# What is the single greatest line in television history? {Please include context & Episode of the Series} **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 7, 2026, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892 "2026-05-07T16:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![P-man](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/p-man/32/3606_2.png) [@P-man](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/P-man)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2026, 11:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/284 "2026-05-17T23:22:22Z")
Night Court, when Roz accidentally overdoses on insulin. She wanders onto the ledge of the building, and Dan goes out with a syringe to combat the overdose of insulin. It turns out he needs to give it to her in the buttock. He succeeds in saving her life, and she insists that he listens to her thank him. He does, followed by the last line of the episode: “I saw your butt.” ---
**Author:** ![Thing.Fish](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/thing.fish/32/9168_2.png) [@Thing.Fish](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Thing.Fish)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2026, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/285 "2026-05-18T00:31:14Z")
Ted Lasso, Christmas episode (S2E4). Context: Sam is a Nigerian footballer who Higgins, an Englishman, is inviting to Christmas dinner. Higgins: Sam, back home, what does Christmas make you think of? Sam: Colonialism. Higgins: Oh, right… ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2026, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/286 "2026-05-18T13:07:36Z")
Frank from Everybody Loves Raymond: "Let me ask you… she’s in a bad mood, what, two, three days tops? Not so tough now, right? Pretty soon she’s gonna get a mood that lasts five days. Then it’s a week. And before you know it, what used to be a bad mood now takes over and becomes her only mood. And then, you become like me where not a day goes by that I don’t wish there was a comet screaming towards Earth to bring me sweet relief. ---
**Author:** ![sciurophobic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cab0a1/32.png) [@sciurophobic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sciurophobic)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2026, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/287 "2026-05-18T16:40:22Z")
The best line from ELR was in the finale. Ray has come out of surgery where there was a brief moment where it looked like he might not survive. Afterwards he jokes that Debra was probably probably planning his funeral and dating other men. And then Frank responds with a perfect blend of anger and fear, **“Hey! I was there and I saw your wife fall apart! I never saw her look like that. And I’ll tell you, I never wanna see her look like that again!”** ---
**Author:** ![Past\_Paper](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/past_paper/32/21268_2.png) [@Past\_Paper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Past_Paper)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2026, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/288 "2026-05-20T05:51:13Z")
Sopranos Season 2 Episode 11 ‘House Arrrest’ Tony: “What’s the point? You go to Italy, you lift some weights, you watch a movie. It’s all a series of distractions 'til you die.” No story I’ve ever read or heard or watched ever blatantly said this kinda idea out loud in one simple sentence. ---
**Author:** ![Tibby](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tibby/32/17030_2.png) [@Tibby](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tibby)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2026, 6:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/289 "2026-05-20T06:54:45Z")
_"You can’t make a Tomlette without breaking some Greggs.”_ — _ **Succession** _ It’s a goofy, idiotic pun, but it perfectly captures the power dynamic between Tom and Greg: protégé pet, punching bag, and lower-status emotional support intern. It nicely sums up the whole _Succession_ ecosystem, in one stupid joke. ---
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2026, 10:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/290 "2026-05-20T10:28:39Z")
1975 episode of the Mary Tyler Moore Show, “Chuckles Bites the Dust” “A little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down your pants…” ---
**Author:** ![xizor](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xizor/32/102_2.png) [@xizor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xizor)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2026, 10:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/291 "2026-05-20T22:41:56Z")
_Landman,_ season 2 I think The context:Tommy (Billy Bob Thorton) is coming home and his ex-wife is having a pirate themed dinner inside. The “what do you do with a drunken sailor” song is blaring loudly from inside the house. The line: [Tommy] I swear, one of these days, a little demon’s gonna run out of the fucking bushes and fuck me right here on this porch. Right on this goddamn porch, while that song’s playing. ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2026, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/292 "2026-05-20T23:26:09Z")
