# What is the single greatest line in television history? {Please include context & Episode of the Series} **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 7, 2026, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892 "2026-05-07T16:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 17
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2026, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/324 "2026-05-24T17:51:26Z")
I find it hard to believe that simply having Morena Baccarin portraying Inara Serra wasn’t enough to get the show renewed. ---
**Author:** ![Frodo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frodo/32/302_2.png) [@Frodo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Frodo)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2026, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/325 "2026-05-24T20:30:51Z")
Forget it **BlankSlate** , it’s FoxTown. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2026, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/326 "2026-05-24T20:44:44Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Claudius was horrified when he saw Gemellus’s severed head and asked who it was. > > **Caligula:** (_Nonchalantly_) It’s Gemellus. I’ve cured his cough. Yeah, another great one. That entire show was beautifully written. (Including @LurkMeister 's longish excerpt.) I’d assume some of the bon mots were Robert Graves’ own—but possibly in dramatizing the novels the screenwriter, Jack Pulman, added some. (Pulman adapted several literary works. Sadly, he died in his 50s.) ---
**Author:** ![Whack-a-Mole](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/whack-a-mole/32/141_2.png) [@Whack-a-Mole](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Whack-a-Mole)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2026, 8:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/327 "2026-05-24T20:57:32Z")
The one I remember from this brilliant ending was Bob telling Emily he was married to a blonde. Emily turns on the bedside light, looks at Bob glaring at him and asks: _“What blonde?”_ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2026, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/328 "2026-05-24T21:08:18Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > Pulman adapted several literary works. Yes, he wrote the first few episodes of the original _ **Poldark** _ TV series. Sadly, he was dismissed after changing the narrative considerably. Read the novels, and the differences become clear right away. Later writers tried to set things right, but they never succeeded completely. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2026, 9:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/329 "2026-05-24T21:16:14Z")
I watched the original _Poldark_ (not the remake) and of course that was decades ago. My only real memory is that it was a scandal when then-host of _Masterpiece Theater_, Alistair Cooke, who was expected to offer some entertaining commentary on the last episode, said ONLY ‘_And now we’ve come to the end of **Poldark** _.’ (Or words to that effect. As a non-fan he wouldn’t say more.) ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2026, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/330 "2026-05-24T21:23:49Z")
Huh! I don’t remember that at all. However, I do remember some writer saying Cooke “reportedly loathes the series,” probably in _ **TV Guide** _. Why he would “loathe” it, I don’t know. There were two seasons of the series. I watched the first one when I was living in England (1976–77), and I read the novels (at the time, there were only six) and saw the second series after I’d returned to the US. The second series ended with Morwenna Chenowyth marrying Demelza’s brother Drake. I was gobsmacked when I realized Joyce Barnaby on _ **Midsomer Murders** _ was played by the same actress (Jane Wymark). ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2026, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/331 "2026-05-24T21:26:01Z")
Yes, Alastair was kind of judgmental. (I should look up the novels.) ---
**Author:** ![Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/marvin_the_martian/32/2898_2.png) [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Marvin_the_Martian)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2026, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/332 "2026-05-24T21:35:36Z")
Another one from _The Good Place_: > And then it hit me: they’re never gonna call a train to take us to the Bad Place. They can’t… because we’re already here. _This_ is the Bad Place. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2026, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/333 "2026-05-24T21:42:32Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > I should look up the novels. I read them when I was in high school, and I loved them. Loved enough that when I learned Winston Graham had written a new one, I wrote a letter (on my parents 40lb mechanical typewriter) to the publisher asking how I could order one. They actually kindly answered, referring me to a bookstore that dealt in their books, and had a mail-order service, and perhaps would send a book overseas. They did. I was 15, going to Western Union on my bike, to procure an international money order with my (considerable) babysitting money, after the bookstore had calculated the price for me, plus shipping. I didn’t think twice about it at the time, but it must have looked a little odd to the agent I approached. I had called the library to find out where you got that kind of money order, and then looked up Western Union in the Yellow Pages, and found them on the map in the back of the phone book. I could have asked my parents, and they would have known, but I never told them I was doing this. Not sure why. I was home when the book arrived, and I signed for it. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 1:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/334 "2026-05-25T01:39:10Z")
