# What is the most useless product you know of? **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 3, 2008, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708 "2008-08-03T16:19:16Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/81 "2008-08-05T14:40:04Z")
[QUOTE=VunderBob] I saw an ad on TV a couple weekends ago for a digital ultrasonic pest repeller… :dubious: [/QUOTE] It works great so long as your pests are also digital. I haven’t had a single Y2K bug in my kitchen since I started using mine. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 2:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/82 "2008-08-05T14:52:09Z")
[http://www.tornadoair.com/](http://www.tornadoair.com/) It’s basically a piece of metal you put in your car’s intake system that is supposed to “spin” the air for more efficient combustion. :rolleyes: Magnets. Magnets for your wrist, for your pet, for you car’s fuel line. Basically every product this company sells: [http://www.ecoflow.com/](http://www.ecoflow.com/) Foot detox pads: [http://www.healthmarvels.net/](http://www.healthmarvels.net/) ---
**Author:** ![BaneSidhe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/c5a1d2/32.png) [@BaneSidhe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BaneSidhe)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/83 "2008-08-05T15:22:59Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] Oh man, the stuff on [this page](http://www.phpure.com/energy.htm#flex_tech) is pure comedy gold. [/QUOTE] CHAOS IN YOUR BRA? Huh? I just thought that was called “Oh shit I have cracker crumbs down my shirt!” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/84 "2008-08-05T15:51:10Z")
[QUOTE=Earl Snake-Hips Tucker] Flea collars. [/QUOTE] Yes. Tightening them around the flea’s neck is a bitch. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 4:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/85 "2008-08-05T16:05:44Z")
[QUOTE=ASAKMOTSD] What? You say they are not for your back? :eek: [/QUOTE] No! They’re for your neck! You can clearly see in two different pictures on [this page](http://opalcat.com/Fun/snake-oil). ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/86 "2008-08-05T16:09:26Z")
[QUOTE=TVeblen] I thought it was funny _and_ an interesting perspective. The anal control freak shit is pretty ridiculous. [/QUOTE] It’s not “anal control freak shit” it’s just that I really don’t want this thread derailed into one of those kinds of threads where people get all elitist about the popular, common things that they personally are above. Next it will be someone saying they don’t personally see the need to own a cell phone, and therefore it’s the most useless product they know, etc etc etc. We’ve seen those threads before. They turn ugly and they aren’t any fun at all. I’m just trying to clarify the intent of the thread so that hopefully it doesn’t take that turn. I.e., that it is for things that would be considered usless/nonfunctional/junk by most people who used them. Things that flat-out don’t work, or that end up making a task take five times as long with no better results. Things like that. Not just things that are unpopular with some small subset of people. [QUOTE=Czarcasm] Some people think the same way about television. It’s all _personal_ opinion. [/QUOTE] Nobody thinks the same way about television, unless you are completely missing the point as well. Thinking “I have no use for this thing” is not what what I’m after here. The fact that everybody knows that tons of people watch TV and get the expected results proves that they don’t fall into the category under discussion. The things that are discussed in this thread, yes people are buying them. Generally they are duped into doing so and then don’t use the things, or they continue to use them thinking they are working (in the case of fake medical stuff and magnet bracelets and EMF-shielding crystals) when they’re just snake oil. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/87 "2008-08-05T16:38:39Z")
How about [Doggy Steps](http://www.doggysteps.com/)? I guess it technically does what it’s supposed to, but do we need a special product just to help your little yippy dog get up on your bed? ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/88 "2008-08-05T16:55:31Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] How about [Doggy Steps](http://www.doggysteps.com/)? I guess it technically does what it’s supposed to, but do we need a special product just to help your little yippy dog get up on your bed? [/QUOTE] Well my parents are devoted to their very small poodle who is getting on in years. It’s actually getting a bit dangerous for her to try to jump up on the bed, so they got her the steps. In her defense, she has woken my dad up a few times when his blood sugar dropped while he was asleep. Apparently some dogs can smell the difference. ---
**Author:** ![KneadToKnow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kneadtoknow/32/3999_2.png) [@KneadToKnow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/KneadToKnow)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/89 "2008-08-05T16:58:25Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] do we need a special product just to help your little yippy dog get up on your bed? [/QUOTE] Somebody did, or else Nicole Richie never would have gotten knocked up. ---
**Author:** ![control-z](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/eada6e/32.png) [@control-z](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/control-z)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/90 "2008-08-05T16:58:50Z")
[QUOTE=cher3] Well my parents are devoted to their very small poodle who is getting on in years. It’s actually getting a bit dangerous for her to try to jump up on the bed, so they got her the steps. In her defense, she has woken my dad up a few times when his blood sugar dropped while he was asleep. Apparently some dogs can smell the difference. [/QUOTE] I know people like their little dogs, but couldn’t a footstool perform the same function? Or a cardboard box? ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/91 "2008-08-05T17:03:04Z")
[QUOTE=control-z] How about [Doggy Steps](http://www.doggysteps.com/)? I guess it technically does what it’s supposed to, but do we need a special product just to help your little yippy dog get up on your bed? [/QUOTE] I don’t have steps, but I have a ramp. My cat is 18 1/2 years old and only has three legs. She can’t jump onto the couch but she really likes to come up there and sit by you or on your lap, and she likes the patch of sun that falls on the end of the couch. That ramp has made a huge difference in her happiness and ability to keep doing the things that make her happy. (And a footstool wouldn’t provide enough for her… she couldn’t jump up onto that, either. Nor a cardboard box, but even if a cardboard box worked… who wants a cardboard box to become part of their permanent furniture??) ---
