# What is the strangest thing you've ever had come out of your ass? **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [November 29, 2001, 3:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851 "2001-11-29T03:47:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [November 30, 2001, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/41 "2001-11-30T21:50:03Z")
The thread immediately before this one? Vaginal Discharge. Right after? Plastic Testicle Update It don’t get much better than that. ---
**Author:** ![cleops](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/2acd7d/32.png) [@cleops](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cleops)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/42 "2001-12-01T04:01:37Z")
Anal, you had me laughing my ass off, out, umm…you ought to hone that talent of yours and charge for it. Very funny. I couldn’t catch my breath there for a couple of minutes. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/43 "2001-12-01T04:58:30Z")
God, lieu, I am still wheezing with laughter… ---
**Author:** ![ThatGuyWithPants](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@ThatGuyWithPants](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ThatGuyWithPants)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/44 "2001-12-01T05:30:03Z")
Ok, before I begin, I’d just like to let you all know, one of my big fears is crapping in a public restroom, especially school. Also, not too long ago I was diagnosed with Irritable Bowel Syndrome…PMS eat your heart out. So anyways, my stomach will randomly cramp up like you wouldnt believe whenever I get stressed. Oh yea, and also, I’m REALLY lactose intolerant. even Lactaid milk does me in. Anyways, to the story, I was at school this last week, and right before we got out for lunch, I got an attack. it was probobly because I had lactaid milk the day before (and actually thought I could get away with it). So here I am in HUGE pain, clenching my butt as not to let one fly in class. Well, I made it to Lunch…but then I realised…I was going to HAVE to crap at school or I would bust. sidebar…because I have never liked crapping in public places, I have gained the ability to crap, wipe, and be done in litterally less than 30 seconds. Anyways, so about 30 minutes into Lunch, I’m pacing the school hallways looking for a bathroom with nobody in it. Finally I find one, run into a stall, and set up some toilet paper on the seat. I swear it was liquid. after about 30 seconds when I finished, Problem A. struck. HOLY CRAP it smelled worse than anything I’d smelled before. So, I go faster. Then…Problem B arises…my fear. 2 guys walk in. “Oh no…!” says the first. “What are you talking about?..MAN! Oh jeez! that CANT be good” “Man, I feel sorry for that guy” “Holy Crap that smells BAD” needless to say, they decided to go to another bathroom it smelled so bad. I finished, and ran out, and diddnt get caught. That bathroom reeked though. I HATE crapping at public places… ---
**Author:** ![darksenshi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/67e7ee/32.png) [@darksenshi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/darksenshi)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 8:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/45 "2001-12-01T08:54:00Z")
I swear to god My poop has been blue. Not just a slight shade of blue but SUPER BLUE!!! I had one too many blue snoe cones. However on the fart subject… I ripped one so loud & so violent that my cat,who had been on the foot of my bed at the time, Lept 2 feet in the air & bolted out of my room & would not come back in for 3 days… ---
**Author:** ![Muffin](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/muffin/32/4341_2.png) [@Muffin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Muffin)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 10:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/46 "2001-12-01T10:09:30Z")
My grandmother had a little terrier, which in its dotage had a nasty habit of emitting nauseating, necrotic, house clearing odours. My uncle’s solution was to take it for walks, in the countryside, miles from home, without a leash. Unfortunately, it was a close knit community, so after a day or so someone would return the dog to them, often with the comment, “Good god, what’s the matter with this thing!” ---
**Author:** ![Cartooniverse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cartooniverse/32/3084_2.png) [@Cartooniverse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cartooniverse)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 11:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/47 "2001-12-01T11:59:06Z")
What is the strangest thing I’ve ever had come out of my ass? Oh,that’s easy. The Philadelphia Eagles 1978 Defensive Line. What’s that?? Ooooooooooh,OUT of my ass? Never mind. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Osip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/4491bb/32.png) [@Osip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Osip)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 4:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/48 "2001-12-01T16:30:39Z")
worse smell? I think I covered that already a year or so ago here: [http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=34045](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=34045) Aso for actual objects? When I was 10 I ate a large bag of sunflower seeds shell and all. The next day it felt as if I were crapping glass. Very Very painful to pass cracked sunflower seed shells. ---
