now. [/QUOTE] I thought it was funny _and_ an interesting perspective. The anal control freak shit is pretty ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Sigmagirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c89c15/32.png) [@Sigmagirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sigmagirl)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 1:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/73 "2008-08-05T13:14:22Z")
> [@](#): > > For example: The one-handed rolling pin - which is just like a little paint roller with a hard drum instead of a fuzzy one. Why? I can see that it would be useful for a small number of people who only have the use of one hand, but otherwise… why? For rolling pastry inside the cookie sheet, so you can get the pastry right up into the edge of the pan. I use it for focaccia. I would have thought somebody would have mentioned those adhesive things you put on your feet that are supposed to “draw out the toxins.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/74 "2008-08-05T13:35:00Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] This thread isn’t about what isn’t personally worthwhile to you. That’s like a bald person coming in and saying that shampoo is the most useless thing they know of. Just because _you_ don’t like or use something doesn’t make it _a useless product_. I think what this thread is about was pretty clearly defined in the OP. It’s about things that don’t work for what they say they do, or create more hassle than they solve, etc. [/QUOTE] Funny, though, how all of the products mentioned so far seem to sell. This seems to indicate to me that _somebody_ finds them useful. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/75 "2008-08-05T13:47:21Z")
[QUOTE=Czarcasm] Funny, though, how all of the products mentioned so far seem to sell. This seems to indicate to me that _somebody_ finds them useful. [/QUOTE] I think it just indicates that they are well-marketed and that there are some people that _think_ they will be useful, and then order them, and then ten years later ask themselves, “Hey, have we ever even USED this thing that chops eggs into perfect cubes?” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/76 "2008-08-05T13:51:57Z")
[QUOTE=MsWhatsit] I think it just indicates that they are well-marketed and that there are some people that _think_ they will be useful, and then order them, and then ten years later ask themselves, “Hey, have we ever even USED this thing that chops eggs into perfect cubes?” [/QUOTE] Some people think the same way about television. It’s all _personal_ opinion. ---
**Author:** ![MsWhatsit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/eb8c5e/32.png) [@MsWhatsit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MsWhatsit)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 1:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/77 "2008-08-05T13:54:56Z")
[QUOTE=Czarcasm] Some people think the same way about television. It’s all _personal_ opinion. [/QUOTE] Some people think that the vast majority of televisions ever purchased are sitting in the back of someone’s junk drawer, completely unused? Well, you learn something new every day, I tell you what. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/78 "2008-08-05T14:05:55Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] **The E Crystal** _It is now used primarily in refrigerators to add energy to foods…_ [/QUOTE] Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t energy in foods called calories? Maybe we’ve now found the _source of America’s obesity problem_. Our refrigerators are making us fat! ---
**Author:** ![Lemur866](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lemur866/32/434_2.png) [@Lemur866](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lemur866)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/79 "2008-08-05T14:15:22Z")
[QUOTE=chacoguy420] Car Alarms. Have you ever heard one of these go off and not think: ‘Dumbass…’. [/QUOTE] Christ yes. The car alarm is completely useless. Let’s put it this way. How many times have you heard a car alarm go off and think, “Ohmigod, someone is stealing a car! Call the cops!” No, you hear the car alarm and think, “If I had a baseball bat I’d smash the fuck out of that car–and while I’m at it, I’ll hit the owner in the testicles a couple three times.” Car alarms should be illegal. ---
**Author:** ![VunderBob](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/839c29/32.png) [@VunderBob](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VunderBob)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 2:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/80 "2008-08-05T14:25:41Z")
Y’all know about the ultrasonic pest repellers you plug in to a wall socket. Proven many times to be absolutely worthless… I saw an ad on TV a couple weekends ago for a digital ultrasonic pest repeller… :dubious: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708.md?page=5)