# What is the single greatest line in television history? {Please include context & Episode of the Series} **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 7, 2026, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892 "2026-05-07T16:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![PatrickLondon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/patricklondon/32/4422_2.png) [@PatrickLondon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PatrickLondon)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2026, 8:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/204 "2026-05-09T08:20:19Z")
“Just the one, dear?” (AbFab S1 Ep2 “Fat”- Eddie’s mother on Eddie trotting out the old idea that “inside me is a thin person trying to get out”) ---
**Author:** ![Knowed\_Out](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/knowed_out/32/7380_2.png) [@Knowed\_Out](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Knowed_Out)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2026, 9:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/205 "2026-05-09T09:54:41Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > There was an old sitcom with Matt Frewer called “Doctor Doctor” that ran for a couple of years. One line that has always stuck with me was when someone accidentally spilled a cup of coffee in his lap and he said “Boy, I hope that was decaf or I’m going to be up all night!” I remember one scene of Frewer’s character asking a couple of other people if they were talking about him. He then strained his voice to a coarse grunt and said “I’m not paranoid. What did you say?” ---
**Author:** ![dirtball](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dirtball/32/18772_2.png) [@dirtball](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dirtball)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2026, 10:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/206 "2026-05-09T10:54:30Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > From **Bojack Horseman** , when the woman he’s dating (who recently woke up after being in a coma for something like 20 years) finally realizes that she needs to break up with him. > > “When you’re wearing rose-colored lenses, all those red flags just look like flags.” That reminds me of my favorite BoJack line: “Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go take a shower so I can’t tell if I’m crying or not.” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2026, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/207 "2026-05-09T21:32:26Z")
The big reveal on the final episode of _Newhart._ **Bob Hartley:** Well, I was an innkeeper in this crazy little town in Vermont. Nothing made sense in this place. I mean, the maid was an heiress. Her husband talked in alliteration. The handyman kept missing the point of things. And then there were these three woodsmen, but only one of them talked. **Emily Hartley:** That settles it, no more Japanese food before you go to bed. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2026, 9:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/208 "2026-05-09T21:49:46Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > (Though I’d nominate “I got a fever! And the only prescription…is more cowbell!”) Christopher Walken is master of the memorable line-reading. In an episode from early 2000 (accounts differ–number may be 26/20), he is interacting with “The Love-uhs” (from a recurring sketch in which Will Farrell and Rachel Dratch play ultra-pretentious counter-culture types). There’s a lot of pretentious posing from the pair, and Walken’s companion walks out. His line: > [@](#): > > My lover has a fiery soul. I’d best chase her. For she is … my ride. (It’s his delivery that’s so funny.) ---
**Author:** ![Larsedik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larsedik/32/19832_2.png) [@Larsedik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larsedik)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2026, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/209 "2026-05-09T22:39:15Z")
“The only reason I went to that orgy was that it was a benefit for charity.” - Nina Van Horn from “Just Shoot Me”. ---
**Author:** ![Sooner](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sooner/32/7875_2.png) [@Sooner](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sooner)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2026, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/210 "2026-05-09T23:04:29Z")
Exactly my first thought ---
**Author:** ![dtilque](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d6d6ee/32.png) [@dtilque](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dtilque)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 5:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/211 "2026-05-10T05:27:10Z")
“Get a life” – William Shatner to Trekkies in an SNL skit. ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Burden](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/958977/32.png) [@Jack\_Burden](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Burden)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 6:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/212 "2026-05-10T06:02:32Z")
“Get a life” – William Shatner to Trekkies in an SNL skit. “Have you ever.. kissed a girl?” ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 7:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/213 "2026-05-10T07:26:37Z")
“Get out of your parents’ basements!” ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 7:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/214 "2026-05-10T07:48:45Z")
> [@dirtball](#): > > my favorite BoJack line “I wanna be an architect.” ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 8:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/215 "2026-05-10T08:35:16Z")
“People underestimate Bob at their peril.” _Justified_, Season 4. For some context: Bob, an overexcited rent-a-cop, is played by Patton Oswalt and is about as intimidating as, well, Patton Oswalt. Everybody on the show spends the entire season underestimating him - until he’s captured by a very nasty bad guy and is brutally tortured, yet not only refuses to fold and give him the information he wants, but instead turns the tables and kills his captor. He then joins up with Raylan, the hero, for his standoff against a much larger group of gangsters. The head gangster looks at little Bob, battered and bloody yet determined, and asks how _this_ guy could kill his top henchman, at which point Raylan, in complete seriousness, says the quoted line. And then the gangsters back off. ---
**Author:** ![Larsedik](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/larsedik/32/19832_2.png) [@Larsedik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Larsedik)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/216 "2026-05-10T11:55:10Z")
There are many great lines from Monty Python! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/217 "2026-05-10T16:19:22Z")
> [@Jack\_Burden](#): > > “Have you ever.. kissed a girl?” From the _ **TOS** _ episode “A Private Little War”: **Nona:** There is a tradition among my people. When a woman saves a man’s life, he is _grateful_. **Kirk:** I am … grateful. Delivered like only Shatner can! 😁 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 4:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/218 "2026-05-10T16:27:02Z")
> [@Larsedik](#): > > There are many great lines from Monty Python! Oh, shut up and go and change your armour. 😠 (Directed toward Sir Robin. 😉 ) ---
**Author:** ![Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bosda_di_chi_of_tricor/32/16845_2.png) [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bosda_Di_Chi_of_Tricor)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 4:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/219 "2026-05-10T16:36:14Z")
This. My very first notion. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 4:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/220 "2026-05-10T16:49:12Z")
From _ **F Troop** _: **Sgt O’Rourke:** Agarn, I don’t know why everybody says you’re so dumb! **Cpl Agarn:** (_Hours_ _later_) Who says I’m dumb? 🤨 ---
**Author:** ![Mallard](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b9bd4f/32.png) [@Mallard](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mallard)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 6:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/221 "2026-05-10T18:06:03Z")
“Shut-up-yoose” - Archie Bunker from all in the family “no soup for you” (soup Nazi), “yadda, yadda, yadda”. and “not that there’s anything wrong with that” (when referring to gays) all from Seinfeld. ---
**Author:** ![Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/779978/32.png) [@Two\_Many\_Cats2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Two_Many_Cats2)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 6:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/222 "2026-05-10T18:28:26Z")
_Doctor Who_: “Face of Evil” from the classic series. The Doctor remarks off-handedly to Leela as they are dealing with Xoanon, a super computer that is screwing up Leela’s world, “You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don’t change the views to fit the facts. They change the facts to fit the views.” Words to live by, especially today. ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/223 "2026-05-10T18:47:17Z")
The [full quote](https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0811885/characters/nm0048982/) is even better (and more relevant to the present), I think: > You know, the very powerful and the very stupid have one thing in common. They don’t alter their views to fit the facts, they alter the facts to fit the views, which can be uncomfortable if you happen to be one of the facts that needs altering. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=10) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=12)