My favorite Basil Fawlty line, which I use all the time: “Oh, thank you, God, thank you so bloody much!” Said while waving your fist in a fit of rage. 🤬 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/335 "2026-05-25T04:27:56Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > The second series ended with Morwenna Chenowyth marrying Demelza’s brother Drake. I remembered after I wrote this that it also ended with the death of Elizabeth Warleggan after she drank the ergot potion to induce childbirth. I believe the last line was Demelza telling Ross “You can’t think like that. We have to live for today” after he said “Do you realize there will come a day when you’ll never hear my voice again, or I yours?” Pretty good after 40+ years, eh? 👌 👍 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 4:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/336 "2026-05-25T04:44:08Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “Do you realize there will come a day when you’ll never hear my voice again, or I yours?” Followed by “I find that intolerable.” ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 7:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/337 "2026-05-25T07:24:34Z")
I can hear him saying it. Another from Basil: _Schzum. What was that? That was your life, mate. Oh, that was quick, do I get another? Sorry mate, that was your lot._ [![](https://i.ytimg.com/vi/_I1N905fFDw/hqdefault.jpg "Fawlty Towers - that was your life mate") ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_I1N905fFDw) ---
**Author:** ![Robot\_Arm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/robot_arm/32/18280_2.png) [@Robot\_Arm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Robot_Arm)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/338 "2026-05-25T15:33:36Z")
There’s a line I vaguely remember from _Moonlighting_. I’m pretty sure it was an early episode, when Maddie was still trying to close down the detective agency, and David kept talking her out of it, in his usual, fast-talking way. “You can’t close down; we’re just about to make it big. Let me tell you about another business. A little roadside grocery store, run by a couple guys; no customers, milk going bad in the cooler. Then one day mister Eleven says to mister Seven ‘Sev, what do you say we open a little earlier, stay open a little later? I’ll let you put your name first.’ And ba-bing, marketing history!” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/339 "2026-05-25T20:44:02Z")
> [@Marvin\_the\_Martian](#): > > _This_ is the Bad Place. _Jason_ got it? Ooh, this one hurts. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 9:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/340 "2026-05-25T21:02:55Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > I should look up the novels. Yes, I highly recommend that you do, since they’re wonderful historical fiction that was obviously well-researched. Graham wrote a total of 12 novels in the series before he passed away. The later books focus more on Ross and Demelza’s grown children, so I actually found them not as interesting as the first six or seven. But they’re still a good read. ---
**Author:** ![Sherrerd](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sherrerd/32/8_2.png) [@Sherrerd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sherrerd)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/341 "2026-05-25T21:52:19Z")
> [@RivkahChaya](#): > > I had called the library to find out where you got that kind of money order, and then looked up Western Union in the Yellow Pages, and found them on the map in the back of the phone book. I could have asked my parents, and they would have known, but I never told them I was doing this. Not sure why. I was home when the book arrived, and I signed for it. That book must have meant the world to you, when you first held it in your hands! I had a somewhat similar experience–though not as complicated as yours as I was an American pre-teen wanting a book from an American publisher. (It was one of Eloise Jarvis McGraw’s books set in ancient Egypt; I’d checked out the library copy too many times, I guess.) And @terentii —with both your recommendations, I will definitely look for the Graham books. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2026, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/342 "2026-05-25T23:20:08Z")
> [@Sherrerd](#): > > I will definitely look for the Graham books. Once you start reading them, you’ll want to visit Cornwall. I’ve been there, and it’s gorgeous! ---
**Author:** ![E-DUB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/e-dub/32/403_2.png) [@E-DUB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/E-DUB)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2026, 1:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/343 "2026-05-26T01:17:10Z")
Has no one mentioned: As God is my witness I thought turkeys could fly. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=16) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=18)