# What is the single greatest line in television history? {Please include context & Episode of the Series} **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 7, 2026, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892 "2026-05-07T16:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![Fear\_Itself](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fear_itself/32/19637_2.png) [@Fear\_Itself](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Fear_Itself)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2026, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/344 "2026-05-26T01:58:09Z")
Four times. ---
**Author:** ![Guest-starring\_Id](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guest-starring_id/32/21736_2.png) [@Guest-starring\_Id](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guest-starring_Id)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2026, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/345 "2026-05-26T02:31:18Z")
“If we can’t kid each other, _who can we kid_?” Jerry Hubbard and Barth Gimble used this one sometimes in “Fernwood Tonight”, whereby someone would say the first part, and then everyone in chorus would finish with “who can we kid?” Quite often lounge supremo Tony Roletti would be joining in, who btw came up with his own greatest tv line: “I’m not gonna stop 'till I get it right.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2026, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/346 "2026-05-26T06:20:42Z")
I remember one episode of _ **America 2-Night** _ where Barth and Jerry’s guest was singer Anne Murray, who hails from Nova Scotia. Jerry started talking about what a great neighbor Canada is and told Anne “Go ahead, say something in Canadian for us.” ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2026, 10:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/347 "2026-05-26T10:56:37Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Jerry started talking about what a great neighbor Canada is and told Anne “Go ahead, say something in Canadian for us.” You laugh, but back in the 1980s, a (white) kid from South Africa transferred to our school, and her counselor put her in remedial English, because she assumed the student would not be a native speaker. They were very anti-Apartheid, if anyone wants to know. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 26, 2026, 2:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/348 "2026-05-26T14:17:43Z")
Having interacted with the American educational system myself, this does not surprise me at all. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2026, 11:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/349 "2026-05-28T23:51:08Z")
> [@ricepad](#): > > IMO, a line that is truly great doesn’t need context. It is either great on it’s face, or it creates context in the beholder’s mind (even if the context it creates is not the one from the TV program). IOW, if you gotta explain it, it’s not great. I agree. And looking at is this way (which, IMO is the spirit of the OP) we see that most posters in this thead misunderstood the OP and thought they were asking: “what is your favorite line from your favorite show?” or “what is the best _scene_ ever on TV?” I’ve only seen 3 or 4 posts here that would actually be contenders for ‘best line ever’ and I don’t mean that as knocking anyones favorite line. I only mean that lines like: > _"Yes ma’am. Three will do just fine_"\* …can never vie for ‘best line ever’ because theres nothing “best” about it. It’s just normal dialog. I think most people responding here actually referred to great _scenes_ and mentioned lines from that scene instead of referring to actual great _lines._ So there are only a few contenders so far. Certainly the Buddy Hackett line from the Tonight Show is brilliant but its not a scripted show. Probably the _“…seltzer down the pants”_ line is a potential great and I’ve seen a few others as well. But, _“Ohhh shit!”_ from just about every action movie ever should not count—no matter how good the scene or movie was. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > Neither of your posts are about single lines, though. Did you mean _lines_ or _sentences_? . . \*totally made-up example so as to protect the innocent ---
**Author:** ![Dr\_Paprika](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dr_paprika/32/3042_2.png) [@Dr\_Paprika](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dr_Paprika)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 12:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/350 "2026-05-29T00:12:14Z")
I still like the Fawlty Towers episode where Manuel has a pet rat, and is trying to convince Basil that it is a Siberian hamster. **Basil:** Well, of course it’s a rat! You have rats in Spain, don’t you - or did Franco have them all shot? ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/351 "2026-05-29T00:28:58Z")
> [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](#): > > But, _“Ohhh shit!”_ from just about every action movie ever should not count—no matter how good the scene or movie was. Of course not; the thread is about lines from television shows, not movies. ---
**Author:** ![I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/i_love_me_vol.i/32/521_2.png) [@I\_Love\_Me\_Vol.I](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/I_Love_Me_Vol.I)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/352 "2026-05-29T00:31:03Z")
Quite true. Simply transpose the comment to the key of TV. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/353 "2026-05-29T02:34:16Z")
> [@ricepad](#): > > IMO, a line that is truly great doesn’t need context. It is either great on it’s face, or it creates context in the beholder’s mind (even if the context it creates is not the one from the TV program). IOW, if you gotta explain it, it’s not great. Hard disagree. It’s the context that makes the line great. ---
**Author:** ![scabpicker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scabpicker/32/8268_2.png) [@scabpicker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scabpicker)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 4:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/354 "2026-05-29T04:45:51Z")
I’d generally agree with you, but there are gems that stand on their own. ‘Oh, Lisa! You and your stories! “Dad, Bart is a vampire.” “Beer kills brain cells.” Now, let’s get back to that… building thingy… where our beds and T.V… is.’ The Simpsons, Treehouse of Horror IV. Bart is a vampire, and beer does kill brain cells. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 7:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/355 "2026-05-29T07:15:59Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > It’s the context that makes the line great. That seems an awful lot like having to explain a joke. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 7:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/356 "2026-05-29T07:17:27Z")
More like telling the whole joke instead of just the punchline? ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/357 "2026-05-29T14:59:48Z")
> [@ricepad](#): > > That seems an awful lot like having to explain a joke. > [@Czarcasm](#): > > More like telling the whole joke instead of just the punchline? Exactly. Or to put it in a slightly different way, it’s like saying the Gettysburg address was the greatest speech in American history and neglecting to mention it was given during the Civil War. Or FDR’s “We have nothing to fear, but fear itself,” without mentioning the Great Depression. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/358 "2026-05-29T15:22:58Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > More like telling the whole joke instead of just the punchline? I think when someone suggests a line, they fill in the rest of the conversation in their minds, because they already know the context. ---
**Author:** ![salinqmind1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/958977/32.png) [@salinqmind1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/salinqmind1)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 3:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/359 "2026-05-29T15:29:38Z")
The Puffy Shirt, I read, is now in the Smithsonian along with Archie Bunker’s chair. ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 3:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/360 "2026-05-29T15:42:30Z")
> [@Dewey\_Finn](#): > > I think when someone suggests a line, they fill in the rest of the conversation in their minds, because they already know the context. They do, but we may not. I have watched a LOT of TV in my dull and uneventful life, but I am amazed by the number of shows mentioned in this thread of which I have never seen a single episode. ---
**Author:** ![Dewey\_Finn](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dewey_finn/32/4222_2.png) [@Dewey\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dewey_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 3:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/361 "2026-05-29T15:45:34Z")
That’s my point; without that context that’s in the head of the person making the suggestion, can the line be appreciated? Some of them are just baffling out of context. ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2026, 3:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/362 "2026-05-29T15:46:05Z")
> [@Kent\_Clark](#): > > I have watched a LOT of TV in my dull and uneventful life, but I am amazed by the number of shows mentioned in this thread of which I have never seen a single episode. And I would surmise that lines from those programs don’t hit for you as candidates for being the single greatest line in television history. At least that’s how I feel about them. If you have to give the context, it’s not the greatest. ---
**Author:** ![RivkahChaya](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rivkahchaya/32/8919_2.png) [@RivkahChaya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RivkahChaya)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2026, 11:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/363 "2026-05-30T11:07:54Z")
> [@Czarcasm](#): > > More like telling the whole joke instead of just the punchline? upvote [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=19)