# What is the single greatest line in television history? {Please include context & Episode of the Series} **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** tv-shows-scripted\ **Created:** [May 7, 2026, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892 "2026-05-07T16:30:46Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 7
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 3:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/123 "2026-05-08T03:42:26Z")
_“Yes you did, you invaded Poland!”_ ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/124 "2026-05-08T03:45:06Z")
Moderating: i think we’ve beaten the dead pussy… I mean horse long enough. Please no more comments on that line. ---
**Author:** ![schnebs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/35a633/32.png) [@schnebs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/schnebs)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/125 "2026-05-08T03:49:16Z")
Another poignant line from MASH: “There are certain rules about war. The first rule is young men die. And rule number two is doctors can’t change rule number one.” Henry to Hawkeye, “Sometimes You Hear The Bullet” ---
**Author:** ![ASL\_v2.0](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asl_v2.0/32/3525_2.png) [@ASL\_v2.0](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ASL_v2.0)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/126 "2026-05-08T03:54:11Z")
Every morning before I step out the door to go to work: “Lisa, do I have my pants on?” Said by Homer Simpson as he is about to leave the house. I mean, it’s _The Simpsons_, and it’s a one-liner, but what a line… ---
**Author:** ![Der\_Trihs](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/der_trihs/32/233_2.png) [@Der\_Trihs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Der_Trihs)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/127 "2026-05-08T03:59:57Z")
Speaking of the Simpsons: [“I know now what I can offer you that no one else can. Complete and utter dependence!”](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XezDfO9rLJE) - Homer in [Secrets of a Successful Marriage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Secrets_of_a_Successful_Marriage) ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 4:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/128 "2026-05-08T04:04:07Z")
“Soylent Green is people!” Charleton Heston + movie of the same ---
**Author:** ![Gatopescado](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gatopescado/32/5711_2.png) [@Gatopescado](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gatopescado)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 4:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/129 "2026-05-08T04:05:26Z")
Agree with this. Gordon Jump will live forever because of this line. ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/130 "2026-05-08T04:21:32Z")
Not a television quote, though. ---
**Author:** ![smithsb](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smithsb/32/12107_2.png) [@smithsb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/smithsb)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 4:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/131 "2026-05-08T04:28:14Z")
I’ve seen Soylent Green on TV​😁 Oops, my bad. ---
**Author:** ![Kron](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kron/32/12444_2.png) [@Kron](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kron)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 5:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/132 "2026-05-08T05:09:59Z")
> [@E-DUB](#): > > “Now, this is all the money Niska gave us…” I’m sad for anybody that didn’t immediately see that scene in their heads the second they read that line… ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 5:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/133 "2026-05-08T05:28:45Z")
> [@Der\_Trihs](#): > > _“There! Are! Four! Lights!”_ > > - ST: TNG: _Chain of Command II:_ Final line of Picard to the Cardassian torturer who has been trying to get him to say that there are five lights as part of the process of breaking him. Similarly, in B5 when Sheridan (again) is being interrogated. **Capt. John Sheridan** : You know, it’s funny, I was thinking about what you said, that the preeminent truth of our age is that you cannot fight the system. But if, as you say, the truth is fluid, that the truth is subjective, then maybe you can fight the system. As long as just one person refuses to be broken, refuses to bow down. **Interrogator** : But can you win? **Capt. John Sheridan** : Every time I say “no.” ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 6:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/134 "2026-05-08T06:36:24Z")
“I am called Valen, and we have much work ahead of us.” Another one from Babylon 5. I guess it seems like a pretty pedestrian line without the context. ---
**Author:** ![Smapti](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/smapti/32/17938_2.png) [@Smapti](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Smapti)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 7:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/135 "2026-05-08T07:36:59Z")
“Space - the final frontier.” If you need context, then I don’t know where you’ve been. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 7:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/136 "2026-05-08T07:42:36Z")
“Young lady, in this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!” ---
**Author:** ![Spoons](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spoons/32/3141_2.png) [@Spoons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spoons)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 8:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/137 "2026-05-08T08:08:55Z")
While I like “As God is my witness …” from WKRP, in my opinion, it is edged out by “‘To Serve Man…’ It’s a cookbook!” from the original Twilight Zone. ---
**Author:** ![Locrian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/locrian/32/14146_2.png) [@Locrian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Locrian)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 8:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/138 "2026-05-08T08:09:33Z")
Can’t find clip, but… West Wing, Toby and Sam. “I don’t understand. Did you trip over something?”----- Sam: Last week I accidentally slept with a prostitute. Toby: A prostitue? Sam: A call girl. Toby: Accidentally? Sam: Yes. Toby: I don’t understand. Did you trip over something? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 10:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/139 "2026-05-08T10:44:53Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > “Yes you did, you invaded Poland!” “Whatever you do, don’t mention the War! I did once, but I think I got away with it.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 11:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/140 "2026-05-08T11:00:09Z")
In “The War of the Simpsons,” Homer and Marge go on a marriage retreat. The Flanderses are there too, and Ned is asked to reveal something that irritates him about his wife: **Ned:** Maude, God blees her… She’s always marking passages in _my_ bible instead of _hers_! **Homer:** (_Sotto voce_) Humph! Good thing you don’t keep guns in the house! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/the_stainless_steel_rat/32/5727_2.png) [@The\_Stainless\_Steel\_Rat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Stainless_Steel_Rat)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 12:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/141 "2026-05-08T12:03:13Z")
Great line, but I would note it was first ‘said’ in the short story by Damon Knight. Pedantic, I know, but that’s where I first saw it. ---
**Author:** ![Alessan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alessan/32/465_2.png) [@Alessan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alessan)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2026, 1:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892/142 "2026-05-08T13:11:19Z")
“I burn my life to make a sunrise that I know I’ll never see.” Andor, Season 1, “One Way Out”. (Although honestly, that monolog has at least three more lines that are just as good. What an amazing show that was).. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=6) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-single-greatest-line-in-television-history-please-include-context-episode-of-the-series/1029892.md?page=8)