# What is the oddest thing you've said to yourself today? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 17, 2009, 6:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704 "2009-08-17T06:13:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 11\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Serenata67](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/serenata67/32/10646_2.png) [@Serenata67](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Serenata67)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 2:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/21 "2009-08-21T02:53:26Z")
> [@Fearless\_Leader](#): > > “There are people dressed as Vikings playing cornhole outside my building”. > There were. That is an amazing image… can’t help but laugh at that! ---
**Author:** ![Jamicat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/c67d28/32.png) [@Jamicat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jamicat)\ **Post date:** [August 21, 2009, 7:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/22 "2009-08-21T07:02:18Z")
> [@MonkeyMensch](#): > > At the worst I could always live in the back of my truck. My daily affirmation… My hindsight says,“I shoulda’ bought the fucking extended econo van”. :rolleyes: ---
**Author:** ![Squeaker\_Snow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Squeaker\_Snow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squeaker_Snow)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/23 "2009-08-22T22:40:52Z")
“If you don’t get your crabby-ass out of this bed and curl your God damned hair, then I’m gonna do it for you!” Yes, I said that outloud to myself and my husband overheard. (I thought he was in the basement.) He nearly wet his pants laughing. I’m quitting my job and going into business as a motivational speaker. It worked. I got out of bed and my hair has been nice and shiny and curly all day! ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3ec8ea/32.png) [@salinqmind](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2009, 10:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/24 "2009-08-22T22:48:39Z")
I was telling my daughter about that lady who was a news anchor some years ago, who had deformed ‘lobster hands’, and she had artificial hand covers made to wear on TV. But then she decided they were too lifeless and distracting, so she decided to do the news with her real hands. I said, “this woman said, the hell with it, I’m showing my creepy lobster hands on TV”. My daughter said, “mom, in the history of human speech, has that combination of words ever been spoken aloud before?” ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 1:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/25 "2009-08-23T01:02:34Z")
On my walk today, I found several crumpled-up greenbacks lying on the ground. As I bent down to pick them up, I said to myself, “Hey, that’s three dollars off my next purchase!” ---
**Author:** ![Saintly\_Loser](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/saintly_loser/32/4045_2.png) [@Saintly\_Loser](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saintly_Loser)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/26 "2009-08-23T01:17:42Z")
I was crossing the street and a car nearly hit me. A taxicab, of course. And I heard myself saying, hey, it wouldn’t realy be so bad. Either you’d be dead, or you’d get a few days in the hospital out of it. I’m not really suicidal. And that spoken thought really surprised the hell out of me. Things are a bit tough right now (wife lost her job, mortgage, health problems not covered by insurance). I think I was just venting a bit. ---
**Author:** ![Tikki](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/5daacb/32.png) [@Tikki](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tikki)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 4:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/27 "2009-08-23T16:13:16Z")
“Hey, you don’t lick your privates and then lick my toes. It’s unheard of!” OK, I said it to the dog but since no one is around and he doesn’t understand, I might as well have said it to myself. ---
**Author:** ![Love\_Rhombus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/love_rhombus/32/10694_2.png) [@Love\_Rhombus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Love_Rhombus)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/28 "2009-08-23T21:03:29Z")
> [@Tikki](#): > > “Hey, you don’t lick your privates and then lick my toes. It’s unheard of!” > > OK, I said it to the dog but since no one is around and he doesn’t understand, I might as well have said it to myself. In the same vein I loudly accused my dog of being a “pupulist” because she seems to get along with every dog she meets. Infortunately I then bent down to tell her so more closely and ended up saying "You’re a pumiphfis!"since she then chose to poke her tongue up my nose, curly-style. ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/29 "2009-08-23T21:06:31Z")
My 3.5 year old was looking for her pretend cell phone, she asked me to help her look and I started to say “Why don’t you call it?” ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 9:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/30 "2009-08-23T21:09:45Z")
> [@TruCelt](#): > > “Maybe it would be cheaper to just charter a plane?” > > Trying to solve a really tough logistical problem at work. Never thought I’d say “cheap” and “charter” together. > > And if internal counts: “What the #e!! did that fox just say?” In Mary Poppins, when they are riding the Carousel horses and interrupt the fox hunt, the fox yells something at the chasing dogs. I can never catch it, despite having this movie playing at least once a day in my house for the last two weeks. "View halloo? Faith and begora, 'tis them redcoats again! " ---
**Author:** ![Joey\_P](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/919ad9/32.png) [@Joey\_P](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joey_P)\ **Post date:** [August 23, 2009, 9:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704/31 "2009-08-23T21:11:44Z")
Googling “Faith and begora” comes up with an odd link for an “Amish Porn” (totally SFW) site. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-oddest-thing-youve-said-to-yourself-today/506704.md?page=1)