Let us coin a word. With all due respect, I place in nomination for the word that identifies the person who is compulsive about being correct all the time, on all topics, in all circumstances (trumpets and alarums): “Unclebillism,” also known as “the Uncle Bill Complex.” A synonym would be “Moderatorism.” 
Cecil Adams
I always called 'em Armchair Experts.
http://samvak.tripod.com/faq31.html
"The first step involves self-awareness. The narcissist often notices that something is wrong with him and with his life – but he never admits it. He prefers to invent elaborate constructions why that which is wrong with him – is really right. This is called: “Cognitive Dissonance”. The narcissist consistently convinces himself that everyone else is wrong, deficient, lacking, and incapable. He may be exceptional and made to suffer for it – but this does not mean that he is in the wrong. On the contrary, history will surely prove him right as it has done so many other idiosyncratic figures.
“This is the first and, by far, the most critical step: will the narcissist admit, be forced, or convinced to concede that he is absolutely and unconditionally wrong, that something is very amiss in his life, that he is in need of urgent, professional, help and that, in the absence of such help, things will only get worse? Having crossed this Rubicon, the narcissist will be more open and amenable to constructive suggestions and assistance.”
Narcissists believe they are perfect and have rather strong defense mechanisms to avoid having to confront this obvious error in the perception of human nature. Admitting narcissism is contrary to the nature of the disease.
I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I have read quite a bit about narcissism and I have dealt with a number of people in highly stressful situations whose medical records I have reviewed to corroborate that they are indeed narcissists, so I know whereof I speak: a narcissist will not admit to being a narcissist, there is no cure for narcissism, the most that can be accomplished with a very smart narcissist (this won’t work on dumb ones) is to acquaint them with the definition and let them know that you won’t put up with that kind of behavior and be firm.
It is true that refusal to admit narcisissim is not in the DSM II or DSM IV, but that, IMHO, is merely because there is the more general refusal to admit fault or defect of any kind. In my experience, a narcissist that admits any kind of defect or mistake is insincere and will back out of it at the earliest opportunity, claiming some kind of fraud or duress or physical illness.
I’m a walking contradiction to that statement. I’m on pharmacological and talk therapy to work through problems that I have recognized since first grade. Despite, all my efforts I revisit them on a pathological basis. I’ve never blamed anyone but myself. Ultimately there are things in life that you can only do for yourself, and I’ve failed to do them on countless occasions.
You say narcissists never change, so should I just accept the fact that I can be an unlikable, pompous ass? Deep down I’m not that person, I don’t want to be that person, hell, I hate people like that. All I can do is keep trying to change. Even if I fail for the rest of my life I refuse to settle into that role.
I believe that is something different. It sounds like the swedish [Rättshaverist*. Which is hard to translate, but it is someone who [ab)uses the courts to get their way. They tend to be paranoid individuals who believe that everyone is against them and try appealing judgements to the highest levels possible etc etc. I am sure you have that type of individual in the states too.
Well, until you begin to learn to love people “like that”, by understanding that they are just using a poor defense mechanism to try to protect themselves, you will continue to project your own insecurities and hatreds onto others. Only when you learn to put aside that hatred and have compassion for them will you be able to accept those things in yourself. But that doesn’t mean to hang around NPDs. They are people too, who were badly injured and doing the best they can.
And it is also possible that you have a misdiagnosis. I too am a pompous ass and self centered, but that doesn’t make me a narcissist by a psych definition by a long stretch. I very easily empathize with others for example, a trait never shared by NPDs.
I do know classic narcissists who are in therapy, have been for years, know they have a problem, which they occassionally refer to, usually as putting their own interests first, or being self centered. I wouldn’t use the “n” word with these folks in refering to their problem for fear of severe emotional outburst.
Everything I have read on NPD suggests that it is simply not curable. Its symptoms can be allievated by therapy, but it isn’t going to go away. NPDs do tend to find some relief in 12 step programs, but some just use the 12 step system for sources of “narcissistic supply”, that is, attention.
I have read a long interview with a psychologist who claimed to have NPD himself. And while he was self centered, grandiose, etc. his awareness of his condition, readiness to admit it and general answers in a q and a period suggested that he in fact had genuine concern for other people, leading me to believe that he was fully functional. He was the only person I had ever come across in my literature review who outright admitted that he was a narcissist. He did agree that there was absolutely no cure.
Oh great. You just had to go and tell me that didn’t ya? Ok, just remember that you were warned… “I will point out all your errors for now and ever more.” fropm MacBeth by Longfellow and you can’t change that fact…
insecure and without ears
In my family, when I was growing up we always called it “male answer syndrome”.
Seems that my father, brother, and I suffered from it; my mom and sister were immune, remaining somehow able to refrain from providing an explanation about things they knew nothing about and from constantly giving everyone they know unsolicited advice.
My father always described himself as “occasionally wrong, but never in doubt.”
Superiority complex
wife?
How about a wife who acts like your father?
I tried searching on Google for:
“control freak” “personality disorder”
and got a lot of references, and a lot of them mentioned narcissism. Then I tried:
“personality disorder” definition list
and got a lot more. I’m too lazy to read them all, but they probably include what you were looking for.
Falwellism?
But if they did, they’d be right about it.
"I am not a psychologist or psychiatrist, but I have read quite a bit about narcissism and I have dealt with a number of people in highly stressful situations whose medical records I have reviewed to corroborate that they are indeed narcissists, so I know whereof I speak: a narcissist will not admit to being a narcissist, there is no cure for narcissism, the most that can be accomplished with a very smart narcissist (this won’t work on dumb ones) is to acquaint them with the definition and let them know that you won’t put up with that kind of behavior and be firm. "
Sorry to differ with your opinion, but I AM a psychologist; people with narcissism, at least those who enter therapy, often ARE aware of and concerned about it; and people who take therapy seriously CAN get better, even those with personality disorders, including narcissism.
Narcissism is a close as you will get to the textbook name of a “little Miss or Mr. Can’t Be Wrong” The medical texts do not label every personality annoyance.
Years ago I went to a psychologist about a problem I was having with the man in my life. She suggested I read about narcissism. I went to the library and tried to understand my problem.I thought I must be very bad off in that I could not recoginse myself in the descriptions of narcissits. The next week the Doc said to me with a smile, “Not you, him!” Duh
Ayn Rand Syndrome?
“Know-it-all”-ism?