# What is the polite way to ask for oral sex? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [June 3, 2002, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240 "2002-06-03T21:42:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Jman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jman/32/4416_2.png) [@Jman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jman)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 6:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/41 "2002-06-04T18:23:50Z")
I’ve got an interesting dilemma right now…the girl I’m seeing has no problem going down there for me (but just for foreplay, which is fine), but she doesn’t like me down on her, which disappoints me, since it’s one of my strengths. ☹ BTW, it’s been all body language for us…and I don’t need to ask her. Jman ---
**Author:** ![Maeglin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/8baadc/32.png) [@Maeglin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Maeglin)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/42 "2002-06-04T18:30:03Z")
> [@](#): > > Taht settles it. I’m going to start dating lesbians. I hear the bar Meow Mix is a real good time . . . It is…if you have a female escort. And if you manage to get a friend willing to go with you, well, drop me an email, eh? 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 6:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/43 "2002-06-04T18:43:08Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bernse \* > \*\*Most. Overrated. Position. EVER. > > I’m not accusing you of anything, **capybara** , but I think that most people that recomend it have never tried it. > > It sucks. > And not in the good way. \*\* I disagree completely. ---
**Author:** ![Homebrew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/c89c15/32.png) [@Homebrew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Homebrew)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/44 "2002-06-04T18:47:50Z")
I once had a guy ask me if I would like for him to suck my dick - while we were naked on my bed. I was stunned that he would even bother to ask. Does a bear shit in the woods? Hell yes, I’d like that. In fact, I was pretty much counting on it. ---
**Author:** ![Sengkelat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@Sengkelat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sengkelat)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/45 "2002-06-04T19:37:08Z")
“I bet you five bucks you can’t deep throat me.” Or you could describe in explicit detail how great all your past girlfriends were at giving head. With luck your GF will insist on showing you that she’s better than they were. Or you could draw lips on your hand with a magic marker and explain that that way you’re getting oral sex when you masturbate. Maybe she’ll take a hint. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by bernse \* > \*\*Most. Overrated. Position. EVER. > > …I think that most people that recomend it have never tried it.\*\* I recommend it, and I have indeed tried it, if by “tried” one means “done it as often as possible and with great enthusiasm.” I admit, I always feel a little awkward on top (one slip and she’ll be gaggig) but being on the bottom…there’s not much better. ---
**Author:** ![Cap\_n\_Crude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Cap\_n\_Crude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cap_n_Crude)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/46 "2002-06-04T19:39:00Z")
Try this: [Sean Connery] Suck it, Trebek. Suck it long, and suck it hard.[/Sean Connery] Here’s one you can try also, though it’s a bit manipulative. If you’re willing to claim that you’re a bit quick on the trigger, and that you can make intercourse last a lot longer if she’ll get you off first, it might get you an enthusiastic hummer. Of course, you have to offer to reciprocate once she’s done. Still, honesty is the best policy. Just ask, “Sweetie, would you like to go down on me? I love the way you use your mouth when we kiss.” Feel free to submit the phrase of your choice for going down. And I agree with **Geobabe** ’s disagreement. It can be quite an entertaining position, that good ol’ 69. Then again, Geo’s such a darling (and such a hottie) that she could make getting run over by a riding mower seem like an erotic adventure. ---
**Author:** ![Eva\_Luna](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/e495f1/32.png) [@Eva\_Luna](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eva_Luna)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/47 "2002-06-04T19:56:29Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SHAKES \* > \*\*Grab a scruff of her hair and guide her down there like a tame horse. She’ll get the picture. > > Or you could ask her if she would like a good face fucking. \*\* No way in hell! Any guy who grabbed my hair/head/neck and tried to direct it in the vicinity of his crotch, without previous discussion, would NOT be getting lucky that night, and would probably not get lucky with me ever again. That’s what happens to those of us who have been coerced into such activities in the past; we have baggage and need to be treated gently, at least at first. Any kind of grabbing or pushing maneuver, IMHO, would be a big no-no, especially in the early stages of a relationship when you don’t know all of her likes and dislikes. ---
**Author:** ![Geobabe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/geobabe/32/3908_2.png) [@Geobabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Geobabe)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 8:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/48 "2002-06-04T20:05:52Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cap’n Crude \* > \*\*Then again, Geo’s such a darling (and such a hottie) that she could make getting run over by a riding mower seem like an erotic adventure. \*\* I do believe that’s the most interesting compliment I’ve received lately. I’m gonna have to write that one down. And let me add a serious second to the caution against pushing a woman’s face toward your crotch. I think (hope) that the suggestion was offered in jest, but let me assure all of you who might be tempted to try it that it’s been tried and been thoroughly unsuccessful with me, at least. I haven’t been traumatized sexually, but I find that maneuver to be tacky, offensive and likely to result in not getting any head ever. And I like giving head. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/49 "2002-06-04T20:16:49Z")
Generally speaking, if my date acted like a 3 day old sparrow straining from the nest toward the worm, I was more than willing to oblige. ---
