# What is the opening sentence of the book you would like to be writing right now ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2017, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434 "2017-11-01T20:56:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/1 "2017-11-01T20:56:21Z")
Porfirio Gluck awoke with a start, suddenly aware of and irritated by the knowledge that once again one of his bones had been replaced by titanium. " Decalcification of Porfirio Gluck ", by Cartooniverse Sent from my SM-N910V using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/qadgop_the_mercotan/32/83_2.png) [@Qadgop\_the\_Mercotan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Qadgop_the_Mercotan)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 9:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/2 "2017-11-01T21:37:09Z")
“I’ve been living and working in the belly of the belly of the beast for a few decades now.” From: “In the Belly of the Belly of the Beast”, by QtM ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/22080_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 10:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/3 "2017-11-01T22:27:19Z")
Brenda rummaged thru her fabric stash, looking for the perfect texture and color for the cat’s wedding gown. Crazy Cat Lady, by **FCM**. ---
**Author:** ![Ranchoth](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranchoth/32/1066_2.png) [@Ranchoth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranchoth)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/4 "2017-11-01T22:51:51Z")
_“Fire!”_ ---
**Author:** ![Jackmannii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jackmannii/32/311_2.png) [@Jackmannii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jackmannii)\ **Post date:** [November 1, 2017, 10:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/5 "2017-11-01T22:59:01Z")
“If sending me a money order for $500 could guarantee you long life, great health and fantastic sex, wouldn’t you be a fool not to do it?” from **Jackmannii** ’s #1 Amazon bestseller, “Give Me Your Money”. ---
**Author:** ![Sattua](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sattua/32/11906_2.png) [@Sattua](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sattua)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 1:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/6 "2017-11-02T01:41:01Z")
“One day your life stops being yours” is the first sentence of the book I _am_ writing. Sounds awfully camp, but it sums up the whole story, too, so maybe I’ll keep it. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/7 "2017-11-02T02:02:09Z")
“At least Jack was home when the strange email arrived, so I had someone to talk to about it.” - First line of “Teacher’s Debt,” the award-winning mystery novel by first-time writer CairoCarol. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/8 "2017-11-02T02:24:02Z")
“Gladys Smegnoff gazed out her sitting room window and did a double-take that under different circumstances would have been comical, as her unkempt neighbor sidled past, fingers of his right hand plaited through the matted, bloody hair on his wife’s head – but was no longer attached to her body.” - First line of ‘Time to Move.’ (I’m going for Bulwer-Lytton fame.) ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/9 "2017-11-02T02:24:26Z")
“I never thought becoming the worlds richest and happiest man would come so suddenly and so easily” _The utterly true story of the amazing events of November 2017_ by wolfman. ---
**Author:** ![El\_Kabong](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/el_kabong/32/496_2.png) [@El\_Kabong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Kabong)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/10 "2017-11-02T13:05:58Z")
I actually did something a bit like this for an automotive blog, a couple years ago: [Ford Noir](http://www.curbsideclassic.com/curbside-fiction/curbside-fiction-ford-noir/) ---
**Author:** ![JoseB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/joseb/32/1530_2.png) [@JoseB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JoseB)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/11 "2017-11-02T13:24:07Z")
"Sunrise. What a commonplace thing, unremarked by almost everybody. Little did mankind know that it would be the last." _Sic Transit Gloria Mundi_, by **JoseB** ---
**Author:** ![Hari\_Seldon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hari_seldon/32/5173_2.png) [@Hari\_Seldon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hari_Seldon)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/12 "2017-11-02T13:45:58Z")
I’m not planning on writing any more books, so here is the first sentence of the last one I wrote: “The conceptual basis for the acyclic models theorem that is the main topic of this book is the notion of category.” Here is the first line of a book I am hoping Sharon Shinn would write: “Celia, the Hunti prime designate, had just turned 18, and Darien and Zoe were thinking about a suitable marriage for her, but she had other ideas.” ---
**Author:** ![gnoitall](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/bb73d2/32.png) [@gnoitall](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gnoitall)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 2:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/13 "2017-11-02T14:28:56Z")
“I wish someone had warned me that a human body could contain so much blood.” ---
**Author:** ![racer72](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/racer72/32/3075_2.png) [@racer72](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/racer72)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 2:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/14 "2017-11-02T14:57:55Z")
It was a dark and stormy night for the 1,298th night in a row. ---
**Author:** ![Mavic\_Chen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e56c9b/32.png) [@Mavic\_Chen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mavic_Chen)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 3:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/15 "2017-11-02T15:55:56Z")
“Well professor, how is the thing?” “I’m glad you asked. It’s dead.” ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 4:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/16 "2017-11-02T16:35:08Z")
Sidney soon tired of watching the turtles flying by as he fell through the endless void. ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/17 "2017-11-02T16:58:28Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > (I’m going for Bulwer-Lytton fame.) That reminds me that I a few years ago I entered the BL contest, with this sentence: _A giant of a man, Albert was emotionally outsized as well, for just as his fingers extending from his palm could tenderly caress even an unusually large, wriggly kitten, so could the lines of love extending from his heart like aortas wrap themselves around and give a comforting hug to even an acting-out and off-putting child._ ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 5:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/18 "2017-11-02T17:01:45Z")
“Being sexually attractive has disadvantages as well as advantages.” - _A Beginner’s Guide to the Bears of North America_ Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![rjk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/ed655f/32.png) [@rjk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rjk)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/19 "2017-11-02T17:45:42Z")
“I knew she was dead even before I walked down the alley for a closer look.” -Teenage Hookers Deserve Better, by rjk ---
**Author:** ![Icarus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/icarus/32/72_2.png) [@Icarus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Icarus)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/20 "2017-11-02T18:21:13Z")
“I grew like a weed, untended.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434.md?page=2)