In _Yes, Minister_, the Minister needs to appoint someone to run a Quasi-Autonomous Non-Governmental Organization (referred to throughout the episode as a QUANGO). It’s a job with good pay and little work; the kind of political plum that governments traditionally give to their loyal friends, or people they need favors from. The new Minister has taken a stand against that sort of political favoritism. While that’s been going on, the Minister has given a radio interview touting the success of a public/private construction project that he doesn’t know is in financial trouble. Needing help to avoid looking like a fool, he identifies the two people who can get him out of the jam and decides to appoint them as co-chairs of the organization. Sir Humphrey: It takes two to quango, Minister. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 20, 2026, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/293 "2026-05-20T23:48:15Z")
From _ **SNL** _: The Coneheads are contestants on a game show hosted by Bill Murray: **Bill:** So, where are you folks from? **Beldar:** France. ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2026, 2:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/294 "2026-05-21T02:07:41Z")
In Bojack Horseman: > [@Mr. Peanutbutter](#): > > The universe is a cruel, uncaring void. The key to being happy isn’t the search for meaning; it’s just to keep yourself busy with unimportant nonsense, and eventually, you’ll be dead. ---
**Author:** ![Baal\_Houtham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/baal_houtham/32/13604_2.png) [@Baal\_Houtham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Baal_Houtham)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2026, 4:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/295 "2026-05-21T04:42:47Z")
> [@Peter\_Morris](#): > > Need Asner fast? I haven’t read every post, but I think that’s probably the greatest single line in this thread. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2026, 5:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/296 "2026-05-21T05:43:05Z")
On _ **Seinfeld** _, when Kramer reveals that he’s stopped wearing underwear: “I’m out there, Jerry. And I’m loving every minute of it!” 😯 ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2026, 4:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/297 "2026-05-21T16:28:21Z")
Kudos to Kodos (Simpsons). A space monster badly impersonating a campaigning president has everything to say about empty speeches, politics, AI and progress. The first quote is far better, but both are as relevant as ever. **Kodos** : (as Clinton) We must go forward, not backward. Upward, not forward. And always twirling, twirling, twirling towards freedom. * * * **Kodos** : It’s a two party system! You have to vote for one of us! **Man** : He’s right, this is a two-party system. **Man 2** : Well, I believe I’ll vote for a third-party candidate. **Kang** : Go ahead, throw your vote away. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2026, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/298 "2026-05-21T16:50:00Z")
Heheh, I have a bootleg “Don’t blame me, I voted for Kodos” t-shirt. ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2026, 4:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/299 "2026-05-21T16:58:41Z")
> [@Frodo](#): > > “This Jen, is _the internet_” could also be a contender for greatest line. For me it’s, “Well, if The Hawk says it’s okay…” (Stephen Hawking allegedly “demagnetized” The Internet and sent his best wishes to Jen.) ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2026, 5:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/300 "2026-05-21T17:34:39Z")
Homer Simpson: “I have three kids and no money. Why can’t I have no kids and three money?” ---
**Author:** ![Snarky\_Kong](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a183cd/32.png) [@Snarky\_Kong](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snarky_Kong)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2026, 10:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/301 "2026-05-21T22:11:19Z")
You want this baby boy’s soul, you gotta pay the troll toll. - Frank Reynolds IASIP. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2026, 10:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/302 "2026-05-21T22:16:48Z")
Offered without comment: [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/sedG1kBtn1M/hqdefault.jpg "Eric Morecambe on Ice Cream") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sedG1kBtn1M) ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2026, 9:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/303 "2026-05-22T09:28:13Z")
Not really a contender, because it’s from _Blue Harvest_, the _Family Guy_ spoof of _Star Wars_, not a regular episode, but great, because I think it echoed what had been in lots of people’s heads in 1977. The older son, as Luke, goes into Leia’s (played by the mother) cell to rescue her, and she says “Aren’t you a little fat for a Storm Trooper?”\* Chris/Luke turns to leave, and replies **“Fine, stay here you stuck up bitch.”** 😆 \*If there’s actually someone who hasn’t seen _Star Wars_, the line from the movie to which this refers is “Aren’t you a little short for a Storm Trooper?” because Luke is in a stolen uniform. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=14) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=16)