# What is the single greatest line in television history? {Please include context & Episode of the Series} **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 7, 2026, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892 "2026-05-07T16:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 6
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/103 "2026-05-08T00:35:11Z")
The Mikkelson’s considred themselves to be the authority on everything. They were wrong quite often, though. They claimed that they would not believe it happened without seeing a video tape of the show no matter how many people swore they saw it. I used to argue with the Mikkelson’s about this in the 1990s. I also know otherw who saw the show that night and remember it clearly. ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/104 "2026-05-08T00:36:59Z")
It happened. I don’t remember if the newspapers reported the terms of the withdrawal of the lawsuit. I suspect that one term was that Carson and the Tonight Show would have to destroy the tape and could never refer to it again. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 12:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/105 "2026-05-08T00:38:09Z")
It didn’t happen because it would have been censored. If you could provide a single link instead of telling us to look it up ourselves you might have a case, but you can’t. ---
**Author:** ![Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/q.q.switcheroo/32/5713_2.png) [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Q.Q.Switcheroo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/106 "2026-05-08T00:40:28Z")
I also find it unlikely that Zsa Zsa (or anyone else, really) would call her cat a “pussy” unless she was trying to set up a risqué joke. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 12:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/107 "2026-05-08T00:43:58Z")
Can you provide a link to a newspaper talking about the lawsuit at all? ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 12:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/108 "2026-05-08T00:45:44Z")
Do you think that they would cancel the show so they could edit the tape? ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/109 "2026-05-08T00:47:18Z")
Nobody would have thought it worth the trouble to clip the articles out. I remember reading them, but that was only one article in the newspaper. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 12:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/110 "2026-05-08T00:47:54Z")
> [@blondebear](#): > > You’d think a marine biologist would know a whale is a mammal. But no, George says “fish”, thus blowing his cover. However, the term “fish” is no longer a defined zoological term. And before Linnaeus, fish meant “stuff that lives in the water” like blackfish, crayfish, jellyfish, etc. > [@billy-jack](#): > > I also know otherw who saw the episode. It never happened- BTW, that same story was also told with Raquel Welch. If you dont like Snopes [No, Johnny Carson Never Said That: The Late-Night Myths That Won’t Die - LateNighter](https://latenighter.com/features/johnny-carson-late-night-myths/) > It’s a great story—but it never happened. No tape of the incident exists, and when contacted by the rumor quashers at [Snopes.com](http://Snopes.com) way back in the 1990s, [both Gabor and Carson issued denials](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/carson-cat-remark/). Other versions of the same tall tale involving Raquel Welch, Farrah Fawcett, and Ann-Margret have also been disproven. No lawsuit was filed. Of course, this could well be a Mandela effect issue. I was on the Bozo show, and yes, Bozo did say to the kids= “Thats a Bozo no-no”. " But that doesnt mean that on air any kid replied “Cram it clownie”. Lots of urban legends about stuff that never really happened on TV. But note the “Newlywed game Up the Butt Bob” really happened, but the wording was a little different- > **['Up the Butt, Bob'](https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/up-the-butt-bob/)** > > Rumor: A 'Newlywed Game' contestant said the 'weirdest place she'd ever made whoopee' was 'up the butt.' ---
**Author:** ![billy-jack](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ac91a4/32.png) [@billy-jack](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billy-jack)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/111 "2026-05-08T00:55:14Z")
If they censored every little thing, The Newlwed Gmae would certainly have made the list repeatedly. The tv in the 1960s was less prim and proper than it became later. The thing that really surprised me was watching a late movie one evening with a scene in which a man and woman were lying in bed and the blanket didn’t cover her breasts. It left me wondering if I had really seen what I saw. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/112 "2026-05-08T01:00:00Z")
Side note: it never actually aired back when people claimed they saw it instead of admitting that they only heard one (of many) versions of it from others. Rumors of rumors of rumors became a fact. Yes, censors made sure that taping nevered aired on the original show. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 1:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/113 "2026-05-08T01:08:14Z")
> [@colinfred](#): > > Is there context here, because I don’t get why that’s funny? When helping Ralph prepare for the quiz show, Ed Norton would always warm up by playing “Swanee River” on the piano. Ralph finally told him to knock it off, and when the time came to answer the question, he froze because he knew the tune but couldn’t name its composer. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 1:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/114 "2026-05-08T01:36:04Z")
Oops, never mind, I didn’t see someone’s comment. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/115 "2026-05-08T01:40:14Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > Kramer quits the “no-sex” contest after spending less than a minute alone “No masturbation,” not “No sex.” However, the “M word” is never used in the show. ---
**Author:** ![needscoffee](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/needscoffee/32/1076_2.png) [@needscoffee](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/needscoffee)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 1:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/116 "2026-05-08T01:40:51Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > However, the “M word” is never used in the show. It was “the master of your domain”. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 1:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/117 "2026-05-08T01:44:43Z")
> [@Q.Q.Switcheroo](#): > > I also find it unlikely that Zsa Zsa (or anyone else, really) would call her cat a “pussy” unless she was trying to set up a risqué joke. How about Mrs Slocumb on _ **Are You Being Served?** _ 🤨 (As an aside, I just realized the character’s name is a risqué joke as well. Try saying it out loud. 🤣 ) ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/118 "2026-05-08T01:45:45Z")
Different country, different rules. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/119 "2026-05-08T01:46:28Z")
> [@needscoffee](#): > > It was “the master of your domain”. Or “the Queen of the Castle,” in Elaine’s case. 😁 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/120 "2026-05-08T01:56:20Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > Foundling Teri Garr, confronting a lineup of men in clown suits: “All right, which one of you bozos is my father?” I just reviewed the cast list for _ **Fresno** _, and am pretty sure it was Canadian actress Valerie Mahaffey who delivered the line, not Teri Garr. I remembered Teri because she spent a large portion of the show in lingerie. 😍 ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/121 "2026-05-08T02:54:28Z")
“What am I? Some sort of blind ghost with clothes?” - Geordi La Forge in the ST: TNG episode _The Next Phase_ after Ensign Ro insists they are both dead and in the afterlife. * * * _“There! Are! Four! Lights!”_ - ST: TNG: _Chain of Command II:_ Final line of Picard to the Cardassian torturer who has been trying to get him to say that there are five lights as part of the process of breaking him. * * * “In your own words, this is not our affair. We cannot interfere in the natural course of your society’s development. And I’d say it’s going to develop _significantly_ in the next few minutes.” - ST: TNG _The Hunted._ The context is a situation where the planetary ruler, who has been insisting that the situation is an “internal affair” and the Federation can’t interfere hypocritically begs Picard to intervene _now_ that he’s surrounded by the armed people he’s been persecuting. ---
**Author:** ![BlankSlate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blankslate/32/80_2.png) [@BlankSlate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BlankSlate)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/122 "2026-05-08T03:33:21Z")
From the recent HBO mini-series **DTF St. Louis:** _That’s where all the dildos go…_ Context: Peter Sarsgaard’s character explaining to two detectives why every suburban strip mall has a MailBoxes ETC. _“Now, do you ever wonder why all these normal people who have homes out here need all these P.O. boxes? It’s for privacy. That’s where all the dildos go, sir. Mail Boxes Etc. They should call it ‘Dildos Etc.’”_ [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=5) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=7)