# What is the single greatest line in television history? {Please include context & Episode of the Series} **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 7, 2026, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892 "2026-05-07T16:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/244 "2026-05-11T20:24:48Z")
In Season 3 of _The IT Crowd_, Moss and Roy play a joke on Jen, the clueless IT manager. They give her a small box with a flashing light and tell her it’s The Internet. They tell her she has been given special permission by the Elders of the Internet to show it off at a shareholder meeting after she wins Employee of the Month. **Jen** : Wait a minute! The Elders of the Internet? (beat) The Elders of the Internet KNOW WHO I AM?!? I say something similar all the time when I’m told something that is blatantly ridiculous. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 8:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/245 "2026-05-11T20:26:02Z")
“This Jen, is _the internet_” could also be a contender for greatest line. ---
**Author:** ![ZonexandScout](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zonexandscout/32/544_2.png) [@ZonexandScout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ZonexandScout)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/246 "2026-05-11T20:29:12Z")
True. Great scene overall. ---
**Author:** ![WildaBeast](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wildabeast/32/6_2.png) [@WildaBeast](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/WildaBeast)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/247 "2026-05-11T20:51:13Z")
Since other people mentioned Simpsons quotes: “I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I’m with isn’t it, and what’s it seems weird and scary to me, and it’ll happen to you, too.” That’s probably not the greatest l line in TV history, but it may be the wisest thing Abe Simpson ever said. And I can attest that now that I’m middle aged, it did happen to me. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 9:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/248 "2026-05-11T21:19:32Z")
There was an Australian series called _The Games_; it was a mockumentary about the organizing of the Sydney Olympics. In one scene, the the heads of the organizing committee are meeting with a creative consultant who is suggesting a few changes to the ceremonial aspects of the Games. Things like the shape of the medals (round medals being “cliche”), and the order that the teams enter the stadium during the opening ceremony. Jasmine (looking at her notes): “…there’s this one, yes, this one. The traditional release of the doves on their flight of peace. Frankly, I was hoping for something a bit more Australian.” John:" Australian?" Jasmine: “Emus, perhaps?” John: “Emus?” Jasmine: “Yeah!” Bryan: “Emus don’t fly, Jasmine.” John: “A walk for peace.” Jasmine: “Exactly.” John: “A long-necked waddle for peace.” I do recommend watching the whole clip. [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/17NKos-7GCo/hqdefault.jpg "The Games Excerpt") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=17NKos-7GCo) ---
**Author:** ![penultima\_thule](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/penultima_thule/32/3833_2.png) [@penultima\_thule](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/penultima_thule)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/249 "2026-05-11T22:40:37Z")
IMHO, the clip ends before the punchline. John: “Just how long is the 100m track, Mr Wilson?” Jim: “94m” ---
**Author:** ![caligulathegod](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/caligulathegod/32/9685_2.png) [@caligulathegod](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caligulathegod)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 10:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/250 "2026-05-11T22:51:50Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > Similarly, from the _Simpsons_ episode “Homer’s Phobia,” where Marge is trying to gently break it to Homer that their new friend John is gay: > > MARGE: He enjoys the company of men. > > HOMER: Who doesn’t? I have to add on the funniest line from that, " You know me, Marge. I like my beer cold, my TV loud.. and my homosexuals FA-LAMING!" ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/251 "2026-05-11T22:52:22Z")
The whole scene is great. The part about the 100 meters track is brilliant, but doesn’t really reduce to a single line. “A long-necked waddle for peace” makes me laugh every time I watch it. ---
**Author:** ![Magiver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/4491bb/32.png) [@Magiver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Magiver)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/252 "2026-05-11T23:00:06Z")
Taxi, [“Love is the end of happiness”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P84kNA5Kbg4) ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 11:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/253 "2026-05-11T23:03:31Z")
Oh another strong also ran… > Jesus Christ, see you, you are a fucking omnishambles, that’s what you are. You’re like that coffee machine, you know: from bean to cup, you fuck up. Malcom Tucker Thick of It Season 3 Episode 1 ---
**Author:** ![Moriarty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/moriarty/32/49_2.png) [@Moriarty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Moriarty)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/254 "2026-05-11T23:04:21Z")
I thought of one that could send tingles down your spine. > [@](#): > > You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. Rod Serling, _The Twilight Zone_ ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 11:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/255 "2026-05-11T23:35:43Z")
> [@Moriarty](#): > > I thought of one that could send tingles down your spine. > > > [@](#): > > > > You’re traveling through another dimension, a dimension not only of sight and sound but of mind. > > Rod Serling, _The Twilight Zon_ Good one. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2026, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/256 "2026-05-11T23:47:18Z")
“Tell him I’m going to the back seat of my car with the woman I love and I won’t be back for 10 minutes!” –Homer Simpson, in The Simpson’s parody of “An Officer and a Gentleman” ---
**Author:** ![Dung\_Beetle](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dung_beetle/32/7945_2.png) [@Dung\_Beetle](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dung_Beetle)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2026, 1:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/257 "2026-05-12T01:09:30Z")
> [@WildaBeast](#): > > That’s probably not the greatest l line in TV history, but it may be the wisest thing Abe Simpson ever said. I could get behind this one. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2026, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/258 "2026-05-12T01:17:49Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > “Be seeing you”. Also from the John Wick saga. ---
**Author:** ![griffin1977](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/977dab/32.png) [@griffin1977](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/griffin1977)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2026, 1:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/259 "2026-05-12T01:26:41Z")
> [@WildaBeast](#): > > That’s probably not the greatest l line in TV history, but it may be the wisest thing Abe Simpson ever said. And I can attest that now that I’m middle aged, it did happen to me Yup I’d consider this as a definite contender. I was going to quote it in the Mr Beast thread the other day. ---
**Author:** ![turtlescanfly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/65b543/32.png) [@turtlescanfly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/turtlescanfly)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2026, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/260 "2026-05-12T02:30:57Z")
“In the criminal justice system, there are two separate, yet equally important groups…” So great I don’t even have to finish the line, you all know it. Opening every episode over 20+ seasons. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2026, 2:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/261 "2026-05-12T02:47:36Z")
Makes for an interesting trivia question, although the answer will be obvious now. Steven Zirnkilton has been on prime time, network TV every week for 36 years. What role does he play? (He does the voiceovers at the beginning of _Law & Order_, and its various spinoffs.) ---
**Author:** ![eschereal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eschereal/32/18939_2.png) [@eschereal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/eschereal)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2026, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/262 "2026-05-12T03:35:10Z")
From the last episode of _Coupling_       Yeah, trust me, the word wasn’t “can’t”. Context (bear in mind, this is a London British accent): Susan is in labor. It is not going so well. Steve comes flung out of her hospital room and explains to the nurse that he is supposed to ask her two more times if she really wants an epidural. Nurse: She said you can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Author\_Balk](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e0b2c6/32.png) [@Author\_Balk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Author_Balk)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2026, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/263 "2026-05-12T11:46:51Z")
> [@Robot\_Arm](#): > > Steven Zirnkilton has been on prime time, network TV every week for 36 years. What role does he play? (He does the voiceovers at the beginning of _Law & Order_, and its various spinoffs.) Would Mike Post have a longer span? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=12) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=14)