**Author:** ![waterj2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/858c86/32.png) [@waterj2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/waterj2)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/49 "2001-12-01T17:49:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Caiata \* > Well, **SlickUSA** , I was four at the time. I wasn’t particularly keen on inspecting my poop to see if there were lite-brite lights in it. It was my poor, poor mother’s awful, horrible job to check my emissions for the presence of the lights - that way if a certain time span passed and they did not emerge, she knew to take me to the doctor again for more serious procedures. I had to go in the kiddie toilet for all this. That settles it. I’m never having kids. ---
**Author:** ![Creaky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e68b1a/32.png) [@Creaky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Creaky)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/50 "2001-12-01T17:59:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Badtz Maru \* > **Well, just tonight an unbelievably big and hard turd left my ass, probably about 9"x3.5". I think it’s the biggest in diameter I have ever produced.** HEE! Okay… the way you actually _gave the approximate measurements_ of your accomplishment still has me cracking up! You make it sound like you’re the foreman at a factory! ---
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 11:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/51 "2001-12-01T23:15:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by cleops \* > \*\*Anal, you had me laughing my ass off, out, umm…you ought to hone that talent of yours and charge for it. Very funny. I couldn’t catch my breath there for a couple of minutes. \*\* lol Thank you, I’m glad you and **SlickUSA** got such a perverse thrill out of my post. It’s very gratifying to me as someone with gas. And a writer, too, I guess. Bonus points for me, because I start page one and, now, page two. ---
**Author:** ![capacitor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e47774/32.png) [@capacitor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/capacitor)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2001, 11:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/52 "2001-12-01T23:46:17Z")
Boy there are some posters here. I can make a stool that almost goes around the entire circumference of the toilet bowl. That’s about four feet. Funny thing, it doesn’t hurt at all. Then, sometimes I get what has been famously referred to as Wolf ass. You know, the stool that hurts so much that you have to howl. ---
**Author:** ![Badtz\_Maru](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/e36b37/32.png) [@Badtz\_Maru](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Badtz_Maru)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/53 "2001-12-03T04:14:33Z")
Oh, length doesn’t bother me at all. My wife once told me she shat a turd that was at least a foot long, I told her that was nothing. I’ve done the ‘curl all the way around the bowl’ turd many times. I bet I’ve done some long squiggly skinny ones that would be at least 6 feet long if you could stretch them out. ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/54 "2001-12-03T13:47:58Z")
\*“Not so well, Mr. Munson. Rapunzel in there just took a shit that’s at least six feet long.” ---
**Author:** ![MONTY2](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/53a042/32.png) [@MONTY2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MONTY2)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 4:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/55 "2001-12-03T16:38:32Z")
I have a friend that has farts so bad, smelling them will make you vomit. If you ever have the displeasure of walking into an area where he has just taken a dump or farted, it really is like being surrounded by poison gas. The smell will cause your eyes to water, your throat to constrict, you will be overcome by a fit of coughing and you will vomit. Even he is not impervious to his stench. He has on occasion had to leave one bathroom mid-dump, and finish his dump in the other bathroom because the smell is making him woozy. ---
**Author:** ![Anal\_Scurvy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/c57346/32.png) [@Anal\_Scurvy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anal_Scurvy)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/56 "2001-12-03T18:18:43Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MONTY2 \* > \*\* > Even he is not impervious to his stench. He has on occasion had to leave one bathroom mid-dump, and finish his dump in the other bathroom because the smell is making him woozy. \*\* I don’t know why, but of all the times I’ve burst out laughing at this thread this is the first time I’ve laughed uncontrollably. That man sounds like a god. ---
**Author:** ![Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/258eb7/32.png) [@Wonko\_The\_Sane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wonko_The_Sane)\ **Post date:** [December 3, 2001, 9:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/57 "2001-12-03T21:12:39Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MONTY2 \* > \*\* > > Even he is not impervious to his stench. He has on occasion had to leave one bathroom mid-dump, and finish his dump in the other bathroom because the smell is making him woozy. \*\* This seems to be a \*.sig that would go perfectly with the handle “Anal Scurvy”. ---
**Author:** ![BoBettie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/4af34b/32.png) [@BoBettie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BoBettie)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 2:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/58 "2001-12-05T02:34:44Z")
Every time there is a fart/poop thread, I swear to God that I am a grown woman and will NOT laugh at the poop post. I will NOT laugh. OK, I have tears streaming down my face. I find poop incredibly funny, and I’m not ashamed! (I have a friend that I can get to practically pee her pants by saying “Uranus”, which is always huge fun) Zette ---
**Author:** ![Mudshark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@Mudshark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mudshark)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/59 "2001-12-05T04:37:20Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Zette \* > \*\*Every time there is a fart/poop thread, I swear to God that I am a grown woman and will NOT laugh at the poop post. I will NOT laugh. > > OK, I have tears streaming down my face. I find poop incredibly funny, and I’m not ashamed! > > (I have a friend that I can get to practically pee her pants by saying “Uranus”, which is always huge fun) > > Zette \*\* How can you not find poop funny? ---
**Author:** ![Batsinma\_Belfry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ea5d25/32.png) [@Batsinma\_Belfry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Batsinma_Belfry)\ **Post date:** [December 5, 2001, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851/60 "2001-12-05T05:10:41Z")
I was pooping, and although I felt the poop leave my butt, I didn’t hear the “splash down” WTF? So I raised up a little bit and looked between my legs. The poop was dangling in mid-air by a long black hair, I had short blonde hair at the time. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/what-is-the-strangest-thing-youve-ever-had-come-out-of-your-ass/95851.md?page=4)