# What is the "penis ensues" joke?

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897>\
**Category:** About This Message Board\
**Created:** [July 24, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897 "2005-07-24T04:00:46Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 9\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897/1 "2005-07-24T04:00:46Z")

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I just heard this recently on SDMB–can anyone explain? Thanks!

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**Author:** ![DMC](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dmc/32/18049_2.png) [@DMC](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMC)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897/2 "2005-07-24T04:14:54Z")

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[Here](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?p=5674741) is where it all began.

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**Author:** ![HPL](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/3da27b/32.png) [@HPL](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/HPL)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897/3 "2005-07-24T05:45:18Z")

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Is that like a “Penis Mighter”? Because if you’ve got them and they work, I’ll buy 10! 🙂

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**Author:** ![scr4](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/59ef9b/32.png) [@scr4](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scr4)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 6:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897/4 "2005-07-24T06:09:00Z")

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> [@HPL](#):
>
> Is that like a “Penis Mighter”? Because if you’ve got them and they work, I’ll buy 10! 🙂

Why do you need 10? :eek:

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**Author:** ![xash](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/c6cbf5/32.png) [@xash](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xash)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897/5 "2005-07-24T07:03:50Z")

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Moved to ATMB.

- **xash**  
General Questions Moderator

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**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897/6 "2005-07-24T18:11:04Z")

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> [@scr4](#):
>
> Why do you need 10? :eek:

Christmas presents?

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**Author:** ![Sutremaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@Sutremaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sutremaine)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 6:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897/7 "2005-07-24T18:37:36Z")

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OOP. :eek: The SDMB is truly _the_ place to go to for everything you never knew you never wanted to know about all the revolting substances that the human body is capable of producing.

Okay, I’m done shitting on the thread now. You can have it back.

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**Author:** ![Billdo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/billdo/32/315_2.png) [@Billdo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Billdo)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897/8 "2005-07-24T21:53:22Z")

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Since this question has come up several times, I wonder if it would be worth adding to the [Beginner’s Guide to Glossary of Terms on Straight Dope Message Boards](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?t=320298)? I would propose:

**Penis ensues** – originally a typo for “panic ensues.” Now used as shorthand for the expected consequences of an unexpected or unusual event.

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**Author:** ![Aeschines](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aeschines/32/16251_2.png) [@Aeschines](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Aeschines)\
**Post date:** [July 24, 2005, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-penis-ensues-joke/313897/9 "2005-07-24T22:09:15Z")

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Hey, even people who’ve been here awhile can miss these things!