**Author:** ![Khadaji](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/9e8a1a/32.png) [@Khadaji](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Khadaji)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/50 "2002-06-04T22:49:43Z")
Warning: Politically incorrect joke ahead… Please Father, do it to me like you did for Tommy last week in the confessional. ---
**Author:** ![iampunha](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/74df32/32.png) [@iampunha](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/iampunha)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2002, 11:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/51 "2002-06-04T23:44:02Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Cap’n Crude \* > Then again, Geo’s such a darling (and such a hottie) that she could make getting run over by a riding mower seem like an erotic adventure. Ah, the stuff sigs are made of… ---
**Author:** ![The\_Mermaid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a183cd/32.png) [@The\_Mermaid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Mermaid)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 1:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/52 "2002-06-05T01:22:32Z")
I don’t care much for [69](http://store3.yimg.com/I/sexualpositions_1686_1155205) It can be a little awkward and to be honest I prefer to have attention lavished upon my person while [reclined and enjoying myself](http://store3.yimg.com/I/sexualpositions_1686_3739496) ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 2:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/53 "2002-06-05T02:12:51Z")
Here’s some lines you’ll want to avoid: “I am the cockmaster. Worship me.” “I’ll do it for you … someday.” “C’mon, it’s not like you haven’t done it with all your other dates.” “Now it’s time to say hello to Little Elvis.” “How about if I throw in five dollars?” “Please, please, please, please, please, please, please.” “Shit, bitch, I bought you dinner, didn’t I?” “Let’s play a game of President and Intern.” “Nothing personal. I’m just not sure yet if I like you enough to have intercourse with you.” ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 2:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/54 "2002-06-05T02:14:03Z")
I came up with a GREAT line that is absolutely **GUARANTEED** to get you slapped: “Hey bitch, my dick doesn’t suck itself!” 😃 ---
**Author:** ![handy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/b5a626/32.png) [@handy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/handy)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2002, 2:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/55 "2002-06-05T02:36:43Z")
I asked a lady for oral sex once, I asked her to talk dirty to me & she said that I can’t hear her so she signed dirty instead. Is that still oral sex? ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Lao](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/2bfe46/32.png) [@Dr.Lao](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Lao)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/56 "2002-06-12T17:46:17Z")
I found one that worked on me recently. She said, “It would be really great if you went down on me.” It worked like an absolute champ. Not a moment’s hesitation on my part. So, you could always try that. ---
**Author:** ![whiterabbit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/cab0a1/32.png) [@whiterabbit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/whiterabbit)\ **Post date:** [June 12, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/57 "2002-06-12T21:38:19Z")
My SO asked me the first time, and while I don’t remember exactly HOW he asked, his…ah…enthusiasm once things got going quickly convinced me that this is, as far as he is concerned, a VERY GOOD THING. He hasn’t had to actually ask again. As for the other way around, “Would you go down on me?” works just fine. ---
**Author:** ![Tristan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tristan/32/18058_2.png) [@Tristan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tristan)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 9:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/58 "2002-06-13T09:45:27Z")
I’ve always been partial to the “If you’ll do it, the ropes will be off that much sooner.” But my lawyer says I shouldn’t talk about it. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 1:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/59 "2002-06-13T13:21:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dalovindj \* > \*\*“Please” was in the OP. Read it again. Still, somehow, saying please in bed seems a bit wierd. And which fork are you supposed to use? Manners and bedroom passion. I’m not sure they go together. \*\* **IMPORTANT SAFETY TIP: Oral sex and forks do not mix. Ever.** Now _spatulas_, on the other hand… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Persephone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/ecc23a/32.png) [@Persephone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Persephone)\ **Post date:** [June 13, 2002, 2:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240/60 "2002-06-13T14:40:18Z")
I’m all for just being polite about it. Saying “please” isn’t a bad thing, especially when you’re in the early stages of the relationship. Say “please” now, then she’ll remember that you like it. And next time you won’t have to ask. 🙂 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-polite-way-to-ask-for-oral-sex/112240.md?page=4)