# What is the single greatest line in television history? {Please include context & Episode of the Series} **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 7, 2026, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892 "2026-05-07T16:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 12
**Author:** ![fiddlesticks](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fiddlesticks/32/18129_2.png) [@fiddlesticks](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fiddlesticks)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/224 "2026-05-10T21:58:55Z")
Lots of great lines from _Justified_ but my favorite is: “You run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. You run into assholes all day, you’re the asshole.” --Raylan Givens - S4E1 Perfect distillation of the character and life in general. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 10:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/225 "2026-05-10T22:35:39Z")
> [@fiddlesticks](#): > > Lots of great lines from _Justified_ but my favorite is: _Justified_ has the best dialogue of any show I’ve ever seen. I’m not saying it’s the best show (although it’s one of my favorites), or that it has the best writing and characterization (although they are excellent) - I’m saying that word for word, its dialogue is simply unparalleled. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/226 "2026-05-10T22:40:50Z")
“_Her?_” Often-repeated line in “Arrested Development”. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/227 "2026-05-10T23:25:04Z")
> [@Larsedik](#): > > There are many great lines from Monty Python! From “The Dirty Vicar Sketch”: “Cooor, wot a luvley bit o’stuff!” and “I like _tits_!” ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2026, 11:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/228 "2026-05-10T23:27:16Z")
“I’ve got a plan so cunning you could put a tail on it and call it a weasel.” — Blackadder Or [Blackadder](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0000100/?ref_=ttqu_qu): Baldrick, I have a very, very, very cunning plan.[Baldrick](https://www.imdb.com/name/nm0733153/?ref_=ttqu_qu): Is it as cunning as a fox what used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but has moved on and is now working for the U.N. at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning? ---
**Author:** ![stopnonstop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5f9b8f/32.png) [@stopnonstop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stopnonstop)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/229 "2026-05-11T02:51:37Z")
My wife and I occasionally quote these lines - she doing a perfect Comic Book Guy in a Korean accent. Skinner’s mother: Sunsets. Thank god there is only one of these a day. Comic Book Guy: Could it be any more orange. ---
**Author:** ![Zakalwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zakalwe/32/270_2.png) [@Zakalwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zakalwe)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 3:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/230 "2026-05-11T03:06:32Z")
From _Friends_ in the episode where the guys and girls have a bet to switch apartments: Ross: What is Chandler Bing’s Job? Rachel: Oooh. Oh gosh. It has something to do with numbers… Monica: It has something to do with transponding… Rachel: Oh! Oh! He’s a transponster! Monica: That’s not even a word! My wife and I use Monica’s last line a LOT. ---
**Author:** ![Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marvin_the_martian/32/2898_2.png) [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvin_the_Martian)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 4:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/231 "2026-05-11T04:43:48Z")
> if life were fair, there wouldn’t be rich people. Jimmy James to Beth in season 3, episode 9 of “News Radio”. ---
**Author:** ![pjd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pjd/32/3009_2.png) [@pjd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pjd)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 11:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/232 "2026-05-11T11:29:40Z")
Kenny from Frasier :- “I don’t want to get involved in some get-rich-quick scheme, but I do need to make a lot of money really fast” ---
**Author:** ![TRC4941](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/trc4941/32/6792_2.png) [@TRC4941](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TRC4941)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/233 "2026-05-11T14:16:03Z")
I haven’t read all of these so not sure if it has already been mentioned. The episode of Seinfeld where they’re staying at a friend’s home on the coast. George goes swimming in the cold water and is concerned that his new girlfriend saw him naked after the cold water caused shrinkage. The guys ask Elaine if women know about shrinkage, and she says, - “It shrinks?! Why does it shrink? I don’t know how you guys walk around with those things.” ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/234 "2026-05-11T16:45:02Z")
Another from the oft-maligned **Friends**. Monica is fed up with the gang’s comments about her choice of romantic partners and calls them out, one by one. “Fine but. . .married a lesbian…left a guy standing at the altar.. fell in love with a gay ice dancer… threw a girl’s wooden leg in a fire…lives in a box!” ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/235 "2026-05-11T16:50:17Z")
Two that I often think of from _The Good Place_. One just because it applies in so many situations: [![](https://media1.tenor.com/m/r-tGcVVeSb0AAAAd/good-place.gif) ](https://media1.tenor.com/m/r-tGcVVeSb0AAAAd/good-place.gif) And one just because it goes somewhere unexpected: [![](https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/molotov-cocktail-good-place.gif) ](https://www.syfy.com/sites/syfy/files/molotov-cocktail-good-place.gif) ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/236 "2026-05-11T17:22:58Z")
> [@Larsedik](#): > > “The only reason I went to that orgy was that it was a benefit for charity.” - Nina Van Horn from “Just Shoot Me”. Speaking of Nina Van Horn, there was an episode of JSM that was like an “A&E Biography” episode. Somewhere near the end they ask all the interviewees to describe Nina in one word. Don Henley (of The Eagles) says “[Something]… no, [something else]. Is there a word that means both? I’ll bet the Germans have one.” My problem is that I can never remember what the two words were, which is part of what makes it such a great quote. Somebody help me out here? ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/237 "2026-05-11T17:29:39Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > The Good Place Yeah I’d say for recent shows it’s between this and something from [Bojack Horseman](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/36) . Though of course “recent” is a relative term, I was going to say “in the last five years” but it turns out somehow neither of these shows are from the last five years ☹ 👴 ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/238 "2026-05-11T17:34:51Z")
> [@Shoeless](#): > > My problem is that I can never remember what the two words were, which is part of what makes it such a great quote. Somebody help me out here? The internet is truly a repository of trivia… > [@](#): > > Destructive. > > No vibrant. > > Is there a word that > means both those things? > > I bet the German have one. > **[Just Shoot Me!: Season 4, Episode 23 script | Subs like Script](https://subslikescript.com/series/Just_Shoot_Me-118364/season-4/episode-23-AE_Biography_Nina_Van_Horn)** > > Transcript for Tv Show Just Shoot Me! - Season 4 Episode 23 - A&E Biography: Nina Van Horn ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/239 "2026-05-11T18:17:15Z")
I’m watching the _ **Columbo** _ episode “Identity Crisis.” A roving photographer at an amusement park has just snapped a shot of CIA operative Patrick McGoohan and told him he can pick it up whenever he wants. **McGoohan:** I can stop by any time? **Photographer:** Any time. **McGoohan:** Well. In that case, I’ll be seeing you. (Do I really need to explain why this one is funny? 🤨 ) ---
**Author:** ![Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr.winston_oboogie/32/2945_2.png) [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr.Winston_OBoogie)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/240 "2026-05-11T18:30:50Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > **McGoohan:** Well. In that case, I’ll be seeing you. > > (Do I really need to explain why this one is funny? 🤨 ) Probably. I get it, but I’ll bet a lot don’t. Certainly anyone much younger than I am won’t. I’ve used the phrase at times as a “goodby”. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/241 "2026-05-11T19:33:10Z")
> [@Dr.Winston\_OBoogie](#): > > I’ve used the phrase at times as a “goodby”. I do that all the time. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/242 "2026-05-11T19:35:18Z")
Not an excuse, but his famous line in “The Prisoner” series was “Be seeing you”. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/243 "2026-05-11T19:48:28Z")
> [@griffin1977](#): > > for recent shows Although another recent show that is a contender is Derry Girls… > My auntie went to England years ago to get the abortion, never came back. Never got the abortion either. Look at you James! Michelle Derry Girls Series 1 Episode 1 Though again actually longer than 5 years ago, which is crazy talk 😉 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=11) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=13)