# What is the proper salutation.......

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-proper-salutation/56622>\
**Category:** Factual Questions\
**Created:** [March 3, 2001, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-proper-salutation/56622 "2001-03-03T10:38:20Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 4\
**Page:** 1

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**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\
**Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 10:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-proper-salutation/56622/1 "2001-03-03T10:38:20Z")

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…for a woman who only gives her first name when she answers her office phone and then requests a fax addressed to her?  
I know it’s a privacy issue for some women who do not want to give their last name for fear of being stalked, but  
in raising funds for my theatre group I was asked to do just that.  
I am wondering if in the fax (with formal letter) I should address her with just her first name?  
A friend suggests using Ms. in front of the first name, but I think that sounds like a child addressing his kindergarten teacher. What do y’all think? Maybe the business name and then just “ATTN: Holly” ?

Thanks  
Q

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**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\
**Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 10:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-proper-salutation/56622/2 "2001-03-03T10:55:13Z")

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Why didn’t you ask her? If she works at a business and requested a fax sent to her, I’m sure she’d be willing to give her last name. When I answer the phone, I usually don’t give my last name either, but it’s not fear of being stalked, it’s just too formal for me.

Otherwise, I would simply write “ATTN:Holly, Sales Representative” or whatever her title is.

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**Author:** ![blur](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/dbc845/32.png) [@blur](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blur)\
**Post date:** [March 3, 2001, 11:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-proper-salutation/56622/3 "2001-03-03T11:25:32Z")

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What I have done in situations like that  
are ask the person if they will get the  
fax with just a first name or if they would  
mind giving the last name to ensure they  
get the fax.  
They will tell you how they want it  
addressed. That way you can avoid seeming  
like you are prying, but get the information  
you need to ensure the fax gets to the  
right person.

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**Author:** ![Kat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b19c9b/32.png) [@Kat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kat)\
**Post date:** [March 4, 2001, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-proper-salutation/56622/4 "2001-03-04T00:40:49Z")

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Heh. I never give my last name when I request a fax to me, unless the person insists on it. Mainly because I have to spell it at least 3 times for them to get it right (and that’s after I’ve spelled my first name for them twice). I’m the only me in my department, so I just have them mark it Attn: [Kat’s real name], [Kat’s Dept].

When I have to fax to someone who’s just given me their first name, I ask if I need to put their last name and/or department/title for it to reach them, and then address it accordingly.