**Author:** ![ASAKMOTSD](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/919ad9/32.png) [@ASAKMOTSD](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASAKMOTSD)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/92 "2008-08-05T17:04:36Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] No! They’re for your neck! You can clearly see in two different pictures on [this page](http://opalcat.com/Fun/snake-oil). [/QUOTE] Of course! My mistake! I see women massaging their neck with those all the time! :smack: ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 5:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/93 "2008-08-05T17:36:13Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] I don’t have steps, but I have a ramp. My cat is 18 1/2 years old and only has three legs. She can’t jump onto the couch but she really likes to come up there and sit by you or on your lap, and she likes the patch of sun that falls on the end of the couch. That ramp has made a huge difference in her happiness and ability to keep doing the things that make her happy. (And a footstool wouldn’t provide enough for her… she couldn’t jump up onto that, either. Nor a cardboard box, but even if a cardboard box worked… who wants a cardboard box to become part of their permanent furniture??) [/QUOTE] The posh people get escalators or elevators. I’ve got it. A spiral stairs going around the pole of a floor lamp so it blends in better. People won’t even notice. ---
**Author:** ![Harmonious\_Discord](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/74df32/32.png) [@Harmonious\_Discord](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Harmonious_Discord)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/94 "2008-08-05T17:42:47Z")
The spray on hair is really worse then you probably imagine. One Halloween when I wanted to spray on temporary white for my hair I picked up a can clearanced for $1. It was about like grade school tempera paint in the hair. I had to go back and buy the stuff I would have normally bought in the Halloween isle. It looked too bad for Halloween! ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/95 "2008-08-05T18:10:31Z")
[QUOTE=MsWhatsit] I"Hey, have we ever even USED this thing that chops eggs into perfect cubes?" [/QUOTE] Just for the sake of clarity…in case you are refering to my Ronco Egg cuber. It doesnt cut the boiled egg into little cubes, nor does it shave/cut the boiled egg in a cube shape. Miracle of Miracles you end up with a whole boiled egg that that is cubed shape. Interestingly enough, the yoke is often well centered. Perhaps one day with a lot of time to kill and a party to go to I’ll take a plate of cubical deviled eggs. Now only if I could get the yoke cubical as well. Perhaps in the 24th century they will have that. Maybe even cubical boiled eggs that still have the shell on. Mankind can dare to dream. Blll ---
**Author:** ![Jake](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/f475e1/32.png) [@Jake](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jake)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/96 "2008-08-05T19:14:11Z")
[QUOTE=RealityChuck] The [Vitalizer Plus](http://www.phpure.com/energy_products/water_vitalizer.htm)! $500 (now only $445! Buy two!) device that creates hexagonal water®! Be sure to get an additional mineral cubes ($85 each)! Use the power of the vortex to have more natural, hexagonal water! Only nine glasses a day will start you on the way to hexagonal health! [/QUOTE] Jeez Chuck, I thought I’d seen it all, but nothing quite as blatantly phony as this! How do they get away with it?? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/97 "2008-08-05T19:14:52Z")
[QUOTE=MsWhatsit] Some people think that the vast majority of televisions ever purchased are sitting in the back of someone’s junk drawer, completely unused? Well, you learn something new every day, I tell you what. [/QUOTE] Yes. I had no idea so many people had such large drawers. ---
**Author:** ![BMax](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bmax/32/4267_2.png) [@BMax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BMax)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 7:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/98 "2008-08-05T19:55:20Z")
[QUOTE=RealityChuck] The [Vitalizer Plus](http://www.phpure.com/energy_products/water_vitalizer.htm)! $500 (now only $445! Buy two!) device that creates hexagonal water®! Be sure to get an additional mineral cubes ($85 each)! Use the power of the vortex to have more natural, hexagonal water! Only nine glasses a day will start you on the way to hexagonal health! [/QUOTE] The sad thing is that I know lots of people who already believe that kind of garbage and one family would buy that if they weren’t poor. In their defense, they’re Russian immigrants and are influenced by both superstition and Russian pseudoscience. ---
**Author:** ![MrSquishy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9e5f3/32.png) [@MrSquishy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrSquishy)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/99 "2008-08-05T21:23:42Z")
[QUOTE=Sigmagirl] For rolling pastry inside the cookie sheet, so you can get the pastry right up into the edge of the pan. I use it for focaccia. I would have thought somebody would have mentioned those adhesive things you put on your feet that are supposed to “draw out the toxins.” [/QUOTE] How about _any_ product that claims to remove “toxins” from your body? I suppose they might be good, **if you don’t have a functioning liver**. I’d like to nominate the [nasal aspirator](http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2792275). I don’t know, maybe I was using it wrong, but I was never able to get it to suck anything out of either of my kids’ noses. ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708/100 "2008-08-05T21:27:58Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] Yes. I had no idea so many people had such large drawers. [/QUOTE] Are you saying that it’s the _television_ that’s making my butt look big? And don’t look now, but we have ear candles in the ads. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-most-useless-product-you-know-of/458708.md?page=6)