# What is the opening sentence of the book you would like to be writing right now ? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 1, 2017, 8:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434 "2017-11-01T20:56:21Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 12\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Delicious](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/dbc845/32.png) [@Delicious](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Delicious)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 7:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/21 "2017-11-02T19:04:50Z")
‘A’ is for Apple ‘Mystery Murder Sexplosion’ - Delicious ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [November 2, 2017, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/22 "2017-11-02T19:43:33Z")
“Oh, they don’t actually have feelings, honey”, my mom said as she pithed the fish on the counter and it flopped and squirmed and squirted grey fluid on my aghast body. ---
**Author:** ![wolfpup](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wolfpup/32/10618_2.png) [@wolfpup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfpup)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2017, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/23 "2017-11-03T02:50:17Z")
“The day began like any other in the summer countryside, the hills still touched with dew under clear blue skies. A gentle breeze stirred the sunlit curtains.” _Invasion of the Zombie Aliens from Klendathu IV_, by wolfpup. ---
**Author:** ![mixdenny](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mixdenny/32/2962_2.png) [@mixdenny](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mixdenny)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2017, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/24 "2017-11-03T03:38:10Z")
When the violent motion stopped, I was in the back seat and we were upside down, underwater, under the ice. And it’s a true story. Dennis ---
**Author:** ![TimeWinder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bcef8e/32.png) [@TimeWinder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TimeWinder)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2017, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/25 "2017-11-03T03:40:52Z")
There were fewer people in the park now, so I unbuttoned my shirt and became invisible. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2017, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/26 "2017-11-03T03:41:50Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > That reminds me that I a few years ago I entered the BL contest, with this sentence: > > _A giant of a man, Albert was emotionally outsized as well, for just as his fingers extending from his palm could tenderly caress even an unusually large, wriggly kitten, so could the lines of love extending from his heart like aortas wrap themselves around and give a comforting hug to even an acting-out and off-putting child._ You should have won, or at least gotten a dishonorable mention! That’s delightful. 🙂 Which category? ---
**Author:** ![CairoCarol](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cairocarol/32/3825_2.png) [@CairoCarol](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CairoCarol)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2017, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/27 "2017-11-03T03:51:03Z")
> [@Aspenglow](#): > > You should have won, or at least gotten a dishonorable mention! That’s delightful. 🙂 Which category? I don’t remember! And there’s a lot of competition, so I wasn’t disappointed when I didn’t place. But I like my entry, if I do say so myself. I should enter again, but I am not sure I could top the awfulness of my first try. ---
**Author:** ![Aspenglow](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aspenglow/32/76_2.png) [@Aspenglow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aspenglow)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2017, 3:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/28 "2017-11-03T03:58:53Z")
> [@CairoCarol](#): > > I don’t remember! And there’s a lot of competition, so I wasn’t disappointed when I didn’t place. But I like my entry, if I do say so myself. I should enter again, but I am not sure I could top the awfulness of my first try. LOL, I’ll bet you could. And I mean that in a good way! It takes real talent to write a bad Bulwer-Lytton! ---
**Author:** ![Duckster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/duckster/32/1244_2.png) [@Duckster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Duckster)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2017, 5:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/29 "2017-11-03T05:37:46Z")
“I am the god of hellfire! And I bring you …” _The Outside Inside Dope of Wildland Fire Fighting_, by **Duckster**. ---
**Author:** ![MrDibble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/mrdibble/32/114_2.png) [@MrDibble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MrDibble)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2017, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/30 "2017-11-03T06:57:14Z")
“As he lay broken at the bottom of the ravine, the dying bandit alternated between loudly cursing our ancestors and softly crying for his mother.” “The Lakelands” a fantasy novel by **MrDibble** ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2017, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/31 "2017-11-03T09:15:35Z")
“The land was once farmland, rich and nourished by nature.” _Sasquatch Road_, by **Spoons**. As an aside, I seem to recall we have at least one Bulwer-Lytton winner here on the SDMB, and a few honorable mentions as well. ---
**Author:** ![GuanoLad](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guanolad/32/42_2.png) [@GuanoLad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GuanoLad)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2017, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434/32 "2017-11-03T09:33:20Z")
“There’s only one way to catch a dragon, thought Murphy Mason, and that’s by becoming its friend.” _The Dragon’s Deal_, by **GL** [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-opening-sentence-of-the-book-you-would-like-to-be-writing-right-now/800434.md?page=1)